Baby monitors/smart tech and anxiety

[PlumGoose]

We are due our first baby soon and I haven’t yet bought a baby monitor. I think I’d like to buy one that is a ‘basic’ camera rather than the new smart tech ones with socks/chest strap/breathing sensors but I don’t know if I’m being crazy or reasonable! Advice please…my main reason as follows.
Friends who have had newer tech eg Nanit and Owlet have both gone a bit crazy obsessive with it, both had a few false alarms in the middle of the night and really struggled once the baby outgrew it to relax without it. They had to use it every single night without fail to be able to function. They became entirely dependent and reliant on it and checking it eg breathing stats even if they had a babysitter so there really is 0 downtime. I don’t want to be like that and I think a lot of this smart tech type baby stuff is marketed towards anxious parents but actually causes the anxiety itself if that makes sense?!
My husband is relaxed either way about what type we go for but I know he is an anxious type and I think he would also become obsessive on the data if we get a smart camera.
YABU- you will regret not getting a smart camera, its worth it and I didn’t suffer those problems
YANBU- you don’t need to spend £200-300 on this, a basic camera is absolutely fine
Really keen to hear your views either way.

Personally I would feel a camera is way over the top!

Why not just get a normal one that you can hear the baby through?

I didn’t get one of the breathing monitors because I knew how it would feel me out of there was a malfunction or something. Baby should be in your room for at least 6 months and then you can get a regular camera.

You don’t even need one with a camera. I wouldn’t call that “basic”. We didn’t have a baby monitor at all.

You don't need a camera at all. We used the most basic one we could get. Plugged into wall, audio only.

We didn't have a monitor at all.

You don't need a camera baby should be in the same room at you at all times to protect from SIDS until 6 months old. We have a smart sock on our baby while we sleep even though she's in our room with us so we know that if she stops breathing in the night for any reason the alarm will wake us up and we can take action before it's too late. I'mm terrified of SIDS and this makes us feel safer and sleep easy at night.

As others have said, you don't need to worry about it any time soon as your baby should be sleeping in the same room as an adult for at least the first six months. Including naps.

After that... well, you might get one like mine who never slept alone anyway! We never needed anything beyond a basic audio-only one, because she was no longer a baby by the time she was spending any time sleeping alone. Not by a long shot. 🤣

I'd recommend not worrying about it for now, and seeing where you are a few months from now before making any purchases.

Ideally you should aim to get an EEG baby monitor. The little cap sits on baby's head at night and gives a continuous reading throughout the night and allows you to track baby's brainwaves. The output is converted to a warning light system and will alert you to a non normal pattern/ lack of REM.

You're right, although even one with a camera on is a little OTT. We got a simple BT audio only one when our son moved into his own room, as we have a 3 storey house so his room is above our room (on the middle floor) so when we are downstairs in particular we wouldn't hear him.

Part of the pregnancy and parenting journey is learning that you don't need all of the stuff the marketeers want you to think that you need. My son was such a wriggle bum in his sleep from birth that any sock/cap/whatever would have come straight off so we'd have been forever thinking he had died.

We've found a monitor with a camera useful for our DC. I think the breathing sensors are only useful if specifically recommended by a paediatrician in specific circumstances. I don't think the ordinary monitors which claim to monitor breathing/EEG etc have been put through medical trials to see if they actually do what they claim. And they seem quite prone to "false alarms", invoking serious anxiety for parents. Don't do it!

So what do you do if baby goes to sleep before you go to bed? Go to bed early? Or put him/her down in the living room, and carry them up with you when you go to bed?

I love my camera monitor but never used other tech. We needed to nap ours alone from about 3mo as they would not sleep downstairs and I don’t really want to sit in the dark in silence for 2 hours! The camera is also useful for the 2yo to see what mischief he’s up to now he’s free range 😂

We have a smart sock on our baby while we sleep even though she's in our room with us so we know that if she stops breathing in the night for any reason the alarm will wake us up Isn’t the theory that they won’t stop breathing if they’re in the same room because they take their rhythm from your breathing?

Same here.

Just to say, there is absolutely 0 evidence that any of these devices prevent SIDS, because unfortunately, it is always too late. It is just to monitor and to attempt to ease the parent.

I'm pregnant and undecided, my logical head is saying the above, that having one cannot prevent SIDS, however my emotional side is saying well, what if?

@MereDintofPandiculation Yes, the liklihood of SIDS dramatically reduces when the parents sleep in the same room as the baby, as you said the baby picks up the parents rhythm of breathing.

SIDS can't be entirely prevented anyway, including with the use of a monitor, just reduced.

We got a CUBO AI for DS - love it! Still using now as a toddler and works well for us. Would recommend 👍

Just get a basic listening only one though two way can be helpful to say "go back to bed" once older!

My friends had one that beeped with baby's breathing and having spent a lot of time in ICU with a relative on a monitor it seriously triggered my anxiety. For that reason I avoided all the fancy ones. We had a camera one but also a basic £20 audio one for when we stayed with my Mum or holidays. In the end we just used the audio one almost all the time and it was very freeing.

SIDS isn't prevented by these fancy monitors and the evidence of even sleeping in the same room being necessary beyond 4 months isn't strong. I read Emily Oster's book Cribsheet and decided to try not to let the anxiety get to me.

Remember the people marketing this tech is creating a market through fear. We didn't have a monitor at all, they stayed with us until they went into toddler beds around 18 months

We have a basic camera, Hello Baby from Amazon, works well and does the job. Sound is rather low on it though. We also have an audio monitor and I actually prefer that! Don't worry about buying it before baby is born though as at first they will sleep in the pram carrycot or Moses basket etc downstairs with you until you go up to bed in the evening. We didn't start putting our baby to bed in our bedroom (slightly before us) till they were about 3 months old. The guidance is 6 months I know but by 3 months they just didn't settle as easily with background noise, but baby was obviously still with us overnight. (Still is now at 11 months but we do put her to bed by herself for the start of the evening. Now she's older I prefer just an audio monitor as I relax more without noticing her every tiny twitch, weirdly!)

We had the angelcare breathing monitor with DS1 and will do the same with our second. It reassured us once we were going to sleep. We never had any false alarms either. Once he was 6 months and in his own room, we had a camera too just so we could see if he was stirring etc. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are if it'll reassure you or make you more anxious.

I have a Nanit. I like the various features combined in to one and had no problem stopping using the breathing bands when they were outgrown. It's not totally necessary but I find it useful.

She just sleeps in the moses basket in the lounge with us in the evening then we carry her up to the bedside crib when we go to bed.

We got one with a camera once the baby went in his own room at 8 months. I also didn’t want an owlet because I knew I’d become obsessed with it.

I like being able to see him in the night and if he stirs I can see whether it’s just a bit of a whinge in his sleep or a proper cry where he’s sitting up looking for us. We use this one.

www.mamasandpapas.com/products/vtech-vm5463-video-baby-monitor-white-297302700?utm_term=40360014872741&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADsD1Fbpb4CcY43U1ant_f7dqZYnm&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0pSa0LGuhwMVwotQBh36MwlFEAQYBCABEgL5SfD_BwE