To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

[Cynthiaramsey]

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

No they don't.

It's literally what they're for. The solution to poor distribution of low resources is not to just stop using those resources.

Exactly. If an action has been designated as a crime, then by definition you cannot be wasting police time in asking them to investigate it.

I'm sure we can be sympathetic to overworked and overstretched police service, but our politicians and senior civil servants wouldn't have drafted the legislation, debated it, voted on it and passed it if they didn't think it was a problem and didn't want it to be used. A class of people who're generally ferried around by chauffeurs and who very rarely have to tramp the pavements in the rain have actually done something to try and protect ordinary people from this kind of abuse and ensure they have some redress in law. So we might as well use it.

Now there's an argument that, as more legislation comes onto the statute books, we need more human resources in law enforcement and the courts service to ensure it can be addressed. Maybe our new government (headed by an ex CPS official, after all) might want to tackle it. But a shortage of personnel isn't really an argument for not reporting crimes, surely?

I’m glad you went home and that your boss was okay about it. I am sorry for what happened to you - it’s horrible- and I would certainly report it to the police. I think you’ll find they will listen to what you have to say. That driver needs to be penalised for what he did.

People are just nasty idiots and brave when they are in their cars. This has happened twice to me. I didn't get a car until my daughter was 1 so walked everywhere.

First time I was walking on a main road - was a warm summer day but heavens opened and torrential rain. Put cover over pram thank goodness. Car went past and purposely drove into a huge puddle (which other cars avoided) and drenched me.

Second time was walking again on main road holding my 1 year old daughter while my mum pushed pram. Again summer and it had been raining earlier. Car came speeding along- I knew exactly what was going to happen but there was nowhere to go t9 avoid in time, young guy with female passenger obviously showing off - deliberately drove into pot hole filled with rain and saturated myself, daughter and mum. I was fuming!

When it happens it really affects you and makes you angry and upset. You'll feel better after a couple of days. Some people are just arseholes and they know who to do it to. Especially using disgusting language like that, they wouldn't do it to a male.

I wouldn't ask my boss if I could go home I would be telling him BTW.

This TOTALLY grinds my gears, I watched this happen years ago when my youngest was at school and I had dropped her off. On my way home I followed a young lad in a white van deliberately drive into a puddle, soaking a young girl who was dressed for work and who was clearly upset.
I was in full menopausal rage-mode on that day, and so I bloody followed him, to a very busy local bakery where he got out and went in, so I parked up and followed him in and confronted him in the line, in front of the whole shop "I have just watched you and need to ask why you just deliberately drove through a huge puddle and soaked a young girl, who was just walking on the pavement?"
He looked at me as everyone turned to stare at him and just left the shop without uttering a single word, feeling like cock-of-the-walk and much to the delight of the women behind the counter, I then bought a massive belgian bun and left..
I still hope to this day it totally f*cked up his routine of buying anything from that bakery ever again.

But to ask the question, when in the world would you catch a woman doing this? You just wouldn't, men can be absolute twats at times and we can only hope karma comes back to bite these ones, on the arse..

Hope you're okay now.. ❤️

Sometimes young blokes are absolute pillocs. They probably know they can’t have you so have to come up with ‘witty’ ripostes in front of their equally brain dead mates.

I am very sorry that this happened to you and you are not at all unreasonable to feel shaken. I remember being quite heavily pregnant and some young guys making lewd comments from their wound down window about someone getting there first and they still would etc and I just looked down at my belly and rolled my eyes at them. They then called me slapper for ages in a traffic jam so all could hear as I walked past.

I felt just like you did. It’s horrible and they are dreadful - worse in your case as the bastards splashed you too. Sadly, you will probably always remember it - I do. But just realise how sad and pathetic they are. No one happy or normal behaves like this.
Sorry again this happened to you. Utter wankers.

They bloody well should do. The deliberately splashing thing is already a crime, but the shouting of the insult would seem in my amateur non-legal opinion to elevate it to the status of a hate-motivated crime (misogyny in this case). If it was a work van, and they can track it down, then they might find themselves getting sacked - which might make them reconsider their behaviour in the future. (I mean it probably won't, but one can hope).

"I still hope to this day it totally f*cked up his routine of buying anything from that bakery ever again."

Legend! 💯

Why dont you just ask him outright? Dont assume he'll say no.

@OuterSpaceCadet *But more than that, it was done by men, to a woman walking alone, with a misogynist slur thrown in too (just in case you hadn't guessed they were pathetic little pricks).

All these little "nothing terrible in the grand scheme of things" incidents add up. They serve to remind women of our position in our deeply unfair patriarchal society. If you're one of the many women who've already experienced male violence, incidents like this are retraumatising.

If misogyny wasn't so entrenched it would be classified a hate crime*.

^ exactly this.
Loathsome individuals.

If you feel up to it, do report it. It will probably help you feel better, and there's at least a small chance that the officer taking the report will say "Hold on, there's CCTV right near there, let me take a look".

I'd walk that road again today or tomorrow at the latest and look for cameras, and rthen enquire within if you can see some. If they are the back area of shops with any kind of window or entrance I think they'd be highly likely to have cameras up. You'd be surprised how many houses have now too. We had a car accident (non fault) on a quiet residential street and were thrilled to find one of the houses on the other side of the road had captured it all perfectly.

That's awful, OP. I hope you'll be able to put it behind you but in these situations, it's not the being wet, is it? It's the encounter with revolting brutish people - which always comes as a shock.

It was absolutely not a personal thing - they would have targeted any woman (bet they wouldn't have dared do this to a man though) and you just happened to be there. They are the lowest of the low. I hope you feel better soon and I defnitely think you should be allowed to go home and change. It was basically an assault!

Do you think in the 30 hours since she posted

1. someone else might have suggested that?
2. a new day of work might have started?

It is really hard not to hate men sometimes. My mate was driving along, stopped at the traffic lights, car drew up alongside her, guy wound the window down and said "Oi slag, suck my dick" and as the lights changed he drove off laughing. There are some bloody vile horrible men out there who derive pleasure from shocking and distressing women and do not have to even lay hands on them to do so, they feel invincible in their cars. I am so sorry this happened to you,not surprised you are upset and shocked. We should be allowed to go out and lead our lives without our peace being upset by gits like this

Apparently it's an offence to deliberately do that. If you got the vans registration or if there were cctv/cameras about then contact police

I was waiting for a taxi outside a taxi cab office a couple of years ago and a car with 5 guys drove by, one hanging out the window screaming "i want to f**k you up the arse!".
I was 50.
The attempts to humilliate never stops.
Perhaps its ok to hate them when merited and go against our conveniently suppressive training?
Afterall they dont seem willing to restrain themselves, anywhere in the world.

I think this is now illegal ,and the police would be interested.There was a case of a driver splashing a young mum and her DC. police were behind him and he was stopped and charged .It is often misogynist as well .Big men in big van intimidating lone females .Unlikely to do the same to a 6 feet male!

What a revolting assault. 💐

Hope you’re feeling better OP. Nasty little misogynist losers.

Go to the police and report this. Its akin to an assault! Deliberately speeding up to soak some one is disrespectful and shouting out "slag" is an escalation to an entire other thing.Sounds like the types that could think it was okay to physically attack a woman based on their visual perception of how they look or dress. Please report this. Take care. Don't let it get you down though. Bloody Morons!!

This happened to my cleaner on her way to my house - she was in floods of tears and genuinely beside herself. I gave her dry clothes and a cuppa as ANY employer would do.

I don't think it's dramatic - you have been physically and verbally attacked!

All these accounts of casual misogyny are precisely why the OP should ignore posters telling her not to report this crime of assault to the police and ignore those criticising her shaken up reaction to it. Men who go on to do much worse things always start somewhere. OK 9/10 misogynists in a van may turn out to be nothing more than arseholes, but so what? Women having to put up with casual sex based and sexual assault has gone on too long unchecked. Fuck them, let them get collared by the police and lose their jobs.

Not only did they soak you, but I believe shouting an obscenity at you could be classed as common assault, especially as it shows intent.

Glad you are warm and dry now.

I hope their homes become flea infested and all their food goes off and gives them the shits.

How are you feeling today OP? Did you report the van? We need to keep speaking up and exposing these low lifers! Don’t let them get you down MN has your back