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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

OP posts:
PrincessofWells · 16/07/2024 15:42

It's a criminal offence, actual bodily harm. Probably on cctv. Make a complaint to the police . . . please.

Cello60 · 16/07/2024 15:58

Something very similar happened to
me and I felt the same - it’s the sheer unnecessary spite towards a complete stranger that shakes you. 😞. Hope the OP feels better after a clean up and cup
of tea.

MaryMack · 16/07/2024 15:59

You must report this incident, those wankers deserve it. Plus if they were driving a work van, then their employers will take a dim view of their behaviour. Phone 101 or report it online, location, approximate time, description of van and occupants will all be useful.

Glad you're feeling better. I cycle to and from work and frequently get comments shouted at me from car windows - usually someone trying to be funny and yelling 'get off that thing and milk it!' and other such crap. It always makes me jump and that in itself is a danger, not just to me but to other vehicles on the road.

AlexaAdventuress · 16/07/2024 16:00

It's well worth reporting, even if they can't identify the men concerned. It lets the authorities know there's a problem. It's a sufficiently serious issue that our elected representatives and senior public officials have made it into an offence, by Act of Parliament. So infrastructure has been put in place to help the unfortunate pedestrian.

Hope your groceries weren't anointed with puddle water at the same time!

Naunet · 16/07/2024 16:03

Nasty little misogynist pricks. I had the same happen to me, I was 16 walking home after a 10 hour shift at work and a car full of young men intentionally splashed me, followed by their mates(?) in the car behind them doing exactly the same. Such lols.

bakail · 16/07/2024 16:04

I had a half empty milk shake carton chucked at me, a car full of youngish men all laughing.

Not surprisingly they usually pick on lone women. Can't imagine why.

Wheresthebeach · 16/07/2024 16:07

Horrible thing to happen. Please do report it, if there is cctv they will get held accountable and hopefully not do it to anyone else.

Itiswhysofew · 16/07/2024 16:10

Apart from it being a disgusting thing to do to someone; you have to wonder if those dickheads have the brains to realise that they could be fined or sacked for doing it?

The mind boggles.

Glad you're now warm and with your furry friendBrew

Bulkypeepants · 16/07/2024 16:12

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 14:45

Omg this is horrible! Not going to lie, I would be in tears over that too. I’m sorry that those things happened to you 😔 why are people like this?!

Some people are like this because they have shit lives with little money, no education, no skills, poor health and parents that don't love/never loved them. Just remember that and smile at how tragic their shitty little lives are.

Naunet · 16/07/2024 16:14

SannaK · 16/07/2024 14:55

So is shouting In the street that a woman is a slag even with evidence a criminal offence?

Is that slander?

Even with evidence? Sorry, what evidence are you suggesting proves a woman to be a ‘slag’, and why does it only apply to women?

Boomer55 · 16/07/2024 16:16

Take unpaid leave for a couple of hours.

HolyPeaches · 16/07/2024 16:26

Omg what a bastard!😡

Hope you’re feeling okay now, and I’m glad to read you were allowed to go home.

When I was 14/15 I remember walking to meet a friend one afternoon after school, a guy in a van sped past me and launched a full McDonald’s milkshake at me and he screamed with laughter as he drove off. I’m early 30’s now and I still think about it whenever a van speeds past.

SleepEatSnoozeRepeat · 16/07/2024 16:29

Glad you’re at home, warm and dry. Those men are scum and I hope you feel better for reporting it. If you happen to have a local Facebook group for your area, it may be worth posting for possible dash cam or doorbell videos, it’s surprising what will come out that way.
This happened to DD and I walking to school one morning after a big storm. She went in front of me on a narrow bit of pavement and a bus for a large private school came thundering past us, we were both drenched. I made sure I took photos of us both and emailed the school. Got an apology and they said they would speak with the driver. Don’t know what then happened but the drivers do seem to have been a bit better since. We go the same way every day so you get to know the regular traffic!
I am very careful past big puddles now, and have been known to have my phone ready for video/photo taking just in case. It’s assault, pure and simple.

oakleaffy · 16/07/2024 16:44

@Cynthiaramsey That is a really pathetic, vile thing to have happened- those little twats are probably impotent and have to get their kicks putting down women.

It's always a shock to get sprayed like that- I've had it happen a few times, but luckily no one had shouted anything-

It's a horrible shock to be sprayed with filthy cold gutter water.

The drains around here are really silted up and just don't drain surface water away.

I do now keep an eye out for puddles on narrow pavements- there are a couple of notorious spots around here.

One, a male friend got drenched at.

Fernticket · 16/07/2024 16:45

ToWonderWhyIBother · 16/07/2024 15:18

This happened to my mum in the 80's in Glasgow town centre, she was out shopping and going for some lunch with her friend and two guys in a van did this. My mum was so angry she chased him up the street, where he had got stopped at a red light, she opened the passenger door and battered the bloke with her hand bag whilst calling him all manner of names in true glaswegian style.

Once she was finished she shut the door and advised him to think twice the next time he did this and walked back to her friend whilst the puddle was dripping down her hair and face, and trying to look ladylike.

40 years later at my mums funeral her friend relayed this story to everyone at the meal and the whole place was in stitches, it was such a lovely way to remember the fiesty lady that my mum was.

Bloody good for your Mum👍

Tabitha005 · 16/07/2024 16:45

Those men are absolute scumbags. And it's ALWAYS men doing this sort of thing with clear intent, isn't it?

oakleaffy · 16/07/2024 16:49

Bulkypeepants · 16/07/2024 16:12

Some people are like this because they have shit lives with little money, no education, no skills, poor health and parents that don't love/never loved them. Just remember that and smile at how tragic their shitty little lives are.

Men who have self respect would never shout something like that out at a woman.

It's always the creeps, the dim , badly educated ones who can never find a girlfriend, {Because of their shite personality} who are nasty like this.

oakleaffy · 16/07/2024 16:56

ToWonderWhyIBother · 16/07/2024 15:18

This happened to my mum in the 80's in Glasgow town centre, she was out shopping and going for some lunch with her friend and two guys in a van did this. My mum was so angry she chased him up the street, where he had got stopped at a red light, she opened the passenger door and battered the bloke with her hand bag whilst calling him all manner of names in true glaswegian style.

Once she was finished she shut the door and advised him to think twice the next time he did this and walked back to her friend whilst the puddle was dripping down her hair and face, and trying to look ladylike.

40 years later at my mums funeral her friend relayed this story to everyone at the meal and the whole place was in stitches, it was such a lovely way to remember the fiesty lady that my mum was.

Be Great The Best GIF by SportsManias

Your Mum !

Lourdes12 · 16/07/2024 16:57

This happened to me on my lunch break right outside EAT which is were I was going for lunch. The staff in EAT saw it and felt so sorry for me they gave me free lunch!🥰. When I came back to the office I used the hand drier to dry my hair and clothes

JohnofWessex · 16/07/2024 16:58

Elsbetka · 16/07/2024 14:41

Honestly truly, you hope they crash and die? You don't think that punishment is a little out of proportion?

Well its not that nice for the inhabitants of hell but apart from that it will help keep the streets safe

JohnofWessex · 16/07/2024 17:01

One obvious thing that should be done IMHO is that there needs to be a 'fit and proper' test for anyone holding a driving licence.

So in this case not only the driver but his mate loses their licence

PurplePenguin2468 · 16/07/2024 17:10

Definitely report it! Might make them think twice before doing it again. Pleased you're home now warm and safe. Enjoy your chocolate!

Avatartar · 16/07/2024 17:11

I’d report too, makes you feel less helpless. Perhaps get a FB message out too somehow without revealing your identity asking for dashcam or similar to get in touch

thomasinacat · 16/07/2024 17:22

alittlequinnie · 16/07/2024 14:01

Oh OP - I feel so sorry for you.

I was cycling home about 18 years ago and two lads in an ADT van kept pulling up to me and playing "who let the dogs out" and laughing their heads off.

It was crystal clear they were telling me I was a dog.

It never occurred to me at the time - but I should have reported it to ADT.

I proper cried when I got home and I still feel awful every time I think of it now - 18 years later!

About a year after that I was cycling home and there was a bus behind me and I was coming up to a bus stop - the bus was waiting for me to pull in and a man at the bus stop shouted at me "get off the road you stupid bitch" - I cried at that one too.

I just don't understand where men get off with this sort of thing - they are just total idiots! :(

ironic really, as believe it or not that's actually a feminist song, about a group of women enjoying a party then a group of men come and ruin it with their obnoxious behaviour. Course those guys would be too thick to comprehend this level of sophistication, even if it was explained to them in very simple language.

LoremIpsumCici · 16/07/2024 17:33

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

It’s illegal so they should find and fine them
https://www.mylondon.news/news/health/law-car-splashes-puddle-water-15520807

”What might seem like a harmless prank to motorists could see them be fined as much as £5,000.
Driving through puddles and splashing pedestrians may seem like a normal or unavoidable occurrence, but it is not just rude - it could be illegal.

Under the Road Traffic Act 1988, it is illegal to drive "without reasonable consideration for other persons". The law also bans "driving through a puddle causing pedestrians to be splashed".
READ MORE:Call for 'dangerous' cycle lanes near bus stops to be changed over fears for safety
While the £5,000 figure is one extreme, most people would be handed a fixed £100 penalty for the offence, Gloucestershire Livereports.
That would be imposed if the driver’s behaviour is found to be "an act of incompetence, selfishness, impatience, or aggressiveness".
However, as well as points, drivers are risking three and nine penalty points on their licence.
Will police really act?
Last year, in Cambridgeshire, an appeal was launched to find a motorist who soaked a mother after ploughing through a puddle.”

What you can legally do if a car splashes you while driving through a puddle

Large puddles are risky to pedestrians and drivers

https://www.mylondon.news/news/health/law-car-splashes-puddle-water-15520807

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