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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel shaken by this incident and want to leave work?

242 replies

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:22

It’s been non stop raining where I live for days. I don’t drive so on my dinner I walk to a local Sainsbury’s. Today I waited for the rain to stop and then went out, so I didn’t have an umbrella and I don’t have a coat because even though it’s wet, it’s still warm.

I was walking to Sainsbury’s and the road was clear, then I suddenly heard a car speed up. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on because before I knew it, they drove speeding into a puddle on the side and splashed me. It was a massive puddle so the water has drenched me! It stopped me in my tracks because it was freezing and all my hair and face were wet. As the van drove off, the guy in the passenger seat wound his window down laughing and shouted “slag!” At me. I feel really upset. I know nothing awful happened in the grand scheme of things but it’s just knowing that they sped up to do that on purpose and then laughed about it and called me a name. I am back in work now but my hair is wet and my clothes are so wet they are stuck to me on one side. I feel freezing cold and want to go home so that I can get changed and then just work my last few hours at home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask? Am I being dramatic? I told my boss what happened because I walked back through the door all wet and he was just saying that they’re idiots etc but hasn’t offered to let me go home to change into something dry. So I feel like he would say no. I just feel a bit sad and miserable now.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 16/07/2024 13:25

Thats awful, total arseholes. I believe its actually an offence now so its a shame you didn't get their number plate.
Have you asked your boss if you can get changed and come back? How long would you be gone?
I don't think you can expect your boss to be a mind reader

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 16/07/2024 13:25

If your clothes are soaked I would definitely be saying I'm going home and I'll either wfh or owe the hours (or book leave or something).

You don't have to sit there in wet clothes.

Also it's not much use now but should it ever happen again, try and get the number plate. I believe what they did is now an offence

celadora · 16/07/2024 13:25

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SinnerBoy · 16/07/2024 13:26

I would go and ask him and explain that I'm freezing cold, wet and filthy. Presumably, he won't want dirty, wet furniture etc?

pastaandpesto · 16/07/2024 13:26

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, and I'm not surprised you feel upset and shaken. It's a really, really horrible thing to happen.

It's also illegal. I think you should report it, it may have been captured on CCTV.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/drivers-splashing-pedestrians-face-fines-of-up-to-5000/

Topjoe19 · 16/07/2024 13:26

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Go home. Get something nice to eat or have a bath. Try not to think about it (easier said than done!)

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:27

pastaandpesto · 16/07/2024 13:26

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, and I'm not surprised you feel upset and shaken. It's a really, really horrible thing to happen.

It's also illegal. I think you should report it, it may have been captured on CCTV.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/drivers-splashing-pedestrians-face-fines-of-up-to-5000/

Thank you, I wish I got the number plate because it was a work van, it had some sort of signage on it so they must have worked for a company and I’d like to tell them. But I didn’t even think to look properly at the time

OP posts:
SuncreamAndIceCream · 16/07/2024 13:27

What absolute scum

I would go and speak to your boss, and tell them you're soaked to the skin and need to go home

MereDintofPandiculation · 16/07/2024 13:28

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 16/07/2024 13:25

If your clothes are soaked I would definitely be saying I'm going home and I'll either wfh or owe the hours (or book leave or something).

You don't have to sit there in wet clothes.

Also it's not much use now but should it ever happen again, try and get the number plate. I believe what they did is now an offence

It always has been an offence. It comes under "driving without due consideration"

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:28

Hoppinggreen · 16/07/2024 13:25

Thats awful, total arseholes. I believe its actually an offence now so its a shame you didn't get their number plate.
Have you asked your boss if you can get changed and come back? How long would you be gone?
I don't think you can expect your boss to be a mind reader

Oh of course I don’t want him to read my mind. But I just thought seeing as he didn’t say anything other than calling them idiots, maybe I am just being dramatic. That’s why I just wanted to see what people think first and whether it would be a reasonable request to ask to leave

OP posts:
FadedRed · 16/07/2024 13:28

Honestly, some people are just a waste of oxygen. 💐
This is actually a motoring offence, so if you got their number, the name of the company if it was a commercial van, or there was CCTV available, I’d be inclined to report to 101. Though other posters will probably say that’s an overreaction, but if a stranger threw liquid over you in a pub or shop, it would be class as an assault,
And I wouldn’t wait for your boss to tell you to go home and get changed, just say you are going and go.
Sorry this happened to you.

Dentalflossie · 16/07/2024 13:29

pastaandpesto · 16/07/2024 13:26

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, and I'm not surprised you feel upset and shaken. It's a really, really horrible thing to happen.

It's also illegal. I think you should report it, it may have been captured on CCTV.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/drivers-splashing-pedestrians-face-fines-of-up-to-5000/

Yes report it. If you know the time, the van is quite likely to be on CCTV.

Sussurations · 16/07/2024 13:29

That’s horrible and I don’t think you are overreacting one bit. In my workplace it would be okay to ask to go home after that. Whether you do or not, make sure you look after yourself - have a nice bath, get yourself a treat etc. Flowers

Rhaidimiddim · 16/07/2024 13:30

Go home. This was an assault on you - no blood drawn, but a strange male deliberately causing you harm and distress. As a result of which you are shaken, but also no longer professionally attired.

celadora · 16/07/2024 13:31

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:27

Thank you, I wish I got the number plate because it was a work van, it had some sort of signage on it so they must have worked for a company and I’d like to tell them. But I didn’t even think to look properly at the time

It might not be too late, if you're in a commercial area, there is likely to be CCTv around, even if you may not see it.

Elsbetka · 16/07/2024 13:31

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Out of interest, how would you feel if they did crash and die? Triumphant?

OP, I'm really sorry that happened to you - it's shit, and they sound like massive wankers, and crucially it's absolutely no reflection on you. I wouldn't hesitate to politely tell my manager that I needed to go home.

RoseUnder · 16/07/2024 13:32

So sorry OP. You must feel very shaken up.

Of course it’s reasonable to go! Your boss is perhaps busy and has other things on his/her mind and (slightly sexist of me perhaps) if he’s a man might not appreciate just how awful it was, or care as much as he should. But mostly he’s probably just busy.

Just tell him you’re going home as soaking wet and freezing and wfh for the rest of the day. And don’t underplay it to him - he should know how awful a thing it was to experience!

MissUltraViolet · 16/07/2024 13:32

Are there any businesses along the road that may have CCTV or houses with doorbell cameras? I'd have to go look/ask so I could find out the name of the company.

Sorry it happened to you. Some people are just pathetic creatures. Imagine going out of your way to do that to a person, then the added 'slag' afterwards. How fucking embarassing for them, absolute scum.

As for work, if you feel really uncomfortable then yes - ask to go home and change at least.

celadora · 16/07/2024 13:33

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happypickle · 16/07/2024 13:34

So sorry this happened to you, I honestly don't know what would make a man do this to a innocent women minding her own business. Take comfort in the fact they must be very miserable deep inside. Try and leave work early and do something to make yourself feel better tonight.

TheCosyRain · 16/07/2024 13:35

Ask to go home OP, it’s completely reasonable. And please report it too. It is an offence.

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:36

Thank you everyone for your responses. He has said it’s fine for me to leave and carry on at home. I can’t believe I even hesitated asking tbh, but it’s just one of those things where I don’t know if other people would know how something like that feels if it’s never happened to them, and would think it’s an overreaction.

I feel completely embarrassed and upset. But thank you for the nice replies I appreciate it x

OP posts:
SeeSeeRider · 16/07/2024 13:37

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:27

Thank you, I wish I got the number plate because it was a work van, it had some sort of signage on it so they must have worked for a company and I’d like to tell them. But I didn’t even think to look properly at the time

You could report it to the police, they might look at CCTV footage, a long shot I know, but maybe worth a go?

Ginnnny · 16/07/2024 13:39

You're soaked through, email your boss to say you can't sit comfortably in the office so plan to leave to go home and dry off and will work the rest of the day. Don't ask permission. It's not good for you to sit in wet clothes x

Cynthiaramsey · 16/07/2024 13:39

SeeSeeRider · 16/07/2024 13:37

You could report it to the police, they might look at CCTV footage, a long shot I know, but maybe worth a go?

Would the police take this kind of thing seriously?

OP posts:
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