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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 moaning about my ds!

37 replies

newmama0 · 12/04/2008 00:01

i was out on a girls nite out wiv 5 of my best gf 2nite. the nite was arranged cos ive been down n they wanted to cheer me up. my ds1 (3) has been a bit of a nite mare hurtin ds2 (7mts) n throwin screamin fits on a daily basics so i was havin a bit of a moan (3 gf have kids 2 dont) n 3 joined in wiv tales bout there dc. when one wivout kids said we sud not moan we sud thank our lucky stars we have kids when sum people cant. now dont get me wrong i know im lucky n luv my kids to bits. but its her bloody choice not to have any, there is nothin medically wrong wiv her she just chooses to b wiv sum1 who doesnt want kids. now sud i just ignore her or as my dh says ring her in the morn. ps when she got wiv her partner she knew he didnt want children pps sorry such a long rant but she really p*ed me off

OP posts:
Ledodgy · 12/04/2008 00:18

Forget it you were ranting she was ranting. End of.

slim22 · 12/04/2008 00:27

She's probably broody now. It's not very supportive to have the "well you can only blame yourself attitude" when someone is in that situation.
People change and maybe it's time to help her talk things through and decide wether she should move on if having a child is going to be central to her emotional balance.

If you really consider her as a friend, then be a friend. If not, just let it lie.

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:02

slim 22 i dont have a you can only blame yourself attitude at all. im a good supportive friend but at the end of the day we all make our own choices in life n this person has made it clear for years she would like a baby, yet chooses to be wiv a person who refuses point blank to have a child, we have spoke to her a number of times over this matter and always supported her, yet she chooses to stay . to be made to feel like a bad person n a bad mother for sayin my ds1 was a bit of a nitemare at the mo where was my support? i always thought friendship was a give n take thing but you can only give so much. so maybe you r right maybe im not a friend but im sure as hell not bein made to feel guilty for havin a child friend or not!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 12/04/2008 10:03

Can't read your post so can't reply!

lulumama · 12/04/2008 10:05

can i just say that text speak and no paragraphs make it really difficult to read and understand your posts?

it sounds like sour grapes. we all like a whinge from time to time, if your friend has not got children, and her partner does not want them she might well be jealous, and can't admit it

forget about it, no point falling out over something as silly as this

LynetteScavo · 12/04/2008 10:07

Did reading that make anyone else feel dizzy?

ecoworrier · 12/04/2008 10:10

Must admit, I couldn't even get to the end of it. Sorry, but it's just too hard work reading that. I'm sure you'd get more helpful responses if you had a few paragraphs and less text speak.

BetteNoire · 12/04/2008 10:10

Your posts make my head hurt.

Had you both been drinking?
If so, put it down to the booze talking and move on.

And perhaps you don't know everything about your friend - maybe she has fertility problems that she hasn't shared with you.

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:11

sorry for txt speak, n no paragraphs
but had a really s*y wk and to think the people you call your support group make you fell worse than you felt before. doesnt seem like friendship to me

OP posts:
Disenchanted · 12/04/2008 10:13

You lot are so judgemental sometimes

lulumama · 12/04/2008 10:13

does that mean sh*tty week?

why not give your friend a ring and invite her round, have a proper heart to heart, she might not know she has hurt you? and she might be hurting too...

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:14

n i dont drink as im breastfeeding.

OP posts:
Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:15

im new so havent quite got the speak n writing down yet.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 12/04/2008 10:16

You can drink when breastfeeding! Just dont get plastered.

hercules1 · 12/04/2008 10:16

You will get more responses if you don't use text speak.

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:18

thankyou herrcules1 will try!

OP posts:
BetteNoire · 12/04/2008 10:19

Maybe she's just got a bit fed up of all the mothers in the group chatting about their children, and she felt a bit left out?

Does she know how hard you're finding things at the moment?

Maybe you should give her a ring, and have a chat.

Her comment wasn't really that bad, but I can see how you would feel hurt by it, as you are feeling a bit down at the moment.

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:32

thank you beetenoire will ring her

didnt mean to sound like a bitch
was having a rant and wanted advice

didnt expect to get slagged when i joined and posted a thread

was looking for and offering extra support to mums

so thanks for all the advice

OP posts:
hercules1 · 12/04/2008 10:36

'slagged' Where?

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 10:40

no i mean by the way i wrote the post!

i think i sud just go back to bed and try again

i think your right im just a bit down and taking everything to heart

and i mean it thanks for all the advice im off to ring her

OP posts:
BetteNoire · 12/04/2008 10:48

Hope it goes well.

lulumama · 12/04/2008 11:02

i cannot understand text speak easily, that is a statement of fact, not judgement

i could not understand the OP without reading it several times

what is judgemental about that?

missyhissey · 12/04/2008 11:40

It's not judgemental Lulumama, not at all.
The OP was difficult to read and it's reasonable to say so.

But it seems that any form of criticism on mumsnet, however mild or slight or warranted, is immediately jumped on as being 'judgemental'

Alambil · 12/04/2008 11:52

"I was out on a girls night out with 5 of my best girl friends tonight. The night was arranged because I've been down and they wanted to cheer me up.

My ds1 (3) has been a bit of a nightmare hurting ds2 (7mts) and throwing screaming fits on a daily basis, so I was having a bit of a moan (3 gf have kids, 2 don't) and 3 joined in with tales about their dc when one without kids said we should not moan, we should thank our lucky stars we have kids when some people can't.

Now don't get me wrong, I know I'm lucky and love my kids to bits but it's her bloody choice not to have any. There is nothing medically wrong with her she just chooses to be with someone who doesn't want kids.

Now, should I just ignore her or as my dh says, ring her in the morning?

P.S. when she got with her partner she knew he didn't want children

P.P.S sorry it's such a long rant but she really p*ed me off"

Now, get ya eyes round that you old farts (JOKE!!!)

Seriously though, maybe you'll get more help now... hope I haven't offended you.

Personally, I think you should apologise for monopolising the conversation and leaving her out - then leave it

Original poster
newmama0 · 12/04/2008 13:37

thank you lewisfan

we didnt leave her out i promise! she asked what was wrong

and when the others joined in she was at the bar and just got the back end of the converstaion

am i doing this right now?

still cant do the smile things!!!!

OP posts:
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