4 moaning about my ds!

[newmama0]

i was out on a girls nite out wiv 5 of my best gf 2nite. the nite was arranged cos ive been down n they wanted to cheer me up. my ds1 (3) has been a bit of a nite mare hurtin ds2 (7mts) n throwin screamin fits on a daily basics so i was havin a bit of a moan (3 gf have kids 2 dont) n 3 joined in wiv tales bout there dc. when one wivout kids said we sud not moan we sud thank our lucky stars we have kids when sum people cant. now dont get me wrong i know im lucky n luv my kids to bits. but its her bloody choice not to have any, there is nothin medically wrong wiv her she just chooses to b wiv sum1 who doesnt want kids. now sud i just ignore her or as my dh says ring her in the morn. ps when she got wiv her partner she knew he didnt want children pps sorry such a long rant but she really p*ed me off

yay ! good stuff!

i would honestly try talking your friend one to one, she might also be having a hard time for different reasons..

to do the smilies, just type [ smile ] but no gaps, etc... the instructions are at the bottom right of each page

brilliant !

we spoke this morning. its all okish (is that a word)

the problem is she doesnt want to be with her dh but is too scared to leave

she thinks she wont meet anyone and is too old to have a baby (38)

and she is thinks my life is perfect!!!! because i have the dh and two ds

i tryed explaining my life isnt perfect i
know im lucky but its far from perfect

oh dear

she must feel terribly resentful then. 38 is old to start again, but not too old by any means.

i guess for someone who has not got children, who wants them and cannot see a way to have children without totally changing her life would be quite jealous of you.

all you can do is be there for her.

im going to dr to get help for PND

ive been so scared of admiting it and been seen as a bad mother

ive been so worried about been judged as a mother ive been putting on a act for everyone

but today is a new day and im not know im not going to win any awards

but i love my boys and do my best and they are happy (most of the time) healthy and know they are loved.

so feel free to judge me!!! Joke

She must act now before it really is to late. She really needs a friend right now, I am glad you phoned her.... and well done wiht the smileys

im going to try and help friend

but im worried im going to feel guilty about my boys whenever i see her

you have nothing to feel guilty for, she made her choice, if it was the wrong one, it is not your fault, you cannot pretend you don;t have your children.

Oh dont be sad new, and dont feel guilty.

i know
i just didnt know how unhappy she was

ive told her today that no more acting

it all goes back to how we all worry about been judged as parents, friends, women etc etc

she told me her heart broke when she held my ds2 (7mts) because thats when she knew she was running out of time

and thats why she has been so mean and nasty to me everytime we spoke.

she said she thought she hated me for the 1st mtn of his life because i had everything she has ever wanted

and thats why to hear us moaning upset her

Poor thing, I do feel for her but as lulu says it was her choice, so you should not feel guilty.

Your GP can help you with PND, you must not keep that to yourself as it can develop and become worse if you don?t get it sorted. Having PND does not make you a bad mother at all, nor does it make you any less of one. Lots of women have it at different stages and to different degrees, so please don?t think negatively about that.

As for moaning about your son, this is human. No matter how much we love our children they will, at some point, annoy us and make us angry (unless you are an alien and have super human powers). The fact that you have some close friends to share this with and get ideas on how to tackle the problem is an asset. And I am sure your friend would see this if her situation was different.

Keep the lines open for your friend, do all you can for her but remember you have needs too and it can not be all one way..