To take dc on holiday by myself?

[SixEggOmellette]

DH has a habit of making plans for the family to go away and then changing his mind at the last minute. This means that DC has never been on holiday, and while I know that not everyone gets to have holidays, it's something we thankfully can afford and that I would like to do.

Again this Summer we discussed various holidays with DH very enthusiastic about making plans and again, DH finds he is now unable to go for dubious reasons. I feel really frustrated, especially as DC has been aware of holiday plans (against my better judgement!) and will be disappointed if things fall through yet again...SO I said I will take DC away on my own. DH now in a sulk and angry that I want to do this.

AIBU?

What are his reasons? What possible reason could there be to prevent you and Dc going just because he can’t? What has he said to explain his weird view?

Your husband sounds horrible who promises children they can go on holiday then changes their mind ! Book something and go

Go! I would. Maybe take a friend or relative??

YANBU in the slightest.

He doesn’t want to go but you do. He doesn’t get to spoil your fun or dictate what you do. What’s his reason for not going and why is he being arsey about you going with DC?

You are definitely absolutely not being unreasonable. He sounds like a dick

What an arse, I would have done this the first time

What reasons is he giving for changing his mind? When you talk about it and agree it, why don't you book it at the time?

I have a DH who struggles with public transport. Therefore, I take the DC away by myself. We just went to Paris for a long weekend and it was fabulous! I'm not going to let DH's anxieties prevent my DC from experiencing the world.

I think you should just do it. I think your DH is then more likely to see the impact of his decisions not to go more clearly, and can either continue to cry off or actually join in.

Book that holiday today!

He is being totally unreasonable. If he can’t go….or doesn’t want to go on the holiday for whatever reason, then the consequence is his. Don’t let him ruin the fun for everyone else.

Tell him you are booking for you and child to go on holiday, last chance if he wants to join you, otherwise you are 100% booking it without him.

Book it! Go have a blast and let him sulk.

What's up with him? what have the reasons been over the years? what do you think the problem is?

Do it. I did it several times when the DC were younger. We had a nice, relaxing beach holiday in U.K. without DH moaning how he hates the seaside. We also went to Ostend and had a few days in Brussels on the way back. So easy and relaxing.

Go for it! How many times has DC been aware of this? It is not ok to let kids down repeatedly with something like this.

Honestly my DH can be a bit similar - will agree to stuff then back out closer to the time. It’s a bit of social anxiety/introversion and a preference to do fuck all when he’s had a long week. So I either just plow on with the plans and expect him to keep up, or arrange stuff for me and DC if I think it’s something he’ll genuinely struggle with.

We rented a small house in Norfolk, stayed in hotels in Ostend and the Isle of Wight, with friends in Brussels. It was so stress free, we spent time on the beach, shopping, a couple of art museums, are out when we wanted or had picky bits or pasta in the house, or ate in restaurants he wouldn’t have approved of.

Do it.

Do you think he’ll come along too now that you’re not dancing to his tune ?

I get the impression that his excuses are crap and not legitimate. Why won’t he go? Did he travel much before dc?

What kind of odd dynamic is this?? He's bizarre.

I absolutely would. What was his reasons?

I take the kids away every summer by myself because DH doesn’t have enough annual leave. He feels a bit sad to miss out but I secretly love going solo. No one else to consider! He would never say we couldn’t go by ourselves. That would be incredibly selfish!

@AFmammaG same as you

I take the children camping a lot on my own. As DH saves his annual leave for a ‘proper’ holiday (which is also usually camping but at a nicer site!😅) or half terms/Easter hols etc.

I don’t want to miss out their childhood because he is restricted more than me. And he gets a quiet week/weekend so it’s win win.

I know this isn’t the same as you but perfectly normal to holiday like this.

Go and enjoy! I take my dc away alone all the time (so does Dh). We have animals so aren’t easily able to go away altogether regularly. It’s lovely. No way I’d sit around at home just because he didn’t want to go.

Go. He's repeatedly done this, and got the kids hopes up and got them excited. He can't go that's on him- take them and enjoy yourselves.

DH now in a sulk and angry that I want to do this.

Fuck around, find out. This is the natural consequence of what he does. Wants to be Lady Bountiful with the planning but not actually do the work. You're happy to do the work, knock yourself out.

Take amazing photos of the wonderful time you're having and send him lots while you're away.

Why would you not go on your own with the DC ?

I often took mine away as I had different holiday patterns. Loved it TBH.

I go multiple times a year without dh! I’ve stopped trying to press him into it. I go with friends and generally let the kids run wild without any pressure on me.
I also say no to stuff I don’t want to do

We did have a family holiday each year, but I also quite often took DS away on my own for a midweek break in school holidays. He was autistic and could be tricky, but overall he seemed to benefit from the 1-1 and having my full attention, and I found it easier being able to concentrate on him and not have another person in the mix.