To move from our idyllic life just to be by the coast?

[CableCar]

So we have a small house in a nice village, nice community, an outstanding school and lovely neighbours/friends. The tricky thing is neither DH nor I have any family close by, or 'ride or die' friends... So although we have what I'd say are friends, there is no one that we have a really deep and strong relationship with. To some extent we just have each other when life gets HARD... Which it does because one of our DC is autistic and it can be exhausting for DH and I.
We all LOVE the freedom of the beach and have this desire to just move to the coast... As we have no significant support here, we can just try and build a similar life for ourselves elsewhere.

I just don't know if we are silly to trade in our somewhat lovely village life and community for the unknown, just to be by the coast? We could have horrible neighbours and the children would have to start from scratch at primary school. It feels like time is ticking if we want to move before secondary... But if we are honest we have barely any support as it is, so why shouldn't we just move to a location that we know will benefit our autistic DS? DC are open to living by the beach as they love it also.

YANBU - just do it, you can build a life for yourselves and will make new friends in time

YABU - the grass isn't greener, stay where you are and enjoy what you have

I wouldn't take the risk, OP. I do get it, I sometimes get this idea too - but if it's good now, why change it?

I think it sounds worth it. Better to go while the kids are in primary than secondary. As long as you could afford the lifestyle you want. I live in a seaside town and love it but it's costs an absolute fortune!

Depends where you are and where you might be going?

North-east coast outside of Newcastle is great. Good and outstanding schools, beautiful scenery and walks, lots to do, friendly, nice housing, very nice small towns/villages. However if you live in Lincolnshire and your family live in Norfolk it's probably too big a hike. And people keep saying the north-east is cold.

We love it, everything about it. Nothing like living next to the sea but also having nice country walks on your doorstep.

Coastal communities can have a lot of hidden deprivation especially out of season.

I grew up in one until I was a teenager and then my parents moved back to somewhere more urban. There was a lot of drugs and alcohol.

I keep in touch with people who stayed - it's still an issue now 30-ish years later.
It's a lovely place and as an adult I wouldn't be averse to going back but it would need to be with a very clear focus...

In your situation I'd be looking very carefully at your employment opportunities, educational opportunities for your DC, what life will look like for them post education - are they likely to go to college/ Uni or will they need supported accommodation/ a job. Do either exist in the are you are considering moving to?

Is there stuff for them to do as they get bigger/ older? In general teenagers don't like building sandcastles on the beach every weekend. Altho' I have very fond memories of my Dad coming home promptly from work and scooping us all up for a beach walk followed by fish and chips in the summer. And I still love a wet and windy coastal walk. But I also have memories of hanging around the churchyard aged 13 with some mates & my then "boyfriend" with a 3litre bottle of cider for company.

Another factor is the local salary: accommodation cost ratio like - or does it appeal to you with "incomer" money but a child who grows up there may struggle to stay?

I think a lot of costal areas are renowned as being some of the most deprived parts of the country. Others, that are popular tourist areas, can become ghost towns in the winter and very depressing to live year round. 'Coast' is a very vague and broad dream. I don't think I'd don't personally, much as I would love to live by the sea.

Can confirm the North East is absolutely baltic right now

We're moving to a seaside town, and have lived there in the past and you're unlikely to use the beach much. We used to go once or twice a year, and now DD lives there she doesn't go often even though it's literally down the hill.

We're not moving because of the beach but because DD and her family live there and I babysit fairly often.

Living and holidaying somewhere can be quite different, particularly in off season. So definitely look into it carefully including practice stays out of season if you haven’t already tried this. When we moved overseas we found it useful to made a list of all the general stuff we also enjoyed such as cinema, arts etc and looked at how this worked in the target destination, as well as how we would visit family in an emergency etc. (obviously depends how remote you are going).

Thanks! We would be moving to Cornwall. DH used to live there untill his family moved inland for work. We would move back to where he lived before, so he knows the area. We are the sort of family who are outdoorsy, with the motto of 'no bad weather, just bad clothing'.

Jobs aren't an issue as DH WFH and I am a SAHM and we are realistic about the weather, seasonality etc... It's purely just the 'why upset the apple cart'... Although they say you tend to regret the things you don't do in life don't they!

😂typical British summer!!!!

Will you be buying or renting? Lots of friends are struggling to find long-term rental properties in south west Cornwall and I get the impression it's like that elsewhere in the county.

Property prices are also extremely high, so depending on where you're moving from, you might not be able to match the quality of your current home.

I grew up by the coast - my parents moved there when I was a baby because of the housing crisis in London - 60+ years ago.
Great growing up - probably until I was mid teens, but who knows could have been a bored teenager anywhere.
Agree with PPs that there is a lot of social deprivation in seaside towns - choose carefully.

I wonder how wise it is to move to Cornwall? We often have people who live there saying how difficult it is in the summer. I also think it can be very hard for incomers.

Cornwall- absolutely not for me. The roads are terrible and the health service is truely appalling one hospital in the whole county - Why ?

So we did this. We left a place we loved, a good school and friends but something began to not feel quite right for us as a family. We moved 15 minutes from the coast with dc9 and dc2. A huge change for all. But for us it worked. Dc loved being by the sea, they have both sailed, kayaked, rowed and created a community. Yes it is busy in summer and quiet in winter and yes they have lived a very different life. But they flourished. Ds now 24 dreams of one day coming back to live. There are few jobs and often poorly paid, the nearest shop is 15 minute drive away and the hospital is bit poor.But we have friends and fresh air and as teenagers they were never bored. Ds17 is always out on the sea or walking. It is a huge decision so make it with enough knowledge, do not be lulled by the good life. For you i would ensure that your dc will have access to the education that will meet their needs.

When I lived by the coast (Brighton) I forgot it was there most of the time!

A friend of mine moved to the Kent coast with her autistic daughter and it was fine when she was at school because there were school busses but she moved back to near London when her daughter turned 18 because there was no provision for her after that.

Not sure what it’s like where you are but the chances are that in Cornwall it will be worse.

Be very careful about the place you choose. There are plenty of larger towns and cities on the coast or with access to beaches and you'll be able to get the support you need for your family. Moving to a tiny village or somewhere really touristy could be expensive and you will struggle to access services, childcare, or a broad choice of subjects for your DC at secondary.

In your case, unless I moved closer to family or 'real' friends, I wouldn't.

Oh the rain the last few days!

Sen provision in Cornwall is desperately stretched. The waiting lists for anything are terrible. No nhs dentists. Long gp lead times.

If you can afford private support and medical cover, you'd be needing to rely on this.

Voice of experience

I don't mind it being cooler up here. I am used to it and am pale skinned, freckly, blonde and any sign of heat is unbearable for me. If it gets to 22 degrees here I think it's semi-tropical.
I don't mind rain but the last two days it hasn't stopped really. Went out in the garden before and I have plants in deep watering containers ready to plant. There is 3-4 inches of water in them and I emptied them on Thursday after the last heavy rain.

I grew up in a city. I have lived on the coast for the past 30 years. Every single time I leave the house I feel like I'm on holiday. I deliberately walk the long way to the shops so I can see the sea. I cycle along the beach path regularly. I feel as though I live in Paradise even though I have never once even dipped my toe in the water in all that time!!!

I don't think the weather warrants it in this country. Better just to visit. Most places in the U.K. aren't that far from the coast to necessitate moving there to access the beach.

We're in a similar position (lovely village community, beautiful area, great nursery, good schools, no family nearby, no 'ride or die' friends nearby...) and have decided to move to the coast next year, only we're going a little further and moving to the Algarve. Some deciding factors for us... we don't want to regret never trying it, we have enough in savings both for the move, and the move back should we decide its not for us, and our daughter is still young enough for it to have little impact.

We did it when our kids were about to start year R, year 4 and year 6 and never looked back. Definitely the right move for us. The sea is now a huge part of our daily life and I never stop feeling grateful for it.