To move from our idyllic life just to be by the coast?

[CableCar]

So we have a small house in a nice village, nice community, an outstanding school and lovely neighbours/friends. The tricky thing is neither DH nor I have any family close by, or 'ride or die' friends... So although we have what I'd say are friends, there is no one that we have a really deep and strong relationship with. To some extent we just have each other when life gets HARD... Which it does because one of our DC is autistic and it can be exhausting for DH and I.
We all LOVE the freedom of the beach and have this desire to just move to the coast... As we have no significant support here, we can just try and build a similar life for ourselves elsewhere.

I just don't know if we are silly to trade in our somewhat lovely village life and community for the unknown, just to be by the coast? We could have horrible neighbours and the children would have to start from scratch at primary school. It feels like time is ticking if we want to move before secondary... But if we are honest we have barely any support as it is, so why shouldn't we just move to a location that we know will benefit our autistic DS? DC are open to living by the beach as they love it also.

YANBU - just do it, you can build a life for yourselves and will make new friends in time

YABU - the grass isn't greener, stay where you are and enjoy what you have

Haha DH would be jealous. He loves the surf on the west coast of the Algarve!! That's amazing... I hope it goes well for you!

I can just imagine us being like this... Thanks for the inspiration! I wonder if we should give it a try, as I feel like we may regret it if we don't...

You need to look at the autism provision in secondaries and specialist schools in your potential area and current area. Don’t move somewhere where there are rubbish prospects and services.

So where are your ride or die friends located now?

I have relocated completely three times in my life for work, once knowing not a soul and then with DH. I’m late fifties now. I have many really nice friends, ride or die ones that can be rung in the middle of the night sort are not the majority of them.

I grew up in a coastal rural community and outsiders were not very welcome, not Cornwall but similar.

If it’s the actual, coast you want fine but the friend thing is tricky wherever you live.

I look at friendship like dating with the kissing frogs analogy, most people are at least ok but you may not want to hang out with them. I belong to a women’s hiking group, great women. Been in it 18 months and I have made a ride or die friend, we just clicked and we have both remarked it feels like we have known each other forever. I met another woman on what was a bit of a challenging hike last week. We clicked but unfortunately this was women from three counties meeting up and her and I live as far apart as possible.

So long as you're aware of what it is like down here, then do it. If you know what it is like to live here in summer vs the rest of the year & you're prepared for that then do it. The schools are struggling, there are NO DENTISTS (literally), no useful public transport away from Truro so you have to be confident driving. The NHS here is among the worst in the country as is trying to get care out of hours or by ambulance - especially in holiday season. The council are abysmal regardless of which colour it is & everything is expensive. Everything.

Provision for kids (& adults) with additional needs is dire - I cannot stress that enough.

BUT, wellbeing is high. Air quality is fantastic & the weather is more stable & warmer than most places in the UK - we don't have the extreme highs & lows & maintain a good level of damp year round ;)

If you think this feeling won't go away, then come down. There's just no point in dwelling on what you didn't do. For me, the downsides of rural coastal cornwall are outweighed by the wellbeing aspects

I think this is how we feel. We aren't ones for buying lots of stuff and like the idea of a more simple life... Where we can focus on our DC and their well-being... Our autistic/adhd DS is in mainstream school - he's doing ok academically, just struggles with the social/emotional side of life and navigating school. All of us having more space to get out of the house and just breathe etc would be welcome... especially as surfing and watersports are a hobby of ours already, so we'd be able to do the things we love and already have all the gear for. That's the draw... Donning a winter wetsuit and getting in the surf on new years day! We've done it before and just being able to do that anytime would be ideal. All we can do where we are atm is walk or cycle around fields or woodland, which is lovely - I love our village - but it's not the same as what the Cornish coast can offer us as a family.

So long as you're aware of what it is like down here, then do it. If you know what it is like to live here in summer vs the rest of the year & you're prepared for that then do it. The schools are struggling, there are NO DENTISTS (literally), no useful public transport away from Truro so you have to be confident driving. The NHS here is among the worst in the country as is trying to get care out of hours or by ambulance - especially in holiday season. The council are abysmal regardless of which colour it is & everything is expensive. Everything.

Can’t say you haven’t been warned, OP!

Aside from this, it seems to make sense for your family. Better to do it now rather than wait for retirement as your needs may be different then.

Is there an option to rent out your home this summer and you rent a home in DH’s old home town, to get a feel for the place?

I know a lot of people who have moved to Cornwall and they all love it, have settled well, socialise, enjoy the sea and coastal walks. It's my idea of hell but if you love it and have history there, it can be very welcoming.

We did in very similar circumstances with primary aged children and no regrets. We go to the beach a few times a week with Ddog. DC loved growing up by sea - beach after school with friends, both strong swimmers and learned to sail. Moved for jobs now … but both love coming back. Now I couldn’t live away from the coast as quality of life is amazing. Go for it and if you need to you can make another change but it might be brilliant for you all and sounds like you love outdoor life.

It's so heartwarming to know this really worked for you!

Haha, one man's junk is another man's treasure! Thanks 😊