To have blocked my disabled mums number?

[Fifteentreefrogs]

I just need moral support tbh..
It is a bit unreasonable obviously and I will be unblocking her in a day or so. I just can't cope with it right now.
There's a whole backstory and I've posted on here before and been told to cut contact. People get frustrated with me constantly posting because I don't cut contact permanently. I just can't do that tho as I'm her only child and only close relative. My dad (her husband and previous carer) is dead.
I'm alone with my 3 children over the weekend.. 2 primary aged and 5mnth old baby. My DH is away all weekend with a friend. He's just lost his grandmother who he lived with as a child. He's just gone for a 2 night break with his mate in the city.
I don't drive. My mum does not live in my town. It's vaguely walkable to her house but it's 5 miles.. I do walk there sometime to help her after the kids are in bed. But obviously can't do that at the moment as DH is away so can't leave kids alone.
My mum has lived there for a while and the issue is she can't drag her wheelchair inside over the step to charge it up. I don't understand why she hasn't bought a ramp. She's managed to get other furniture.
It's a long way for me to go on public transport with all the kids plus the cost.
I've told her I can't do it this weekend. The kids have stuff on too.
I think I'd be more minded to if the last time I'd done it she hadn't been so awful. I went on Friday.. walked over when the kids were in bed and the minute I got there she said 'no one helps me because everyone is horrible'
The back story of the amount I have helped her over the last couple of years I've posted about before. I've helped her to my own detriment. Both physically mentally and financially.
She's been texting all day "answer me now"
The baby was awake all night and is just crying constantly today..
I just snapped and texted back "no" then blocked her.
My DH has already blocked her because she was texting and calling him numerous times about picking up something from B&Q for her only hours after he'd had a bereavement (which she knew about because I told her)

Anyway thanks for listening. I just feel so guilty when I reach the end of my tether like that. I'm not going over there I'm taking the kids to the park. But I will feel guilty and sorry for her the entire time there's no escaping it.
I good percentage of me thinks maybe I am an awful person.

That never works with this mother.

She's managed to order and get delivered and set up.. a sofa.. a smart TV.. a laptop.. a smart phone...bedside tables and a wardrobe. Without any assistance from us whatsoever. Altho I did show her how to set up iplayer.

Oh gosh. Yep, I see it's not a mental block thing. Since your DH helps her with it most days AND she has two other viable options of ramp or lead I think you should back off until adult services come round. Just keep repeating "why haven't you ordered the ramp yet?". Any answer should be met with "It's time, order it today". Good luck.

Posted by someone making excuses for abuse.

Surely the way the OPs mother acts is 'so into themselves and self caring'?

OPs mum is and has been abusing her daughter's kindness for years, with no appreciation.

And families are certainly not always the best people.

@Fifteentreefrogs has a family of her own to care for.

What caring mother would expect her daughter to walk 5 miles there and 5 miles back because she only thinks of herself? Oh, yes. An abuser.

This in spades. ^ @Fifteentreefrogs You need to go No Contact right now. Until further notice. MONTHS if necessary. This can't continue. Who the hell expects a mother of 3, to walk FIVE MILES to their house and then FIVE MILES back?! Continually!

Let social services/adult social care look after your mother! If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that social services/the care system will dump care on any - usually female - family member they can find, no matter what commitments she already has (home/children/pets/job/family/or any health issues of her own etc.)

I have known many a person come out of hospital - and many a person who needs 'care,' and social services will fight tooth and nail to dump that person on the most gullible, soft, pliable, mug of a female who will take them in.

BE STRONG! Keep her blocked. For the sake of your own mental - and physical health.