I’ve never had really a relationship with my husbands parents because they don’t speak English or live in our continent and I don’t have the time or capacity to learn a foreign language. And the few times we have been together he never translates anything so I sit there like I’m watching paint dry.
I have been deeply affected by when I was on maternity leave 9 years ago and they came from overseas to move in with me for 6 months without anyone asking if I was okay with this. We cannot communicate, they made messes in my house (father left urine on my bathroom floor, mother spilled tea on my light computed rug) and I was pumping exclusively for my baby and had to go hide in my room to get privacy. It’s not like they had nowhere to stay, the mom’s sister has a massive suburban home not far from here with 3 furnished uninhabited bedrooms. I was hurt that my husband didn’t stand up for me at that time that this was my time off from work to spend time with my baby and I basically had to hide in my room or make an effort to leave the house cause they were in my house and he was at work all day. As a result of this time and the fights it caused, I have further disliked his family, even the ones that speak English as I felt I had zero support during this time of disagreement with his foreign parents staying in my house.
anyhow fast forward to today, we have a long weekend trip planned away with close friends and a bunch of friends from our kids’ school that we planned a long time ago. Since the foreign MIL is coming he has turned it in to a famjam and invited them all and I sense he’s also funding the entire trip for them. Add in his sister that lives far away wants to come and bring her kid that is significantly younger than my kids to spent quality time with my kids who are on the trip with their friends and want to hang with their friends.
im not saying his family can’t go I’m just internally annoyed that they’re coming and he’s finding it cause they think he’s so wealthy (we aren’t). It’s not a cheap vacation spot either. I am trying to buffer my feelings I can hang with my friends but his sister is gonna ask me to have my kids hang with her kid and the age gap is a lot in terms of a water park and heights and abilities to do activities based on age. We already went to an amusement park with her and her kid recently when they were in town and rides were hard due to different ages and her daughter got tired so easily and became unruly and would push boundaries on me (ie I asked her not to walk with dirty feet on my picnics blanket and she would laugh at me and proceed to purposely dirty my blanket).
how do I respond if the sister reaches out. My kids are going to be with their friends on this trip.