Is this a meal?

[Nothingeverything]

I cook 90% of the time. Today dh was in charge of Sunday lunch. He bought a roast chicken and put it on a plate. He thinks I'm ungrateful because I am pissed off. I always serve vegetables, salad, potatoes or fresh baguettes, never just one item. On Sundays, I usually make a dessert. I'm pissed off because he only "cooks" once a week and does the bare minimum. I want him to cook more but it's always so half-arsed. Aibu?

I am genuinely more interested in the conversations you had around this event than the fact of it.

At what point did you all say "where's the rest"?

How did he explain that there was nothing else?

How were you expected to eat it? Did he slice it, pull it apart, shred it?

What happened then? Surely you didn't all sit down and eat bareback chicken.

Who rustled up some sides? Did you give him any? How did he react?

This is half a story.

He is trying to be so incompetent that you get frustrated and just do it yourself. He is doing it with cooking and laundry, I bet he does it with any domestic chore. I would suggest you stop doing anything domestic for him. Split chores between you and your children but provide nothing for him, if he adds nothing then he gets nothing.

I doubt OP's husband will get his giblets attended to after this.

I am amazed.

Didn't the three teenagers say, "Where's the rest of it, Dad?"

Yep, this is more or less what I was going to post. I can't believe he literally plonked a whole chicken on the plate. What happened next, surely the teenagers moaned. Surely you lost your shit.

Really? He thinks a rotisserie chicken is a meal for five? Just the chicken.

I'd stop cooking for him, he obviously doesn't like or appreciate food. Leave him to alert himself out.

Perhaps they thought their dad was doing dinner so didn't automatically decide to cook?

When you all told him it was unacceptable, what did he say?

I can’t believe he just gave you all a plate of chicken and you all just ate it with eye rolls rather than demand where the rest of dinner was. My primary school children wouldn’t have stood for that and they have food aversions that mean they’d probably only eat the chicken from a roast dinner anyway. Honestly the fact you haven’t lost it with him/just come to Mumsnet is more remarkable than his apparent incompetence to put a meal together…

You learn how to cook from modelled behaviour from your parents. So dad needs to make up for years of showing weaponised incompetence (especially teaching them that ‘the woman will do a better job of making dinner) and make fantastic meals every bloody night from now on.

I dud lose it! Then I came on mumsnet.

How ridiculous of him. A child knows that a meal is a combination of food from the different food groups. Even if they don't think of it thst way, they know that more appears on a plate than meat. He either thinks he's being funny, is pretending to be helpless or is being passive aggressive. I wouldn't entertain any of that if it were me. I'd have prepped some veg for myself and DC and told him he was ridiculous and that I'd not be cooking for him again until he'd produced a proper meal for us.

Exactly this. He then blamed them for not helping but he hadn't asked.

What did he say? Is he currently in the kitchen making an actual meal?

He's being a twat on purpose so that he isn't asked to do it again.

Why does he need help cooking some veg and potatoes? If he wanted to be lazy, you can buy pre cut veg in a bag, mash for the microwave, even Aunt Bessie’s roasties aren’t horrific. It’s piss easy to make a ‘cheat roast’ and still eat well if cooking isn’t your strongest skill (but a roast is bloody easy anyway, that’s why it’s a British staple).

Amen to this!

He isn’t doing this because he would be just happy eating a chicken. Or a slice of ham. If he is he is clearly serious mental impaired.

He is doing this to be a dick. I wouldn’t cook for him at all.

YEP YEP YEP. weaponised incompetence at is finest OP. I’d say he can cook all next week then as he clearly needs the practice

Dump him op, he sounds useless

Weaponised incompetence.

He simple cannot think that was a suitable meal. He’s doing it so you don’t ask again…

So he put down the chicken, and then what happened exactly? You (understandably) lost your shit, he blamed the kids!? What's happening now??

Does he do anything around the house (I note not laundry)?

My DH never cooks but that’s because he’s not interested in food and will eat the bare minimum to survive and he’s also a vegetarian that doesn’t eat much veg. We also never eat out together in a pub or restaurant as he doesn’t like eating in public.

However, I accept that’s his (weird hang up) choice so I don’t cook any meals for him other than he can help himself to any salad dishes that are leftovers. He eats mostly food that doesn’t need much prep so he eats a lot of sandwiches, and will make them for others if asked to, so that’s most lunches taken care of.

I think if your DH doesn’t want to cook on a regular basis, you have to come to an agreement about what he does contribute towards the smooth running of the household.

Simply opting out of the boring daily tasks is not an option and you need to make this very clear to him.

My DH does most of the washing up and laundry duties including hanging out the washing and putting it away afterwards, plus lots of other jobs around the house and garden, so it’s not that he’s a lazy fecker. I wouldn’t tolerate laziness as that’s very disrespectful.

When you cook for everyone, just give him a slice of bread. What is wrong with the daft bastard!

Now? We're watching the tennis but I have just made myself a sandwich. We do have a cleaner which means he thinks there is nothing else left to do! He does wash up.