Are parents just absolutely exhausted all the time?

[Englishrose223]

Might be a stupid question but when I look after my neices (6 and 3) I literally feel like a bus has hit me.

It partially depends on how old you are when you have your children.

I was barely out of my teens with my first and while it was difficult for many reasons, I was nowhere near as tired then (as a single parent, too) as I was in my 30s when I had my second.

That said, as a parent you find your own way of doing things and your own routines, which makes it easier than to look after someone else's kids for a day. You also find ways to give yourself rest breaks during the day rather than having to be full-on in the way you are when people are visiting.

OP @Englishrose223 in your earlier post re: your sister watching you babysit by cctv you said you look after them once a month. Surely you can't be that exhausted after doing it once a month????

It definitely is exhausting but it’s so different with your own. I remember saying something similar to your opening post and my friend saying that the difference with your own children is they ‘feed your soul’ at the same time as the exhaustion so it sort of feels different.
But yes I have 4y and 1y old and I do feel permanently exhausted!

For me, no. But I only have the one so far who is 2yo. He is super chilled, sleeps well at night, and still naps 1.5 hrs giving me time to recharge.
When I have two kids, one that’s no longer napping, I’m sure it’ll be a very different situation!

What tires me out is walking the school run and then the numerous toddler groups and then the playground after school. Thank god I don't work full time.

Nope. The parents will have a routine and structure to the day - hopefully. I was initially but now I have breaks and time to myself.
When I looked after younger family members in was exhausted as I didn't have a routine it was a one off so not needed aaaaand children tend to take advantage and really wear you out.

@Libre2 Same! My eldest DS is 8 and has recently been diagnosed with type 1, it’s like having a newborn again!

I am always tired. Though it was because of the diabetes and my DD disabilities but seemingly it’s all of us! 😂 Mine are 8 and two 6 year olds.

Yep. Absolutely exhausted, but also absolutely delighted at the little person I have in my life!

It's tiring, but also easier when you're used to it and know what you're doing.

Yep! Although once they’re not babies and toddlers any more, if you don’t work you’re probably not as tired. Mine are all at school now so I’m beyond the multiple night wake up stage but it’s the constant juggle of school, (my) work, activities / clubs, homework, school events, play dates, parties, trying to fit in seeing family and friends that is exhausting. The mental load means your brain never stops whirring and stressing you’ve forgotten something important. I get up so early most days and dream of a lie in.

But surely the relentless nature of it all? One if them always needs something and the endless cooking cleaning, getting them to places

At 9 and 6? (As per the poster you quoted) no don't be daft. It's not relentless at those ages. They sleep, they get themselves snacks and drinks, can entertain themselves, you're well past the relentless stage at that age.

I sleep fine 🤣

Honestly, there's no point, because the blood test wait in my city is around 8 weeks. So it will be much quicker for the midwife to do it in my routine appointment in 3 weeks time!

We have chosen to have one child and she’s now 5, so I am not completely exhausted but yes, it is tiring! Especially with work, other family responsibilities etc

There is always those that will be more tiring for, such as those with disabilities, a parents own health and wellbeing, how many children you have etc.

I just want to offer some more positive especially with age. I'm 37 with a 2 year old and work full time. I feel more energetic than I did at 20. I have a better diet and get much more fresh air and am more active than I was. I completely get it isn't this way for everyone though.

I feel more energetic than I did at 20. I have a better diet and get much more fresh air and am more active than I was.

Really? Surely the beauty of being 20 is that you can live off Doritos, dance and drink until 6am, live in your bedroom and still have the energy of Duracell bunny! It's only as I got older that my body was more reliant on being healthy to perform well.

Yes, very much so. It's not just the sleep deprivation, it's the always being 'on' that I find exhausting.

Yes really. I didn't have the energy of a duracell bunny and remember feeling sluggish and tired. I definitely feel better now. I know it isn't the same for everyone but I just wanted to counteract some of the statements about getting older.

I know it isn't the same for everyone but I just wanted to counteract some of the statements about getting older.

Why?

Personally I think looking after other peoples kids is much more draining than looking after your own! With your own, you have all their stuff right there to hand, you know their habits and routines, their likes and dislikes, your routine etc. I only have one child (altho I am pregnant with my second) and I’m not tired all the time. Sometimes, if we’ve had a particularly busy day or if we’ve had a bad night for whatever reason but not all the time. And my boy is certainly not a sedate child 😂

You are very fortunate, not to be taken for granted! I am glad all has worked well for you, BW

They could test your urine rather than your blood which could show up things like pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes or various infections.

Spot on