Are ‘night-before-the-wedding’ gifts a thing?

[vercd]

I’m bridesmaid for my cousin and her friend is maid of honour. I met the friend for the first time at the hen do and quickly realised she was the domineering personality type but overall the weekend was enjoyable and went smoothly. Now she is planning a surprise night before the wedding celebration with bridesmaids and close friends.

She has requested we all purchase something off a list she has made with links to each item (it has candles, perfume, chocolates, wine, cosmetics, pyjamas and other items which are between £20-£40 each). She’s asked us to wrap the gifts in pink paper, bring them to her when we arrive and she will give them to my cousin on behalf of us all. She also wants £10 each to cover nibbles and drinks for the group that evening.

Unless my cousin acts differently with her friendship group this doesn’t seem like something she would want. I wasn’t planning on buying gifts for her as we all paid for the hen and I will of course get a wedding gift for her.

I didn’t realise gift giving before the wedding was a thing. I haven’t replied yet and I don’t know how to navigate this! Wwyd?

I was intrigued by this response.

How much would you prefer to spend on night-before-the-wedding-gifts, if it's the cheapness that offends you? I don't think £20 is especially cheap for a box of chocolates myself.....

Back to the point, OP this woman sounds pretty fucking controlling, insisting on you buying specific things, wrapping them in specific paper etc. She can fuck right off with that!

Go if you want to but don't feel obliged to take a gift. If your cousin is a nice, sane woman she won't expect one....

op as annoying as it [is] just purchase your 20 gift and pay the 10 pound for food and drink. If the gift options are too expensive just speak up and say you'll get your equivalent gift at what you can afford.

Why, @Tablesalt111? Why does this MOH get to male demands on the others?

I would contact the bride, maybe ask a question about timings on the day then drop in a question asking what her plans are for the evening before. You should be able to lead the conversation to find out if a gathering of friends would be welcomed or not.