About DD driving after a drink

[fresherprincess]

Quick one as I'm wondering if I'm going mad.

DD is 18 and passed her test a month ago. Today her and her friend worked a hospitality gig and came back here. Friend was supposed to stay the night. They got back at 7 pm, put pizzas in the oven and each drank a single can of pimms (250ml, 5.4% volume). Drinks were finished by 7.45. Best comparison in terms of alcohol I can find is half a pint of beer.

5 mins ago (so 4 hours after the drink) her friends mum called- emergency, sister very sick, mum off to A&E, could DDs friend come home and watch younger siblings.

We're not on public transport and taxis/ Ubers not a thing without prebooking so DD looked at 3 online blood alcohol calculators, put in her weight etc and they all said she'd have zero alcohol left in her body.
She drove her friend home and us staying with her friend.

DH is furious. We are both super cautious with drinking and driving- neither of us drink at all if we're driving- not even a single drink hours before. This is what we've always told DD. He said we're showing DD it's ok to have one and drive and it's a slippery slope. I say- it was 4 hours ago, it's an emergency, she was very responsible about checking her blood alcohol and what did he suggest?

Now I'm wondering if I was being unreasonable. The never drinking if driving at all is a very hard and fast rule we both have but at the time I thought it was ok...

No that sounds fine.

I mean your rule is fine if you like to be ultra cautious. But in an emergency, calculating that you've metabolised the single drink you had four hours ago and setting off is absolutely fine. She sounds very responsible.

Your DH needs to accept she's an adult. It's a bit old for needless "slippery slope" rhetoric.

It’s fine. It’s just over 1 unit of alcohol which would be metabolised on average in a bit over an hour. Legally she could probably drink straight after necking the can. In an emergency you don’t need to be so rigid about your rules if you are not breaking The Rules.

Sorry. Complete overuse of "fine" there. Time for bed.

Same rule in our house.
It's a good one.
I would support your husband in this.
She is a very inexperienced driver, I would speak to her and spell out the importance of sticking to the rule.
It's the safest way with zero chance of mistakes being made.

Your DH is being VU and ignoring basic facts. Your dd was fine to drive and did the right thing.

Honestly I'm more worried about her driving in the dark with an upset friend. I had a word with her friend before they set off and asked her not to distract DD or take phone calls.
DD has just called and she's there safely.

DH is happier now he knows she's safe. We've had a chat and I've said that DD was really responsible, is a sensible girl and took all necessary precautions.

DD is clear she wouldn't have driven with any score above "zero" so we've done our job.

Friend was very distressed and friend's mum wasn't helping calling hysterical from the ambulance. There was an 8 year old and a 10 year old back at the house.

DH and I were ironically both over the limit having shared a bottle of wine.

I appreciate the "fines". Made me feel better 😀

It is fine 😂
You are right to keep on the mantra with this though.
Good to know your girl is safe and her friends siblings are being looked after.
x

Yeah, she's fine to drive. 4 hours after one not very strong drink? There would be absolutely nothing in her system. Like you say, other factors likely more of a distraction.

Why didn't he drive her friend home if he was that concerned?

Either way I think your DD sounds very sensible.

I think your DD acted very responsibly in a crisis. You should both be proud of her, not wasting time completely over reacting. You appear to have done a good job teaching her to respect alcohol, careful you dont undo it.

Glad to hear it's all okay.

I don’t drink at all if I am driving. Given your daughter’s age and inexperience, it’s not ideal but she is an adult and will make her own choices.

We bought a digital breathalyser for our DC to check the morning after the night before. It was about £20. Brilliant investment. Sometimes it has shown up as above the limit so one of us driv3s them to work. It's a pain but it's not worth taking the risk

@SwanRivers Have you read the posts? Her father had had half a bottle of wine himself,that’s why.

Driving 4 hours after one small drink is not drink driving. Your DH is being ridiculous.

I think it's fine. I had one drink at a party which was a spirit and mixer so similar and drove home maybe 4-5hrs later
Was actually stopped by the police (insurance hadn't changed my car registration even though I had told them..) and breathalysed (they said it was policy)
Blew zero

You're DD was very responsible and reasonable, she checked, she made sure, then she took her friend home because it was an emergency. You can't plan for everything in life, your DH is being really unreasonable about this. I never ever drive if I've had a single drink, but if an emergency situation happens and I know my BAC wouldn't be over Id drive.

DD looked at 3 online blood alcohol calculators, put in her weight etc and they all said she'd have zero alcohol left in her body.

Good kid. You should be proud.

It was an emergency, she didn't choose to drive but it was necessary. Your husband should wind his neck in, what did he suggest as alternative?

So, you were freaking out that 4 hours after a small volume low alcohol drink your DD would have had a blood alcohol content? Even a really slight small girl would have none at that point in the scenario you describe. I’m all for zero alcohol blood content with young and/or inexperienced drivers but surely it would be obvious there would be none in that scenario. Where I live we have a zero blood alcohol content law for drivers in Learner or Provisional (first couple of years after passing driving test) plates before they move onto standard plates where you can then go to 0.05, but again if people are inexperienced drivers at that point I’d encourage zero, but think people would have a basic knowledge how blood content works vs rushing to calculators 4 hours after a small low alcohol drink.

Your daughter did the right thing. You should be proud of her. you're husband is over the top.

However, if she has friends around she must be responsible to drop then home incase of emergency. Therefore drink responsible when any friend visits unless they have their own mode of transport.

Your DH is being ridiculous it’s absolutely fine she’d have no alcohol in her system by that point.

I lived outside London for a bit - occasionally I'd come back in, have a meal with a small glass of wine, go the the theatre, hour on the train home, then drive from the station.
Logically, I knew I wasn't over the limit - but the bloody deer would always choose those nights to come out and dance in the windy road that cut through the forest.

I think your daughter sounds responsible and I would have done the same in her shoes if there was a need to get a friend home in an emergency.
If your DH was overly concerned about her driving, could he have not driven them? Or yourself?