About DD driving after a drink

[fresherprincess]

Quick one as I'm wondering if I'm going mad.

DD is 18 and passed her test a month ago. Today her and her friend worked a hospitality gig and came back here. Friend was supposed to stay the night. They got back at 7 pm, put pizzas in the oven and each drank a single can of pimms (250ml, 5.4% volume). Drinks were finished by 7.45. Best comparison in terms of alcohol I can find is half a pint of beer.

5 mins ago (so 4 hours after the drink) her friends mum called- emergency, sister very sick, mum off to A&E, could DDs friend come home and watch younger siblings.

We're not on public transport and taxis/ Ubers not a thing without prebooking so DD looked at 3 online blood alcohol calculators, put in her weight etc and they all said she'd have zero alcohol left in her body.
She drove her friend home and us staying with her friend.

DH is furious. We are both super cautious with drinking and driving- neither of us drink at all if we're driving- not even a single drink hours before. This is what we've always told DD. He said we're showing DD it's ok to have one and drive and it's a slippery slope. I say- it was 4 hours ago, it's an emergency, she was very responsible about checking her blood alcohol and what did he suggest?

Now I'm wondering if I was being unreasonable. The never drinking if driving at all is a very hard and fast rule we both have but at the time I thought it was ok...

Dh is being irrational. If it's a one off I'd ignore it. Is it part of a context of silliness? I mean, what would be OK? How long would she have had to wait?!

I'm a no drinking at all before driving person, though I know lots that think one glass of wine is fine (I'm not one of them).

HOWEVER. After four hours, and in those exact circumstances? I'd say she did the right thing.

Your DH is totally unreasonable. What was the alternative given the emergency?

Those Pimms cans contain just over a unit of alcohol, they are so weak even if it it was 2 units, 4 hours is more than enough time for BAC to be zero.

Being cautious is fine, being ultra cautious to be so impractical and inflexible in an emergency situation is unhelpful. Does your husband understand how alcohol is metabolised because I don’t see why your husband is furious. Massive over reaction.

Its good to be cautious.
But at least use science.

Her body won't metabolise alcohol differently just because she's a new driver.

Her biggest risk factor here would be tiredness. Not alcohol!

I'm extremely cautious about drink driving (have my own breathalyser) but she was fine

It’s normal to be worried and overprotective when your DC start driving, but he’s being ridiculous.

I personally don't drink and drive at all, but I wouldn't have an issue with this situation. One relatively low strength drink four hours before with food is fine to drive, especially in an emergency. Even more so when it’s midnight so she’s probably not even going to meet many other cars and she’s only driving one way.

This is what we've always told DD. He said we're showing DD it's ok to have one and drive and it's a slippery slope. I say- it was 4 hours ago
The timing is what's important. She didn't "have one and drive", she had a drink earlier in the day, entirely processed it, carried on with her day and drove. She effectively hadn't had a drink by then.

She sounds very sensible and far better at understanding the science and some nuance than your husband.

He said we're showing DD it's ok to have one and drive

I don't really understand this - it was hours later. What is his time limit for it being ok? Is he someone who thinks that it's only ok if you've slept?

Far better for your DD to know how to look at it carefully and rationally, than be someone who assumes she's fine after a night's sleep when she's actually still over the limit.

She didn't drink and drive. There was no alcohol in her system so she didn't drink and drive. Your DH doesn't believe in exercising caution. He believes in trying to coerce people into adhering to his random, irrational rules.

I am hyper cautious about drinking and driving - I once taxied a forgotten item up to my ex’s house for the kids because I’d had one beer within the hour. But this reads like she has been fully responsible. How long is realistic to wait after one drink?

People who drink drive are the absolute worst. There's a special place in hell for them and I feel really strongly about it. BUT the tiniest drink and four hours having passed is not even an issue. It won't be in her system and it won't cause any response delays/clouding etc etc. she could have driven home straight after and been fine.

Your husband is ridiculous here.

We don't have this knowledge. We never drink any alcohol around cars or if driving. Tbh we're not big drinkers anyway so it never came up - I treating to know now but assuming people know this stuff is strange.

That's what I thought. The dark, being tired, new driver, stressed friend in the car. Tbh the pimms wasn't even a factor for me until she said she'd checked and DH got cross.

He's calmed down now. Someone upthread suggested asking him what his preferred solution would have been and he had nothing.

I think it was just his fear that she'd start pushing it - we live rurally and frankly teens drink driving because of the lack of transport and cabs is a big problem and he worries she'd start having "just one" and injure herself and others. Even being under the limit after one drink isn't acceptable in our opinion, especially for new drivers.

That's what Google is for

At 18 and only been driving for a month that would be a hell no from me.

Your DH is an idiot

Four hours after the equivalent of half a pint is totally fine.

The fact your daughter went on a bunch of different websites to check shows she's intelligent, sensible, and cautious/aware of the law and you should both be very proud of her. Rather than DH moan.

Unless there is an actual reason from past experiences to suspect this will be a 'slippery slope' to her drink driving I think you can be fairly sure it will not.

The old rule used to be one hour per unit and add an extra hour to be safe. I took that from after I finished drinking rather than before I started the first drink.

So one unit of drink consumed between 7pm and 7.45pm add one hour per unit plus one hour extra, and you can drive at 9.45pm.

Two units from 7pm-7.45pm add two hours for the two units plus one extra hour, and you can drive at 10.45pm

My friends thought I was over cautious. But I was just wanting to keep my license! Nowadays online calculators are better.

If DH was or his mates or family were alcoholics it could be this has been triggering for him. But he shouldn't take it out on your sensible daughter.

Try the Morning after calculator online. You input type of drink and how many. I calculated 2.5 hours for a can of Pimms. I input it as an alco pop so may not be correct.

It was an emergency and there's no way she could have been over the limit.

Your DH is overreacting. Very much overreacting.

Eh? Why are you making such a drama?

It's not good to be cautious. Cautious, or overly cautious is not good.

I'm pretty sure that 4 hours after one can of Pimms she would be absolutely fine to drive. I'm pretty careful but I'd do that and wouldn't be worried about my young adult doing it either.