Family help with kids

[Cinocino]

I know I am being unreasonable, but when does it get easier having young kids with no help??

I know my kids are my responsibility blahh I get that, I really do. I’m not expecting weekly or regular childcare but every now and then you just realise how shit it is when you can’t really go on a date because your kids are too young to be comfortable with a stranger babysitter and you need to pick between who attends a close friend’s wedding because you don’t have anyone who could have your kids overnight.

It just seems like everyone I know around me have lots of family on hand to mind their kids for the night, look after them in the day and then phone to say “why don’t I just do dinner and bed for them here and drop then home in the morning?” Even having them while the couple go on holiday!

How do you navigate things if you have no ‘help’?
Date nights? Weddings? Just not feeling burned out?
Or do I just need to be told to get over myself?!

Kids are 3 and 1 but to be honest I don’t really see how it gets better with age!

@Mary46 I thought this re school age but then I’m working when they are in school so it isn’t easier for us tbh.

Family can often be the least reliable source of help, whether that is with childcare or elderly care (my mum and I found that out when my gran was dying). You outsource! We have my mum who helps willingly but our kids go to FT nursery/now school and we pay a babysitter who tbh I would rather leave the kids with than other family members. Sharing DNA doesn't make someone responsible.

I almost find it trickier now they're older as they go to bed/sleep later so we can't put them to bed and then have dinner together or something.

@Danascully2 100 percent . I also unbelievably found a holiday hard recently as there is no downtime now like a nap and they were up until 11 every night , totally exhausting. And cartoon time was easier before , now they don’t want to watch the same thing, I don’t have three nintendo switches etc etc . Struggling a bit at this age and thought it would be the easiest in all honesty .

We get a babysitter, it's expensive so we don't go out often but it is what it is. And our kids are similar ages.

All our babysitters are currently working in nurseries (other than ours) or used to work at the kids nursery and we got their numbers when they left.

the babysitter is only a stranger for the first few times, then they become part of the family..

As they get older don't be afraid to ask if anyone would do paid babysitting. I'm my DD's childcare and I'd happily help out another parent, but I've also been paid to do so. I've often wanted to offer to drop children home for parents who wfh and whose house we pass, but I'm scared of sounding like a weirdo. When mine were young I'd always have a house full and our days out would be me with at least seven children.

Pay for a babysitter. Trade babysitting with friends - put yourself out there and ask, or be the first to offer! There's not really much else to be done.

What is the going rate for a babysitter? Some of our nursery staff offer it but I'm reluctant to ask incase the cost is prohibitive.