My period turns me into a nasty person

[Candygrapes]

DH had some bad news yesterday and instead of being the person that I usually am I completed switched and said some very nasty things.

I have apologised now but it’s every single month I’m absolutely sick of it. I feel like I’m always dreading my period as I know I’m going to change and I try to control it but it always seems to seep through.

I appreciate it’s only for a few days but then it’s the build up to my period where I’m anxious and then i turn nasty I dread it every single month.

Anyone else have an experience like this?

In my experience this comes from a build up of things unsaid/resentment from the rest of the time. When I’m premenstrual everything is very raw, I feel things more acutely, am much less able to deal with other peoples needs and demands when usually I would be able to tolerate it. The filter comes off a bit. Is there tension around certain issues that you are brushing under the carpet or not addressing the rest of the month? Are you putting others before yourself too much and inadvertently building up resentment? Maybe you feel annoyed at your husbands need for you to support him with his bad news, if you feel generally unsupported by him? I know you feel it’s not you when you’re like this, but the feelings are coming from somewhere, just amplified and unfiltered.

PMT is normal and doesn’t require medication.

PMDD is a medical condition and in lots of cases responds well to medication.

If the OP feels that her hormones are affecting her life then I would gently suggest it is the latter option than the first.

It's a bit woo, but I'll tell you what helped me:
Marmite. I did not make the connection for ages, but I now know it was the B vitamin. So you could probably do better these days than shovelling down the marmite on toast!
Try the Bach rescue remedy lozenges, which contain B vitamins, and if you are susceptible, as I am, it makes you very laid back.

It's not my periods, but is my hormones...got told yesterday that I probably have PMDD I've hit 50, never had PMT when younger, but the journey from early 40's to now has seen a variety of different negative medical issues head my way.

What OP is describing doesn’t really sound like a little spot of PMT. Let’s not continue to minimise women’s issues 🙂

I used to have PMT really, really bad when I was in my 30’s, I was even offered a hysterectomy 😲

one of the gynaecologists suggested trying Angus Castus, this was a life saver for me, it makes such a difference, back to my old self again. We even had a horse that was an utter bitch every month when she was in season, so we put her on it, again such a difference. She stopped trying to kills and squirting at the geldings in the adjoining field, disgusting mare 🤮.

Give it a try, there’s nothing to lose. Also, I had to stop taking the pill as this made me worse. Fast forward menopause and the introduction of progesterone with my estrogen patch and I now realise that I’m intolerant to the progesterone, I am such a psychotic evil emotional bitch. I’ve got around this by only taking progesterone once every 3 months with Tridestra HRT, magical. No wonder women were carted off to Bedlam many years ago, we have so much to deal with hormonal.

I was so proud of my husband the other week. Whilst out with friends one of the ladies was having a hot flush and I loaned her my fan. My husband stuck up for women after one of the guys was sarcastic, by saying how much we have to put up with, having periods and mood changes, then having to contend with menopause, having fluctuating weight due to fluid retention and having larger clothes to cope with those moments in the month. He sympathised with how challenging it is for us, something men don’t have to deal with and that it’s horrendous and doesn’t know how we cope with it. Such a lovely understanding husband and father to a daughter that had so many challenges gynaecologically that she had a hysterectomy at 27, so, so proud of him 🤗

@ShillyShallySherbet - no, not remotely OTT.

OP admits her PMS is so severe that she becomes abusive to her husband every month. She has a duty to get some help and find some medication that makes her better.

Feeling and behaving this way on a regular basis is very much not normal.

ShillyShallySherbet · Today 11:16
I think PMT is pretty normal and doesn’t require medication

In some cases it very much does require medication. in my day it was Dr Katharina Dalton who made a study of this. I think her work is still available, though I don't know if it has aged well.
It can range from being a bit snappy to absolute rage, which affects the person's life, and the life of those around her.

I have found ashwaghanda and rhodeola a huge help.

I used to go through the same thing every single month and just be raging a few days before my period. I started taking Magnesium and it’s been a game changer. Highly recommend!

OP is worried about it and asking for help. Is that OK with you!?

Very normal. Even a small rise in estrogen and progesterone makes us go wild. My DH has my period tracker on his phone so he know when to come home with bananas and chocolate and when I basically turn mental.

It's really not normal.

Common, yes, but not something we should just expect or put up every month for forty odd years.

There is help and medication out there to make severe PMS much more bearable.

Please go to your GP, and to the other women on the thread that have mentioned being in their 40s. It's perimenopause if it never happened before, and it's perimenopause if it's getting worse. Women don't have to put up with this.

Me too

What a difference it has made

Highly recommend

I get this but honestly it's not on to take it out on other people. I say that kindly as the daughter of a mum who never recognised she was perimenopausal.

I've been taking evening primrose oil for the rage and also recently started citalopram an anti depressant as I got so fed up with it. I tried progesterone only pill and I did feel calm but too calm and it made my skin dry and feel much older than it is which was counter productive. I also couldn't stop eating.

Mag glyc, b vitamin and zinc also help. I carb load for a couple of days when I am due too, it drops off when I come on, but makes me less grumpy.

The other thing that helps a lot is lifting heavy weights. I was doing that last year and it definitely helped my hormones. Also more sleep. Tracking moods helps too as it does help a little to remember that each month it will pass - the more you can then ignore it. Slow progress though.

Hormonal shifts alter how we feel, but they di not govern what we say and do. WE are responsible for our actions, even when we're struggling.

Exactly, I felt like O.P in my 20's, I knew when I felt like that and kept my trap shut until I felt better.

It happens every month, you know its' coming, you know what you get like, therefore you adjust until you get it sorted.

No?! Why should we suffer when there is medication that can make us feel normal?

Because medication is for severe cases only, when it interferes with your day to day life consistently or when you become danger to yourself and society. OP's not dangerous, she's just nappy.

All medications, especially synthetic hormones, come with side effects. And hormonal side effects are real nasty shit. So It is fair enough hat NSH doesn't prescribe these so commonly. If they did, we would have massive issues with infertility and weight gain (more than we do already) and EODs.

Yes, I'm like this OP. The Pill made me even worse (which I didn't realise until I stopped and restarted it after ten years on it) and the coil made me suicidal. Some of us are just extremely, annoyingly sensitive to hormone stuff.

What helps now is tracking my period on an app, so I can see when I'm approaching Danger Areas, then making sure I cut out extra sugars and do more cardio/weights exercise then, especially running. Getting my blood pumping in my own outdoor space with whatever I want blasting in my ears is such a game changer and turns my planet-destroying rage into some of my running PBs.

This was me.. l had PMDD from starting my periods.
I was okay when younger.. but when l hit age of 18/19 my gosh l was awful.
Especially to my BF/ eventually husband .
I once pulled a fridge door off and threw the contents all over the floor..( all because he didn't put things where l wanted them). I hit him over head with a frying pan.. just because l broke a fried egg.
I threw the microwave on the floor..
All this while screaming..
I could go on.
He was calm and in the end took me to the GP.
Turns out l also had PCOS and Endometriosis.
Was given medication.
In Victorian days women used to be sectioned for this.They were diagnosed with suffering from hysteria.
Please seek help via your GP.
I wish you all the best.

Because medication is for severe cases only, when it interferes with your day to day life consistently or when you become danger to yourself and society. OP's not dangerous, she's just nappy.

Oh, those are the 'rules' according to you, are they?

The OP is becoming abusive to her husband, stop trying to minimise it.

I'm on HRT due to hot sweats and foggy memory. Neither of those things are dangerous to me.

Should I inform my GP she's doing it wrong?

I get the same, it's horrible, but a small part of me is scared that this is actually my window of clarity and it's the rest of the month I stupidly put up with all the shit like a complete mug. Who knows?

I used to yes . Some months were worse than others . Going through the menopause and coming out the other end had made me realise that PMT ruined a lot of my life . If I knew how i would feel without going through PMT every month I would have asked for a hysterectomy after completing my family. I'm not suggesting you do this btw . It did get better after I had my first child . Maybe take the pill without a break , no period , no PMT . It's worth a try .