To feel embarrassed/mixed feelings about audience behaviour at comedy show?

[ComingUpTrumps]

Was out tonight with my family watching a comedy show in a fairly small theatre and two women, in the row behind us, were screaming with laughter after each joke.

There was a lot of laughter from the audience throughout the show, as you’d expect, but theirs was by far the loudest and it felt a bit disruptive.

I didn’t say anything about it, but one of my family members got quite irritated by it, so they decided to say something about it to the women. I found out at the end of the show that the family member had told the women to ‘shut up’, as one of the women came to us afterwards and said: ‘did you just tell us to shut up our laughter?’

I’ve got lots of mixed feelings about this (even though it’s a really small thing in the grand scheme of things).

On the one hand, I think it was a bit antisocial for the women to laugh so loudly. They were almost screaming with laughter, way louder than anyone else in the theatre, and it felt quite performative - almost as if they weee trying to prove what a good time they were having.

On the other hand, they’re free to enjoy the comedy as they wish and I wish my family member hadn’t told them to shut up - she’s normally very kind and polite, so this is quite out of character for her.

Thanks all.

While it can be massively irritating being around someone like that, in the context of laughing when everyone else was....it seems pretty normal.

YABU

If you buy tickets to a comedy show, it's pretty likely people will be laughing.
We all laugh differently. Complaining about someone's laugh is just ridiculous.

You should be very embarrassed about your family member's rudeness, and be having a word with them.

Very rude of your family member to tell them to shut up.

Fair enough if they were disrupting the show, but it doesn’t seem like they were.

Your family member could have just left them to embarrass themselves with their jarring laughter but instead they embarrassed your group by turning and telling strangers to shut up. Really crass behaviour to be honest.

I wouldn't have said anything but I also have no time for attention seeking behavior like this. I'd have rolled my eyes hard.

I agree with PP. It's not on to tell a stranger to shut up, even more crass to publicly chastise someone for laughing "performatively", in your opinion, at a comedy show!

Was anyone else the audience head turning to them at every laugh? I doubt they were disrupting everyone.

I think it's rude to just tell them to shut up.

You can't tell people to laugh more quietly at a comedy show.

You can't dictate to audience members the volume of their laugh.

The laughter police at a comedy show, whatever next?

Thanks all for your thoughts. I agree with you that of course you can’t tell off other audience members for laughing at a comedy show. I think my relative was feeling a bit irritated and took it out on those audience members, which I know is not on.

Can't laugh at comedy shows, can't dance at concerts.

Jeez

Urgh. I think your family member was incredibly rude. You do have a naturally loud and awful cackle though so perhaps I am sensitive . I have been accused of performative laughter in the past and it hurt. It made me feel small, embarrassed and I have ever since been very conscious never to laugh in public. I hope the ladies your family member tried to shame have thicker skin than me, because it's been over a decade and I have never been able to shake the feeling of shame should I laugh accidentally in public.

• I do have not you!

People like your family member would do better enjoying things on TV in the comfort and solitude of their own home. Go out in public and you'll encounter the public. The public do all sorts of things we might as individuals prefer they didn't. Provided these fall within the broad remit of context acceptable, you have to put up with it. I'm not a fan of those who refer to women being noisy as 'screeching'. We can't help having higher pitched voices than men and its not fair to expect us to be particularly quiet and restrained because we don't 'bellow' or 'guffaw' which seems to be more socially tolerated.

was it a male family member?

Sorry but your OP made me laugh so loudly that a random woman banged on my window and told me to shut up.

The thing is that people invest a lot in shows like this (It's comedy! I've paid! I expect to laugh!) and therefore the reaction can be a bit over the top, like cheering wildly at the end of a performance that's only average. So I DO think there can be an element of performance - to convince yourself and others that you're having the best time you possibly could.So YANBU there. Your relative must've been seriously pissed off to confront them like that. I would have found it disruptive. And yes, a bit of a gentler approach would've been less rude but would likely have zero effect as well.
Did it work? Sounds as if it was said in the heat of the moment and they ignored it at the time.

‘Performative laughter trying to prove they were having a good time’ 🙄 I’ve heard it all now! They were at a comedy show, so it’s safe to assume it was their natural laugh and they WERE having a good time, unlike you lot judging them. I know which person I would prefer to be in this scenario. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 - performative emojis just for you OP.

I went to a comedy show last month and there was this group of women, who laughed really really insanely loud all of the time. They might have had too much alcohol . Lots of people rolled their eyes at them and were irritated. I think it was disruptive.

But just tell them to “shut up” is rude. The women in my case weren’t seated near me, so i couldn’t say anything. But if they were next to me i’d say something like “I’m sorry, but is it possible for you to keep the volume down a bit because my ears are ringing?”

While I think it was ott and not great to tell them to shut up I’ve sat through comedy with people screeching laughing, even at things that weren’t that funny and it’s terrible. And there’s times you’ll find either they’re really drunk or trying to get noticed by either the comedian or to get attention

No standing, no laughing.

What will they come for next?!

Most comedians will pick up on someone in the crowd laughing like that and make them feel self conscious enough to tone it down. Who was the comedian?

I’ve been to a show recently where this happened to me. The women behind me were very OTT in their hysterical laughter, literally as though they were trying to get everyones attention, it was actually a bit weird. It was annoying, but, everyone is different so I just tried to block it out 🤷‍♀️ No way would I say anything.

I do understand where you are coming from. I was at a concert recently and the person behind me joined in with every song, very loudly, very off key and got most of the words wrong.

I ended up putting my coat on so I could put my hood up to try to drown out the cacophony behind me and concentrate on what was going on in front of me.

But I didn't ask her to be quiet, so I think your family member was in the wrong.