To feel embarrassed/mixed feelings about audience behaviour at comedy show?

[ComingUpTrumps]

Was out tonight with my family watching a comedy show in a fairly small theatre and two women, in the row behind us, were screaming with laughter after each joke.

There was a lot of laughter from the audience throughout the show, as you’d expect, but theirs was by far the loudest and it felt a bit disruptive.

I didn’t say anything about it, but one of my family members got quite irritated by it, so they decided to say something about it to the women. I found out at the end of the show that the family member had told the women to ‘shut up’, as one of the women came to us afterwards and said: ‘did you just tell us to shut up our laughter?’

I’ve got lots of mixed feelings about this (even though it’s a really small thing in the grand scheme of things).

On the one hand, I think it was a bit antisocial for the women to laugh so loudly. They were almost screaming with laughter, way louder than anyone else in the theatre, and it felt quite performative - almost as if they weee trying to prove what a good time they were having.

On the other hand, they’re free to enjoy the comedy as they wish and I wish my family member hadn’t told them to shut up - she’s normally very kind and polite, so this is quite out of character for her.

Thanks all.

They were probably Mumsnetters, 'howling, roaring, crying' etc.

Did you notice any tea being spat at the back of your head? 😁

I don't know, hotel breakfast this morning, there was a mixed group on the next table and one there was literally bellowing laughter from the men every few seconds.

They laughed so hard, they woke babies up.....

I'm in two minds. I once saw a comedy show in a small theatre and there was two women laughing like this. It was insane. The performer himself got really annoyed and had a massive go at them which I kind of understood tbh. He threw something at them. They were being weird and disruptive. I can understand someone getting seriously annoyed in those circumstances.

That sounds really annoying, I'd be pissed off with them too. Were they drunk?

Hotel breakfast is a bit different from a comedy show though isn't it? I feel like one should expect to encounter people fucking laughing at a comedy show.

It’s weird, but I’ve been to a few comedy shows where the person laughing loudest was sitting right next to me, on my left. Sometimes, it’s a stranger. When we went to see Gary Delaney, it was my friend C, who LOVES puns. When we went to see a comic play, it was my friend J, who bless her, laughs like a seagull.

I wouldn’t dream of telling them to laugh more quietly. I find it hard to imagine a comedian doing that either. What comedian wants an audience trying to suppress their laughter in case they get singled out and ridiculed?

Sometimes I find it really irritating because I'm quite sensitive to noise, and sometimes these are the types of people who loudly talk through or laugh at things over the next punch line.

Sometimes it just adds to the performance because it makes it funnier that someone is finding everything so funny.

Maybe the trick is to not be sitting too close to them.

Think the most annoying thing I went to was when a couple, must have been in their 50s, were sitting next to me groping each other and kissing through the theatre performance I was trying to watch. Obviously the seats are tiny and close together too so it was even more uncomfortable. About 3/4 of the way through (so after the interval) they decided to leave, so of course they had to make a big fuss about getting out and we had to stand up so they could walk past us, which then blocked other people's view and it was annoying (and disrespectful to the performers) but at least I didn't have to see it all any more.

urgh ffs - how rude of your family member!

Your family member was extremely rude and out of order on this occasion but I wish she'd been there the time I went to see Les Mis and the woman next to us was loudly singing along or the time we saw Dirty Dancing and someone shouted out "Come On Johnny" when the star was about to deliver his iconic line at the end

I hate performance laughing but would have probably not said anything

Exactly what I was about to write.

Your riposte @GiveMeSpanakopita made me chortle so hard, my neighbour banged on the wall as he's on a Teams meeting.

''Performance snogging'' -at 16, just about understandable.
A couple in their 50's?- just gross.

Probably having an affair, and he wanted to make best use of a dwindling erection hence the hasty eggzit.

Perhaps they wanted the comedian to notice them, so they would become a part of the act.

Very irritating but I don't think you can say anything.

Like a pp, me and my friend went to a concert and a woman behind us was singing along loudly to every song, couldn't hear the actual performer. Thankfully there were free seats so we moved seats. I looked around a bit but I wouldn't tell her to shut up. Yes it's rude to tell her but more likely people like that would give you a gobful and carry on louder than before.

I wouldn't have said anything as they have every right to laugh at a comedy show however I can completely understand how annoying that must of been

Like a pp I'd like to know if it was a male relative?
My DD made it clear that she'd never go to a Lee Evens show (early days) with me because I used to scream with laughter at home at him. I did also like Norman Wisdom (who he has copied). Your relative was at fault.

I think your relative was right. I went to a musical comedy (which wasn’t even that funny) a few years back and the whole show was ruined for me because of a woman sitting behind me laughing like a hyena every couple of minutes. I wish I was as brave as your relative.

since OP is being coy am going to either assume that relative is a male, in which case men telling women to be quiet is not a good look and should be discouraged.

Or it is you, OP, in which case own it (still wrong though - unless they were so shrieking that you couldn't hear the show)

If someone is sat facing the stage and laughing how can you possibly think you have the right to try to assess their motivation?

OP’s not being coy, she sais ‘she’s normally very kind and polite, so this is quite out of character for her.’

It was a female relative (my aunt).

My ex husband used to say to me "nothing is that funny you know" when I used to listen to comedy with my headphones on and like you I have a laugh that I'm not in control of lol but laughing is one of my favourite things to do and I think he was a bit annoyed because he didn't really get jokes and had to have them explained to him unless they were really simple lol I think he wanted me to feel small and ashamed but I used to say "well it obviously is that funny if I'm laughing at it isn't it" people laughing is one of the best sounds in the world and I don't care how loud or ridiculous it is lol

I have a friend who laughs like a hyena, another who cackles like a pantomime witch and my dad sneezes like a volcano going off… none of them can help it. If people are going to get offended by others naturally expressing themselves then maybe going to live comedy is not for them? It was undeniably rude to tell them to shut up and while we have all encountered annoying drunk people on a night out - in many places - it’s one of those situations where you just have to do an internal eye roll and get on with your night.