To think that going on an evening date always=sex

[Sundaycoffee]

Having a conversation with friends and told them I'm going on a first date for drinks. I was really excited. My first date in years! Told them he asked me for a drink.
They said they wouldn't want to do evening drinks for a first date as they would worry the man was only after one thing and wouldn't want to give that impression out to the man either by accepting a drinks date. They would only go for a coffee and a walk for the first date, so they know his intentions aren't sex.
AIBU to think they ABU and can't they just be positive and say "have a great time!"?
Since when is going for a drink with a man giving the impression you want to sleep with them?

Title should be "doesn't" always= sex

Surely you just say no to going back to theirs etc if asked. Then block and don’t see again? Not a bad way to filter if you ask me

Your friend is being ridiculous. People don’t just have sex in the evening. All our early dates were in the evening, and we didn’t have sex until the fourth date.

I've done some online dating over the past few months all of my first dates were evening drinks. None of them ended up with sex! In fact they mostly ended very quickly!

Just go and enjoy yourself.
If you want to have sex and the opportunity presents itself, so what.

Your friends are talking nonsense. There's nothing wrong with an evening date, it doesnt mean sex at all! Its a better option and sets the scene for a romantic date much more than a hurried coffee at 3 in the afternoon. And by romantic I dont mean sex i mean the pretence of a date as opposed to a platonic coffee in daylight.

Never heard of this! Go, and stand your ground with what you want!

Your friend is being ridiculous. Of course it's not a given. I have a looooong and chequered dating history and I've never heard anyone say "ooh no, you can't go for a drink in the evening with a MAN! There'll be SEX!"

Enjoy your date OP.

They would only go for a coffee and a walk for the first date, so they know his intentions aren't sex.

Such a weird way of thinking.

Have they never had sex during the day or without alcohol?

Yeah she basically said I would assume any man asking me for drinks for the first date is hoping I'll have too many and end up going back to his and she would only do a day date for the first date "but that's just me"

What do you think? Do you want to go? Is she saying you will get drunk and have sex that you don’t want to have?

I think she's more concerned about the guys intentions, rather than what I will do or not do. I guess a bit like a test, if he's happy to go for a quick coffee for me I the day time I know he's not just after one thing. Whereas she believes a man asking you for drinks is more likely to be after sex.

God almighty. You're not going for some cider in the park with the local 'lad' who is hoping you'll be pissed on Strongbow so he can feel your tits.

Your friend is being silly.

Unless you ARE going for some Strongbow in the park, in which case she's got a point.

And yes I want to go. I was and am looking forward to it. I was just a bit baffled on why they were putting a negative spin on it and wondering if there was truth behind it.

Wow. So she’s assuming the men she’s dating will use alcohol to get consent she wouldn’t otherwise have given?

If you’re dating a rapist meeting then for coffee doesn’t change who they are.

This way of thinking comes from
misogynsitic beliefs that women don’t like sec and it’s all men do like, so women are the gatekeepers and have to make sure it’s not ‘too easy’ to sleep with them. It’s absolutely toxic.

Enjoy your date. Have sex with him when and if you want to.

See my post above. Evenings have more connotations for romance than daytimes if you ask me. A coffee first date at 3pm or whenever is just lame and is a terrible first date. Evenings are better as they set the scene for romance but thats not the same as sex, which is where your friend is getting confused.

Sounds more like she can't trust herself around alcohol and it might impair her judgement.

Otherwise she'd just go home alone after the date.

Totally agree. A sober coffee at 3pm would feel more like a business meeting/ interview to me. You don't get the opportunity to get a bit closer to each other if youre sitting opposite each other sipping a coffee. At least in a bar it sets the scene to get a bit closer if you want to, more of an opportunity to touch them (on the arm or similar). Things like that.

coffee and a walk as a first date?

Ugh. I could never.

Glass of wine and if I'm not having fun off I pop.

Why would it mean that, people typically go for drinks as they’re at work in the day, my first date with my husband was drinks in a bar, we had sex nearly five months later.

First date needs to be an outing to a museum with a chaperone. Act appropriately please.

Only slatternly whores meet their date after 4pm, sorry OP x

Is it wrong I miss the olden days of a cider fulled Park fumble 😂

And if you're lucky you then get to walk around a park with a coffee after

Ha! Men are ALWAYS after sex. It makes no difference what time your date is. A sexual relationship is what he (and probably she) is looking for ultimately. But if he's only after a quickie then he'll try it on at a lunch date just as easily as he would on an evening date.
Likewise, if it's a longer term relationship he's looking for, an evening date won't suddenly make him turn into a ravening wolf.
Frankly though, whatever time you meet, if he fancies you, he'll always be hoping. 😂