To think that going on an evening date always=sex

[Sundaycoffee]

Having a conversation with friends and told them I'm going on a first date for drinks. I was really excited. My first date in years! Told them he asked me for a drink.
They said they wouldn't want to do evening drinks for a first date as they would worry the man was only after one thing and wouldn't want to give that impression out to the man either by accepting a drinks date. They would only go for a coffee and a walk for the first date, so they know his intentions aren't sex.
AIBU to think they ABU and can't they just be positive and say "have a great time!"?
Since when is going for a drink with a man giving the impression you want to sleep with them?

I've gone out with a guy recently at 11pm to go get food and drinks never ended up having sex although he slightly tried it

Unless the drinks are at his place, your friend is way off base.

Honestly my instinct after your updates is that she doesn't feel confident about making choices she'll feel good about in the morning or standing up for what she does or doesn't want, and something like coffee mid-day feels like it makes doing that easier. There's nothing wrong with that (and I don't get the objection some PP have to coffee as a first date), but that doesn't mean it applies to you.

Hope your date is fun.

I think this says more about your friends tbh. It doesn't mean sex at all. It's nice to go and have a few drinks with someone and get to know them.

I don't think I've ever had a first date in the daytime. A drink in the evening is a very normal first date.

Sorry but your friends are being silly. Most people have to meet in the evening if it’s a weekday due to work. Secondly - you just say , you’ve got to head off or in the very unlikely situation they ask outright- just say no …

Not sure why people are being so critical of your friends. If their experience has been that men who want to meet in the evenings are more likely to expect sex, that's hardly their fault, is it? Because its fair to say most people would be more likely to tag sex on to an evening than they would to a coffee in the park, so I dare say 'evening' men are more likely to suggest it than 'day' men. All your friends are doing is sharing what they've learned from their experience in the field. It doesn't mean you're wrong to go on the date or that the man should assume you're up for sex, or indeed that you shouldn't be. It's just a warning he might assume this, because a lot do.

I miss the cider park fumbling days. I was classy though white lightening and mad dog 20/20 for me.

First date couple of dates with DH were in the evening and involved alcohol. He even walked me home and didn't come in nor suggest it. It was the afternoon date that started with a walk and hot chocolate that ended in sex

She's talking nonsense, most dates happen in the evening and don't include sex. Has she never been on a date?

She must have dated some real charmers.

Evening drinks makes perfect sense. Why waste your weekend days on lots of potentially bad first dates?

Why is a man (or anyone) wanting sex bad?

Obviously you get to say yes or no, but him wanting it doesn't make him a bad person, isn't that the ultimate aim of dating?

I've never been for anything but evening drinks for a first date. I need a bit of plonk to calm the nerves. 💁