To say sorry to DH that I'm not slim and gorgeous

[iamnotafox]

To be clear, he has never commented about my looks or weight. But I feel ugly for him both in looks and body. I wish I could be prettier and slimmer for him.

Why? Surely he wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you and fancy you just as you are?

I'd work on ways to improve your self-esteem.

He likes you for you. Men are a lot more accepting and forgiving of women's bodies than women are.

Absolutely do not apologise. At a minimum, it will put (unhelpful) thoughts into his (pretty, little) head.

He wouldn't have married you if he wasn't attracted to you and your whole package. Crack on with your normal, amazing self.

Lots of problematic assumptions here. That you are ugly to him or ugly at all. That men 'deserve' slim and pretty partners (according to very narrow beauty standards). I believe that every person is beautiful and look for the beauty in all faces and bodies and this really helps with my own self esteem.

Honestly, women are our own worst enemies with this stuff. He wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you.

I have never been slim really but I swear I had more " luck" with men when I was bigger than I do now I've hit the gym.

The important thing is you start doing something which makes you feel better about yourself. Do you have any hobbies ? Could you join an art class or maybe yoga or swimming once a week. Do something outside if work and being home. It works wonders makes you feel you have something to talk about, you meet like minded people, and feel good as you get better at it etc

If you need to ask to be forgiven to anyone it's should be to yourself op. Be kinder to yourself and if you're unhappy with your weight or appearance just start to make small changes for yourself.

Am I owed an apology by my DP because he's no Tom Hardy (taboo era).

Never apologise for who you are. If you are unhappy with things about you, work and change them.

So i assume he's a male model is he?
He'll more likely be turned off by the desperate lack of confidence.

What?

Taboo era was peak Tom, my dp also owes me an apology come to think of it 😂

I’m sure he loves you very much but if you’re not happy with your looks then do something about it for you.

Never, ever apologize for being you - we all go through changes and sometimes it means we put on more weight than we like, it happens. As well as loads of other stuff, far worse than putting on a few kilos. so:

Just say nothing and focus on losing the extra weight is all - I've been eviscerated on another thread for being an uncaring, mentally-unstable wierdo-beast - but unless you have a mental block on healthier eating and a psychological aversion to undertaking any exercise whatsoever (as per the psychotic thread) then you should be fine.

Meanwhile focus on the good stuff in your life as there's nothing more attractive and prettier than that.

Have you written this post in a sly and oblique way to make women feel rubbish about themselves, OP? That's how it reads to me.

I don't think this is a real post.

In the off-chance it is, you should seek therapy because you clearly think a woman's value is only in her looks. Depressing.

Why? He's married you so there's a lot more to you than you give yourself credit for.

Try not to obsess or put yourself down and enjoy life and your relationship. Easier said than done I know so maybe just clean up your diet which will, in itself, help you feel better.

This. All of it.

I think the one owed an apology is you, you are being very mean to yourself.

Take your DH out of the equation and work on really loving yourself. That means accepting your body and taking care of it with nourishing food, movement, and grooming.

I assure you you DH will appreciate you liking yourself and the confidence that brings more than you being a size smaller. Or at least he will if he is a decent person.

Now chin up and remember you are somebody not just some body

Taboo era was peak Tom

this!

Oh don't be daft.

I’m assuming he looks like an Adonis? No? Then why are you stressing??

Your body is yours. It's your own, for you. You shouldn't ever wish your body look different "for" someone else!

Haha I love the clarification in brackets! Taboo era is definitely his best era. You almost see where the sister is coming from....

🙄 this all sounds incredibly draining and exhausting for him.

You don’t owe anyone beauty or thinness. Fuck that.