To say sorry to DH that I'm not slim and gorgeous

[iamnotafox]

To be clear, he has never commented about my looks or weight. But I feel ugly for him both in looks and body. I wish I could be prettier and slimmer for him.

So are you saying that being pretty or slim would be all you have to offer? I was slim and pretty but the 5 men who properly love/loved me didn't/don't really mention that...they loved my strength, my brain, my kindness, my sense of humour, my taste in music, my passion, my laugh, how I mothered and on and on. Not one said I love your size 8 body or your prettiest eyes in isolation.

Your DH will love a lot more about you than you realise.

I could have written this......I never feel I'm good enough for DP..he calls me Dooley whenever I say anything along these lines but I still feel it

Who the fuck thinks you're being reasonable.

Do not apologise to him.

OP, you may believe your partner can walk on water, but I promise you, he's just a man. Just an ordinary guy who has been extremely lucky to have found himself a woman he obviously finds attractive and who appears to idolise him faults and all. To have this is to win lifes lottery. There is absolutely no need to think you need to fill his already over flowing cup further by being some stereotype of what men are supposed to want. Also, excess humility is not attractive, so stop it and have some regard for who you are.

Hi OP, you appear to have very low self esteem. Saying sorry to DH for not being pretty or slim enough?????????? Definitely NO.
We all have our own attractiveness

Does he need to say sorry to you because he's not slim and beautiful. @iamnotafox ?

You need to work on your self esteem, not your waist line.

I just let out a big sigh on his behalf

And on a practical note...what exactly is the man supposed to do with this proposed apology? Because if my DP apologised to me for his appearance I'd be hugely uncomfortable, sad for him and worried for his self esteem; and if I'm honest, I'd feel a bit manipulated. Because there's only one response, isn't there? Reassurance and compliments. And to be worth something these need to be freely given, not forced from someone to make you feel better. I believe you're sincere OP, but don't think it will land well. You'd do far better keeping these thought to yourself and working on ways to improve your confidence.

You've had some shitty replies OP. I don't know how to help though as I feel the same for my DH.

Honestly I think a lot of women's body issues are in their own head (not minimising I promise!) but sometimes I look in the mirror and am angry/disgusted at myself. I'm so much heavier and different to when DH and I got together.

Has he noticed I've changed, yes, he's not blind. Does he still chase me round if he sees me getting out the shower, also yes!

No, fuck that.

My DP isn't slim, I think she's absolutely gorgeous but I'm also not daft enough to think that she's objectively some Hollywood beauty etc.

However, literally the only thing I find unattractive about her is her lack of self confidence about her looks.

She is beautiful. Every time she smiles, it makes me happy, every time she takes her clothes off I sneak a peek, even after 18 years. Yes, if I could change things about her body, there are things I would. But those things are her bad back, and her ability to sense upcoming weather changes by getting a spectacular migraine. There is not a single thing aesthetically I'd want to change. Because changing them would make her look less like her. And she's who I fell in love with.

Speaking as a veritable tubby little tit witch, yes YABU.

I've gone from anorexic to having recovered from anorexia a little bit too well.

If you feel you need to make changes, do it for yourself.

Easier said than done when we exist in a looks obsessed world, I appreciate.

🙄🙄🙄

I'm sure he's a regular Chris Hemsworth

If my bf apologises to me for not being slim I’d tell him to shut up and stop being so daft!

Can women get any more neurotic, no there is no need

Can you imagine this ever happening in reverse, a man asking the same question?

I apologise to my wife regularly for not looking or acting anything like Jason Mamoa

And the getting old stuff - how's that gonna work?

That's lovely!

Your DH is with you because he loves you just the way you are. Please don't apologise to him, you have nothing to apologise for. I do think you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling though. Have things happened in your past which caused you to feel like this? Would you consider having some counselling? A good start would be to have a chat with your GP.

Op doesn't seem to be coming back.