Nightmare customers and general bat shittery - what are your stories?

[saywhatnow1]

I have my own business doing dog boarding in my home. It's really successful and I love it. I also used to feed cats when I started, but I stopped that several years ago. Another thread I've been reading today, reminded me about some of my batshit customers, and what it can be like to deal with the public. Would love to hear some stories from others. Here are a few from me to start :

Was looking after a tiny dog, who kept biting me. The customer insisted that the dog must NOT eat from a bowl, but must be hand fed, and wanted it to be fed chocolate buttons! Obviously chocolate is poisonous to dogs, but this dog had been eating them for over 10 years at this point, so was obviouly used to them. Every time I tried to feed the dog it bit me. And proper nasty bites. My hand swelled up so big I couldn't drive, and I had to get a tetanus booster. If you walked past the dog, it would lunge at you and sink it's teeth into your ankles. After about 5 days of this, I e-mailed the customer who was abroad, and they called me that night. When I explained what was happening, and asked whether the dog could perhaps get collected by someone it would be more comfortable with, they said "Oh no. Buddy has been biting everyone for years. It bites my kids and my grandkids. No one will have him, they all hate him. Just go and get him put down please" 😳

Another lady wanted to put her dog in for daycare when she was at work. She wanted to drop her dog off at 5am, and collect it at 11pm! I explained that our opening hours were 7am-7pm, but that she was welcome to board the dog when she had long days at work. She was unhappy with this, and tried over and over again with long rambling texts, to get me to accept the dog from 5am till 11pm, because she "didn't want to pay any extra for boarding". 😵

I have had LOADS of customers pushing me, to let them collect their dog after 7pm. Sometimes wanting to stop by as late as midnight. No! I am not sitting here in my day clothes until that time. I want to get my jammies on at 7pm and have some semblance of a normal life.

I was feeding a lady's cat, and often it wouldn't come back for days on end. She kept texting me at 10pm, asking me to do a free second visit, to see if the cat was home. No! I was in my jammies and enjoying some wine. No, I'm not going back!

Oh, and there was the lady who said she'd be back at 5pm to collect her dog. 5pm came and went. I really needed to go out at 530pm to drop my car in for repairs. Tried calling her. Her phone was off. She didn't come back till 8pm!

Also had a lady come along with a beagle called Lucifer. She explained that he can't be left alone AT ALL. At the last boarder he was at, the boarder had gone out for 15 minutes to get milk from the shop, and when he got back his front door had been half eaten. Then she expected me to say, no problem, when would you like him to stay (what happens when you sleep, or maybe I wasn't meant to sleep?!"

Oh, and the last minute texts before a stay is about to start, with it casually thrown in that the dog isn't house trained. What? And you're telling me this the day before the stay? Well, he can't come then. Now what are you going to do?

These are probably quite minor compared to some examples others have!!

Many years ago, I had a Saturday job in a well known high street stationers. It was Christmas Eve afternoon and we had sold out of pretty much everything and were closing. A bloke Indiana Jones rolled under the descending roller shutter door, with many bags of Christmas shopping in his hands and screamed, "I need a Merry Christmas to my wife card"!

Worked for a major fit retailer years ago.

Customer came to the till holding about ten long pieces of wood (maybe 6-7') and threw them at me like javelins because my queue didn't move up quickly enough.

Many many shits in display toilets - hopefully little children but still.

I was in the supermarket last week buying a few bits, one guy in front of me in the queue and I'm hoping for a quick getaway....except the card reader rejects his card for contactless payment.The cashier says oh,he'll need to enter his PIN and he completely loses it! He's never been asked to do that,he isn't going to,he doesn't trust the machine, it's all a scam to steal his bank details....on and on while the cashier stays pleasant and calm, explains this happens, and it's completely normal.
In the end he payed with cash. I have no idea how this had never happened to him before, but it is definitely going to happen again!

Name changed because I've moaned about some of these to loads of people!

I used to work for the Woodland Trust, first role there was mainly dealing with enquiries/complaints about woods they own. Loads of absolute fruitcakes used to phone in ranting about ridiculous things (often swearing and shouting). Some 'favourites':

•the woman who phoned ranting about the crows in the woods cawing and making it seem "eerie like a horror film"
•the angry man who called to complain about fruit dropping from the trees in autumn and making the ground dangerous and slippery (this wood was 100 miles away, was I going to go and sweep it all up?!)
•the woman who complained that there were too many insects in the wood, namely midges/gnats biting her. Could she not wear insect repellent? No she was allergic. Could she just not go? No apparently we should set off massive insect-killing bombs or something in the woods..
•the woman who couldn't understand why I wasn't going to come and collect a dead pigeon she'd seen
•the verrry angry man effing and blinding at me because his neighbour had had his own tree trimmed and some of the twigs had fallen into angry man's garden. I was fucking useless for not sorting it out apparently 😆

When it comes to the public nothing surprises me since that job (although I now have an immense dislike of jobs that involve answering the phone!)

@NigelHarmansNewWife In one way that's quite sweet albeit a bit annoying for the staff who'd quite like to go home. Did he get a card? He must have been pretty desperate

@sashh Loved this:

"I often start a lessen by telling students the subject and asking what they already know. An adult, a fully grown adult complained to my manager that I was making then do my job because I asked questions."

It reminded me of something DD said when she was in recepton.

She came home one day and said "mum I think Mrs X has got a problem with her reading" When I asked why she said "well she keeps pointing at words and asking us what they say"

Lol, similar tales at the RSPB. Worked at a nature reserve, not their helpline.

• A woman thought the woodland looked messy and there should be no sticks or fallen trees on the ground.
• The amount of people that brought in injured and dying birds... I know the abbreviations look similar, but the RSPB is not RSPCA, there are no vets or animal welfare facilities! Fortunately one of the rangers kindly volunteered to dispatch said birds, not that we could tell the member of the public...

Thankfully not had too many terrible customers in my time.
Did have someone recently - I volunteer in a charity shop - complaining about the cost of CD's. The one he wanted was a very limited edition and quite rare. We priced it at £7.99, and you'd have to cough up at least twice that for it elsewhere.
Anyway he asked if it was the right price, and I said yes. He queried it again and I explained that we research all items to ensure that the pricing is appropriate.
He didn't agree and shouted "I could easily buy this cheaper elsewhere!" at me. I just said "Okay then" and didn't engage further.

Work for a popular coffee shop, our toilets get sprayed with shit a minimum of once a week. It's everywhere, up the walls etc..

Next time you're in a coffee shop and they have an out of order sign chances are it's shit sprayed, I hate the public at times

What a ridiculously judgmental comment.

Mine are tame (NHS)

A woman demanded I knock on all the doors in the HealthCentre to find out who had parked in one of the BlueBadge spaces without a badge and make them move . Erm that's a "No"

One who arrived with an appointment slip (hand written not printed) but the date and day didn't tally . I recognised the writing of a member of staff who had left over a year ago and when I checked they'd missed this appointment but must;ve found the slip . They 100% refused to believe me even though I said "That;s Amy;s writing and when did you last see her ....a years ago ....?"

The ones who say they have an appointment , have a letter (but its at home ) and when I show them the letter on the computer (its for tomorrow or next week) and maybe bring it with them....

And ones who kick off if I;m running late because my patient is in a wheelchair or very frail or in one case needed Paramedics .. It takes all my strength to not say "I hope you;re ashamed of yourself showing off like that"

I'm reasonably fluent in both now. I know if I'm offered a drink in Lancashire it means alcohol, if it is tea of coffee then its a brew.

I can both mash and brew tea.

Whether a baby is skriking or roaring.

I have got stuck with, "have you not.." instead of my native, "haven't you.."

I know a 'pie and pea supper' will be meat and potato pie but if I have a pie in Yorkshire it will be pork.

My Mum was a teacher at a rough school in the NE.

At a parent teacher night about 20 years ago, she caught one of the parents walking out with the classroom television! She confronted her, got a mouthful of abuse and ended up letting her leave with it as she didn't know what else to do.

We get customers who pay with contactless and card then expects a PIN. Some customers react to this like its the end of the world.

It's a security element done by YOUR BANK, not the RETAILER. Its an algorithm your bank decides on. A couple of customers say it always happens in here. Well if you buy cigs and groceries every day - that's 14 transactions a week in one place.

Then get customers say "i don't know my PIN". Well firstly don't need to keep the PIN your bank randomly allocated to you. Go to any ATM and put card in and under card services, change PIN. Change it to something you remember - childhood phone number, a birthday of a loved one etc. NOT 1111 1234, 3333 etc.

Then what happens is customer has the cash or pays contactless with another card. The first card would still need a PIN before paying with it - even though its a different day etc.

I used to work at a restaurant chain that served chicken at various spice levels. A customer was barred for being visibly intoxicated and rude to staff. His response to this was to go to the supermarket across the road every day, buy a whole rotisserie chicken, and eat it rather aggressively outside so that he was fully visible to us through the windows. It was absolutely hilarious, and completely bizarre. I can’t remember how long this went on for but he did eventually get the message that he wasn’t allowed back, and no amount of rotisserie chicken would change that 🤣

This is amazing 😂😂😂

I'm now f/t self-employed in Specialist Retail as of 2018 but I've worked in Retail and various other jobs over the years dealing with all kinds of nutters!

At the time I was working in a restaurant and there was only a small carpark for both staff and customers at the front. There was always a lot of confusion and various cars being blocked in/not being able to get out or in.

I had various customers being really nasty to me demanding ''move your car so I can get out''. I explained I can't move my car as I am not a driver and don't have a car! So then they got even more nasty with me ''but you need to move the car so I can leave/get in' . I CAN'T MOVE MY CAR BECAUSE I DON'T BLOODY HAVE ONE!

They demanded I tell other staff and customers to move their cars but I then received another load of abuse and threats when I told them it's not my job to do such things, I'm a restaurant waiter, not a parking maid!

A couple of people were really nice when I explained and quietly had a natter with the managers but a lot were really nasty to me for something that literally wasn't my fault!

That's so weird! I used to be a cashier in a bank, and we had millions of pounds in the safe. Literally, several million. And it doesn't look like a lot, in big notes, the pile isn't as big as you would imagine.

Working in A&E and a patient had a cardiac arrest in a bay just surrounded by curtains. We all rush in, try to move the adjoining patients and beds further away, pulled the curtains, started CPR, adrenaline, shocking him etc. Unfortunately, he died. RIP.
Afterwards, I went to the bed next to him to him to apologise that they would have clearly heard everything that went on. The wife of that patient pipes up
'You do realise we have been here an hour and no one has even offered us a cup of tea yet!'

No, I don't think they were. This dog was 10 years old, and because it was vicious, they hadn't been able to leave it with anyone, so hadn't had a holiday in all that time. Then, they found me, and left him with me without telling me that he was a biter. They went to Egypt with their grown up children and grandchildren, and they had a whale of a time, and I honestly think they realised what they had been missing because of the bloody dog. They had paid me up front, and I didn't offer them any refund, given that the dog was collected early. I was so angry they had lied by omission, and put me in that position.

@username1010 I didn't explain it very well 🙈 the bits that were missing were usually admitted to have been left at home because they 'forgot' or 'dropped' them. Obviously we required things to be returned in full

Then there were the ones who had zero proof of purchase, no idea what date or time roughly they bought it so we couldnt trace the transaction, who would still try to return a random hot tub on a trolley with no box so we couldn't even link it to a barcode

Get this every time England are playing football or FA cup final. About an hour before the match or close, get loads of customers rushing in buying beer etc.

We knew England are going to be in the final from Wednesday night and had 3 days to plan.

Anyway anyone who drinks beer should have beer or other alcoholic drinks at home at all times.

I always have alcohol at home.

10 minutes before Christmas Eve closing a woman in Asda was screaming at an assistant on the fresh vegetables section because there were no sprouts left, didn't they know it was Christmas! I think we all wanted to sing.