Nightmare customers and general bat shittery - what are your stories?

[saywhatnow1]

I have my own business doing dog boarding in my home. It's really successful and I love it. I also used to feed cats when I started, but I stopped that several years ago. Another thread I've been reading today, reminded me about some of my batshit customers, and what it can be like to deal with the public. Would love to hear some stories from others. Here are a few from me to start :

Was looking after a tiny dog, who kept biting me. The customer insisted that the dog must NOT eat from a bowl, but must be hand fed, and wanted it to be fed chocolate buttons! Obviously chocolate is poisonous to dogs, but this dog had been eating them for over 10 years at this point, so was obviouly used to them. Every time I tried to feed the dog it bit me. And proper nasty bites. My hand swelled up so big I couldn't drive, and I had to get a tetanus booster. If you walked past the dog, it would lunge at you and sink it's teeth into your ankles. After about 5 days of this, I e-mailed the customer who was abroad, and they called me that night. When I explained what was happening, and asked whether the dog could perhaps get collected by someone it would be more comfortable with, they said "Oh no. Buddy has been biting everyone for years. It bites my kids and my grandkids. No one will have him, they all hate him. Just go and get him put down please" 😳

Another lady wanted to put her dog in for daycare when she was at work. She wanted to drop her dog off at 5am, and collect it at 11pm! I explained that our opening hours were 7am-7pm, but that she was welcome to board the dog when she had long days at work. She was unhappy with this, and tried over and over again with long rambling texts, to get me to accept the dog from 5am till 11pm, because she "didn't want to pay any extra for boarding". 😵

I have had LOADS of customers pushing me, to let them collect their dog after 7pm. Sometimes wanting to stop by as late as midnight. No! I am not sitting here in my day clothes until that time. I want to get my jammies on at 7pm and have some semblance of a normal life.

I was feeding a lady's cat, and often it wouldn't come back for days on end. She kept texting me at 10pm, asking me to do a free second visit, to see if the cat was home. No! I was in my jammies and enjoying some wine. No, I'm not going back!

Oh, and there was the lady who said she'd be back at 5pm to collect her dog. 5pm came and went. I really needed to go out at 530pm to drop my car in for repairs. Tried calling her. Her phone was off. She didn't come back till 8pm!

Also had a lady come along with a beagle called Lucifer. She explained that he can't be left alone AT ALL. At the last boarder he was at, the boarder had gone out for 15 minutes to get milk from the shop, and when he got back his front door had been half eaten. Then she expected me to say, no problem, when would you like him to stay (what happens when you sleep, or maybe I wasn't meant to sleep?!"

Oh, and the last minute texts before a stay is about to start, with it casually thrown in that the dog isn't house trained. What? And you're telling me this the day before the stay? Well, he can't come then. Now what are you going to do?

These are probably quite minor compared to some examples others have!!

A woman once came up to our customer service desk asking for a refund on a child’s item of clothing because it was ‘faulty’.
The fault? The blackcurrant her DC had spilt on it wouldn’t wash out.

A store I worked for offered days out vouchers so had posters up of a certain theme park. Customer rocked up & mentioned theme park so I assumed she was asking about the vouchers.
No, she asked me to direct her to this theme park, and had actually driven a couple of hours to get to where we are. I didn’t have a clue how to direct her because we were 60 odd miles away from the place.

Another retail place where a woman in a right strop slammed a rock hard melon down on the counter and barked ‘tell me, exactly how am I supposed to ripen that?’.
I replied that maybe if she took it back to the competitor she bought it from, they might be able to tell her. The huge sticker with their name an barcode on should have given her a clue where to return it to.

As a hotel employee many years ago, asking what he would like for breakfast. “porridge”.
‘sorry sir, we don’t actually have porridge on the menu’
’But I always have porridge for breakfast, so that’s what I want’.

We had a customer throw a frozen chicken hard at a staff member seated behind a till (they had to go to hospital) because there was a small queue. Yes, the police were called.
I had a customer rage at me for a good twenty minutes unbroken about an issue with his car that we had in for repairs. We had phoned and left a message with his wife who had totally misunderstood what was said and told him the wrong thing. I couldn't get a word in edgeways or figure out what he was screaming about. When he eventually petered out after saying some truly venomous and personal stuff, I managed to explain what we had called about which was something extremely trivial and nothing bad -more of a personal choice question. He stormed off slamming the door without another word. He did actually come back later on and apologise but I'd imagine it was because the garage owner refused to finish the job unless he did. Calling someone a slag and a trussed up tart who pretends to know about cars is pretty over the top really.

A lady tried to return a pair of trousers which she had hemmed up and washed and were now too short. She couldn’t understand what the problem was!

When I was pregnant (the only time I worked in retail) a customer threatened to “wait for me after work” because I wouldn’t sell him Grand Theft Auto Vice City (I think it was Vice City).

I had refused to sell it because,

a) It wasn’t out yet. It came out a few days later.

b) It wasn’t actually in stock, we didn’t have it.

Apparently I was lying. We had them piled up in the stock room and I was pretending they weren’t there. And he ALWAYS got stuff early. (He didn’t, there were chunky fines for breaking release dates.)

So when people say that these Grand Theft Auto games make other people violent, I kind of think, “Yeah, maybe.”

The amount of customers who don't understand that if the booking system says fully booked then that means we are fully booked and there is no table available. N, calling us does not mean we can magic up a table. And no we can't cancel someone else for you.

I had some one email and leave a bad review because we where fully booked. And I mean booked to the brim. Nothing we could do. They tried booking 10 minutes before the time they wanted on a Saturday night 🙄

But what did you do with Benny?

Or Buddy, even 🙈😂

Had a passenger call me a cunt and try to grab me by the throat because he missed his ferry. In front of his 2 young kids as well. Demanded I call the captain of the ferry and order him to return to port so he could board. I did not do that.

I worked in the same shop for 7 years and have loads but a couple that stand out...

Someone tried to return a breast pump because they didn't want it. I said that was fine as long as it was unopened and unused and she had the receipt. It was most definitely used... there was still breast milk inside it. She went mad at me when I refused to return it.

And a customer once threw a pushchair at me because I wouldn't give him a refund on it and he said it was faulty. It wasn't, it was just very, very well used and over 5 years old. He kept insisting he only got it a few months ago until I pulled out the catalogue from 5 years ago that we kept for situations just like this and showed him the exact one he had inside. (The changed the colour of them every year)
He didn't like this clearly so picked it up and threw it at me.

I hope you reported him to the police and banned him from ever boarding the ferry for that!

@thinkfast funnily enough he complained about my attitude to the general manager and they gave him a free crossing to apologise. My boss said that my response of "you kiss your kids with that mouth" was unprofessional. I promptly left that job and found another one.

I once had a complaint from a customer because I gave her a refund. I had phoned my manager in front of her to check, and the manager told me to go ahead and refund her, as we knew her, knew we’d made an error, and wanted to put it right. Apparently I should have ‘checked the paperwork’ first, because what if she shouldn’t have got a refund?? Presumably she thought we were idiots who handed out cash on demand to any old chancer. She then said she didnt like my attitude. My attitude was that I was flabbergasted!

These posts are amazing! Aren't people utter idiots. The older I get the more I think I want to live in an isolated location! Why are people so angry.
Being an idiot can bite you on the bum. Years ago I have to put up with an arrogant man as a hotel receptionist. He was rude, shouty and I never forget a face. Roll on a year later and I am in a different job and my colleague introduces her new husband -him. He knew I remembered.

I said there's no way we are taking him to get PTS. So they arranged for a friend to collect him the next day, and off to the vets they went!

That is shocking!

I always got these at 4:30 on a Friday.

One standout. Pub owner complained that cows had eaten his hanging baskets and he couldn't get out of his house as they crowded his front door. They also got into the beer garden and shat on the picnic benches.

The pub was in the middle of a field that we rented to the cows owner. He had left his gates open, all the boundaries were his boundaries to police. He marched up to my boss at one point with a bill for the damage but we refused to take it.

Thought of another few. I used to work for Barclay's debt recovery unit. 3 whacky debtors stand out :

One - Chained himself to the railings in the car park, wearing a baseball cap, with a plastic turd stuck on the top and the slogan "I got shat on by Barclays"

Two - Guy didn't think we were listening to his points of view (re the debt), so he wrote us a letter, which when unfolded was about 6 foot tall, and the words were written in fluorescent ink.

Three - Guy thought he was the next messiah and sent us a map of all the planets aligning.

😂

I work in a public facing job and this last 12 months has seen increasing number of loony tunes behaviour. Is it something in the water? Will write a book one day but no details here sorry

When I worked in Magic and Sparkle, there were a few! A couple were -
Working on Boxing Day, I started at 6am and was in the menswear department, reducing the clothes for the sale. (My usual department was food/checkouts). We were all working fast and still not quite done 5 minutes before opening. I looked up and it was like a scene from a zombie movie! There were 100's of people all crammed up against the doors, clawing at the glass to get in!
The doors opened at 8am, people running, falling to the floor, yelling, I've never seen anything like it. An older Asian male ran over to me and started tugging on the shirt I was reducing and pulled it out of my hand, then threw it to the floor and ran over to the rails. He then came back and in really bad English, asked me to get him a "short sleeved jumper". I said I didn't think we sold them, because I hadn't seen them, but would ask. Asked a colleague, came back, said no, we didn't sell short sleeved jumpers. He started miming and demonstrating short sleeves. I'm shaking my head and saying, no, we don't sell them. He was getting more and more agitated, then grabbed my arm, pulled me across to a rail and pointed out a whole load of sleeveless (not short sleeved as he was indicating!) tank tops! One of which, he selected, picked off the rail, pointed at, held up to his chest, nodded and stomped off to the checkouts! Absolutely no idea what that was about! It was exactly what he wanted, was in the sale and he knew where they were! 🤣
I was on my checkout one morning, when a very entitled, well to do couple came through with a large shop. Upon getting to payment, she produced some vouchers and said, these need to be taken off the bill. I checked them over and handed them back. I'm sorry, these are out of date. No, they both said, they are not and handed them back to me. I pointed out the date, which was out by 14 months. Oh, they say, with a condescending smile, well, that really doesn't matter, it's Marks and Spencers! I said yes you are correct, they are M and S vouchers, but we still can't accept those as they are out of date, I'm sorry.
I was asked to call my manager, which I duly did, all the time they were smiling at me as though I was very simple and going to get a bollocking for a hideous misunderstanding. The manager came and told them exactly the same as I did! They then paid the full amount on a platinum card, stormed off and went to the cafe opposite my checkout, got a drink and positioned their chairs, with a little difficulty, so they could stare me out. Which they did! I took great pleasure in signing out and finishing my shift 3 minutes after they'd sat down!
I have to say though, some of the staff were more batshit than the customers! I was asked twice by a manager if I had seen a certain member of staff. I said no, not for a while. Apparently, he was later found fast asleep on the disabled toilet!
I would never work in retail again and bless those who do!

Had a customer complaining that she was queuing for half an hour. I only started my shift 5-10 mins before this and i walked past the CSD 5-7 minutes before my shift started and she was not there. Not even when i went into the kiosk to let my colleague have her lunch.

“I have been waiting half an hour”
“I’m sorry you weren’t there when I walked into work 15 minutes ago”

She had a right strop. Even a customer who was behind her when entering the store said that wasn’t half an hour. As was in the dentist’s chair then.

My colleague took me off and the then store manager asked me to go into the office. He showed me the CCTV footage of me entering the store to start work, fast forward to me taking colleague out of CSD/Kiosk for lunch. Then her entering to her shouting. Manager said look at the time stamp on footage. Her ‘half hour of waiting’ was just 49 seconds! That was the time she joined the queue of two people to her throwing her hands in the air! I do wish sometimes half an hour at work whizzes past in 49 seconds

She basically shouted at the wrong person. She was banned.

I have some from my holiday rep days.
One chap grabbed me round the neck and tried to drag me through the hotel reception to the restaurant to see the ‘shite excuse’ of an English breakfast on offer. This was in Egypt. The hotel staff wrestled him off me, it was awful, I remember sobbing for ages as I was so shook up.

Then there were the lads who smeared their own shit over the walls of their apartments (Kos) as a gift for the hotelier who had endured nothing but problems with them for their whole two weeks.

However, the worst was the woman in Corfu who decided to make my life a misery for her entire holiday because we would not accept her toddler (about 18 months) into the kids club (4-10 years). She would track me down around the hotel and scream obscenities at me, I lived in the hotel, there was no escape. On the final day of her holiday, as she was about to get on her transfer coach, I was talking to some other customers who were also leaving, she threw a plastic cup of piss at me. She then complained about me when she got home. I still recall her full name and her (then) address 32 years later.

@MoonWoman69 we have a customer that hands over a load of coupons mix of cut out of newspapers, through the post, from coupon printer and things in junk mail (such as the free Always bladder pads which are circulated where I live). We put the out of date coupons on one side.

“I take those” says the woman about the expired coupons.
”These are out of date”
“I don’t care”

Earlier this year, a colleague got fed up of woman handing over expired coupons to us that she ripped them up and binned them. Customer wanted to speak to a manager. Colleague showed manager a coupon dated Oct 2022. Manager backed us and said to the woman that expired coupons never become active

I was a teen working in a theme park in USA on a work placement thing. I was working in a candy store and one day a woman came in and was browsing the items. Suddenly she started yelling at me that I should have gone straight to her assistance and helped her as she was clearly wanting to get something.

Firstly it wasn't obvious. I was stood as I always was by my till as there were other people there and I had assumed that if someone wanted my help or anything they'd ask me and I'd have gone over. I was at that point on my own in the store. She was completely screaming at me and I was in shock. I was just thinking wtf. I didn't really say much as I couldn't get a word in edgeways but then I did something that wasn't the smartest move. I had started to go towards her to help her but as she carried on yelling, something inside my teen brain thought 'no don't run to her when she's screaming at you like that' so I literally stopped half way to her , turned around and went back to my till. I don't know why I did that

This obviously flamed the fire and she screamed even more at me, demanding a manager, wanting me to be fired, telling me she didn't pay 80 dollars to have some little kid give her attitude or something.

I think someone came in and took over serving her and I promptly was taken out the back by some colleagues and burst into tears lol and spent a good hour or so being consoled!

I was moved to a different store that day and spent the whole day worrying she'd come back.

As a teacher, a few that stand out of the many hundreds

The parent who sent in a written complaint that we were not giving her child enough one to one attention. The reason she needed one to one attention was that parents were too busy to provide it at home

The parent who complained I had talked to her daughter about the possibility of getting a job in the future, apparently without understanding that such wild talk was going to disrupt her application to get a council flat.

The online covid lesson which parents watched and 5 rang the school to say I taught too slowly, and 5 rang the school to say I taught too fast.

The fathers who won't talk to women teachers, and teach their sons to disrespect them

The parents called to pick up their stoned teenage son, and arrived stoned out of their minds themselves,

The parents who expect "room service education" after covid, and try and demand that all lessons are live streamed for the benefit of their little johnny sitting on the settee at home with a cold.

well, I could go on indefinitely really

I used to be the manager for the trade area of a DIY store and had a few chuckles.

One man expected us to completely replace £1100 of laminate that he had installed because it turned out there was moisture issues in the property and he hadn't checked this before laying the flooring and it warped. That would be a nope.

Frequently had people trying to return things from other stores, and then baffled that we could actually tell that it wasn't our product.

Or hot tubs out of the box with random pieces missing/not working and people not happy about it being a manufacturer return not a store one. Had someone camp for 3 hours trying to return one.

There was the man who expected me to get a forklift out on the shop floor in the middle of a busy Sunday afternoon because the cement mixer he wanted was up in storage and he couldn't wait a whole day for us to get it down overnight. Asked for my supervisor and didn't like being told that actually I was the duty manager for the day so my decision on health and safety was final. Sent a complaint in about me, which came straight to me as it was my department, which was subsequently closed since I had already tried to deal with it on the day.

Bodily fluid bingo was a thing in store. I think we checked off every variety in the 3 years I was there.

The staff were also batshit. We had affairs, breakups, makeups, mid life crises, arguing on the shop floor.

Every day going into work was an adventure 😅