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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my neighbour is unreasonable?

36 replies

AMiaPettyBitch · 11/07/2024 14:57

Am I overthinking this?

Situation:

Shared fence in badly need of repair, think green algae, cracked rotten warped wood (18 years old). Next door neighbour gave the whole "well as long as you're paying for it." when approached about it. They haven't once mentioned putting any contributions to it, wouldn't replace it, it is patched up beyond repair at this point. They tried to tell us it was our fence when it blew down in a storm awhile back (even though before this they had happily painted it, and attached thing to it without asking). They didn't want to help dh put it back up. We checked the deeds, and it is shared. Suddenly the whole family have sore elbows when they're healthy the rest of the time, lay patio stones (they asked for our old ones etc, we gave them to them). Dh had to lift the whole thing back up on his own, it is metres long, reattach; they curtain twitched, watching. Dh knocked and told them he couldn't do the posts at they're on their side, and they would need to help. They begrudgingly cemented 2 posts back in.

We are getting it 3 foot higher, which they are also delighted with, even complaining about the old fence being so low.

The fencing company came out today, and the neighbour came straight out as soon as they got here, trying to get them to reattach their things back on to the new fence. She said she "had forgotten it was happening today and hadn't detached it yet." They have had loads of notice, and have been reminded many times. The first date was delayed, and she came bee-lining for us, saying she was scared we had changed our mind! Yesterday we cleared our garden, removwd privacy screens, which was asked them to move their stuff, as they have things all leaning the full way along the fence, and they haven't moved a single thing.

The neighbour was hovering around, you'd think they were paying for it! Even the fencing team seemed abit taken aback by it.

Anyway, I have just noticed the fencing company have kindly reattached their rotten little fence onto one of the new fence posts. I wanted to leave it laying on the ground.

They are scroungers, have probably more money than we do. Think, not bringing a contribution to a buffet, haggling type. One of my parents died, and some of the money they left is going towards it, which is causing me to be extra emotional about the whole thing.

AIBU? They have been so petty, uncooperative, and tbh bloody awkward from the start. It has made me petty. We paid for the entire thing, and they couldn't so much an move any of their stuff an inch away. One of the structures they have is pressed flat against the new fence frame, because the fencing company had literally build it with it there.

I realise there is nothing that can be done, it is shared, and are the mugs who have paid for it. Hopefully, the privacy will be worth it, as they've been an awkward presence in the garden for a long time, using what dh calls intimidation techniques. I won't go into those.

I think I just needed to rant more than anything. Thank you if you have had the patience to read this.

OP posts:
AMiaPettyBitch · 12/07/2024 05:07

The whole thing has caused me so much stress, which isn't worth my health. I have been losing weight, it isn't what I needed. I'm extra fragile due to my df dying, i have told Dh that I can't keep my emotions in check, and I am at breaking point, so I'm staying away if they come outside. I don't want to be petty, but I feel it!!
I've probably included too much detail, but I'm at a point where even if they are on here and read it, I don't care.

OP posts:
MrHarleyQuin · 12/07/2024 05:17

Good fences make good neighbours, or at least you don't get to look at the twats next door.

AMiaPettyBitch · 12/07/2024 05:31

MrHarleyQuin · 12/07/2024 05:17

Good fences make good neighbours, or at least you don't get to look at the twats next door.

Yes, exactly. I think I'll love not having to watch them keep popping up. The woman loves to station herself against the fence, then does a jack in the box pop up. They have a huge garden, yet they're always there 👀

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 12/07/2024 07:13

Oh, yes I hope they get Karma from their new neighbours OP 😈

Come back with any updates please! 🍿

AMiaPettyBitch · 12/07/2024 08:58

Justleaveitblankthen · 12/07/2024 07:13

Oh, yes I hope they get Karma from their new neighbours OP 😈

Come back with any updates please! 🍿

Haha, thank you, the team are here now, hammering the panels on, half of their garden is officially now blocked off 🎊

I feel awful for being like this, it is difficult to change feelings though! My goodwill has ran out.

I will definitely update, even if it is in a few months time. The company said they would do 7 foot instead of 6 for the same price, I am so pleased we went with that!

I have never had privacy in a backgarden since I was a child. I will not know myself!

OP posts:
Crinklycrisp · 12/07/2024 09:13

You need planning permission for a 7 foot fence, so I wouldn't upset the neighbours in case they report the new fence.

AMiaPettyBitch · 12/07/2024 09:53

Crinklycrisp · 12/07/2024 09:13

You need planning permission for a 7 foot fence, so I wouldn't upset the neighbours in case they report the new fence.

They agreed to the height, but you are right. But then again if they did complain I'd take the full lot down and replace with chicken wire 😂

OP posts:
Tara336 · 12/07/2024 13:12

@AMiaPettyBitch I honestly feel for you, I'd definitely do as your DH suggests and leave the old bit of fence the fencers reattached as he says at least it's been done properly and won't be done by next door who then cause damage.

I wish my neighbour would move but I doubt she will. I actually dread having any work done as she interferes every bloody time. If she can't get home to do it she sends her DF. This isn't for anything that actually affects her, the fence was the first thing where we had needed her co operation, but she came home to have a go at the fencers and was wagging her finger in their faces! I wish they had called me out when she was there as I'd have loved the opportunity to speak my mind.

We have had ridiculous behavior over the years. Police called because when we moved in our builder found an RSJ was not the correct size (previous owner extension) and needed urgent replacement, the only way to get it in was by 6 people lifting it and they were only available on Saturday morning. It didn't affect neighbour in any way at all but that didn't stop the drama.

She never ever complains to us just bullies trades. Really I should laugh as these are genuine complaints she's made.

DH washed his car, water went under the fence and made her tarmac wet.

Builder had sand on our drive she didn't want it blowing on her garden.

Builder lent a plank of wood on OUR fence

We had a new drive laid didn't want the tarmac lorry's bleeper going

We had a furniture delivery at 7am in the morning she leaves about 8.30 but rushed out to tell them they couldn't park there (mid unloading) as they were blocking her drive

Friend parked outside her house (not blocking drive) so she now gets all her visitors to park illegally (opposite a junction) outside our house which we are supposed to be annoyed about (but laugh as we don't care)

We had to replace the flat roof on previous dodgy extension as was leaking she sent her DF round to see what we were doing (we are not joined) and see who we were employing as apparently we employ cowboys! How or where that info came from I don't know.

That's just a little of what we have had to endure and after looking at the particulars when we bought I noticed that the "have there been disputes with neighbours" had been left blank..

AMiaPettyBitch · 13/07/2024 15:30

OMG @Tara336 your neighbour sounds like an absolute horror! I think when neighbours are so awkward like that, when people are having work done, it is pure jealousy. I was telling dh, they are to be pitied, because how can it be a happy life, to be so awkward with everything others do. Your neighbour needs to get a hobby!

And yes we left it, definately wasn't worth the hassle. The fencing company even went around their side (the woman didn't answer the door 🙄) to check everything was good, no mess etc. They haven't knocked or anything, have nothing to complain about. When dh drove past the neighbour, she dropped her head down, would have been too much energy to wave and say fence looks great! 🤔

OP posts:
AMiaPettyBitch · 13/07/2024 15:33

Now the painting saga will commence, when the weather improves, god help us.

It is amazing how much difference to my MH, it has made to look out, and see the fence; you cannot put a price on privacy, that's for sure! It was worth every penny!

OP posts:
Tara336 · 13/07/2024 16:05

@AMiaPettyBitch our house was the worst on the street, we thought it would just need a bit of tidying up and modernising but kept uncovering dodgy work done by previous owners some of it was really dangerous ie the too small lintel and the invented gas boiler (we were told we were lucky there wasn't an explosion). Nothing we have done has affected our neighbour in any way except replacing the fence recently and she or her DF have had something to say every time. .its very stressful to live with as your always on edge waiting for the next drama. She cried when we put planters on our drive down the dividing line, she had to be calmed down by her DF! We put the planters there as she kept moaning that we set foot on her side of the drive we thought she would be happy! Weirdly she never says a word to me always collars DH or the trades we've employed, maybe because I can be a right gobby cow if someone starts on me and maybe she sense that.

Honestly our next home will be in the middle of nowhere! We have lovely people around us just not next door

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