Divorce- is there a way to cut her out?

[cookiecrazylady]

Name changed for this as very outing but long time user.

Ok so I’m looking for controversial advice.
How best to cut a spouse out of profiting on the sale of a property.

My 23yo brother is disabled and got a big payout at 18 which he used to buy a house. It’s worth £250k he met a girl and they decided to get married. All seemed perfect until she convinced him to let her take out a £50k mortgage on the property but she was working so in her name (he was a student). She swiftly spent it, I’m talking £8k earrings, £3k handbags, £4K holiday (with her friends not him)…etc the whole family were raising eyebrows at this point but nothing we could do. 3 months after the wedding she left him. He was devestated, he really loved her. Now she’s demanding £50k cash over and above the mortgage being paid off.

Brother knows he’s been stupid but he has some mild learning disabilities and I do believe she just pulled the wool over his eyes so hard. Is there any way to avoid her getting anything other than the debts/mortgage cleared?

He’s taken legal advice but they only focus on how to proceed with her requests, I suppose I’m looking for a loophole or way out for him although I suspect it doesn’t exist.

Thanks

See a solicitor. Info online is not reliable.

Fair enough. Your original wording appeared to dismiss dyslexia as a genuine disability. It affects far more than literacy, particulalry organisation skills and the ability to understand complex matters and to respond quickly

Or saved themselves some money and go to the police.

So does she jointly own half the house?

I have a friend who was on a similar position re having the house before marriage. New husband put on deeds and on small mortgage. They were married for 15 years and got divorced. The split was 80/20 to her because the house had been hers before the marriage. Not sure if that helps.

Your brother needs a good lawyer who will fight his corner. A three month marriage, with financial abuse of a vulnerable adult needs a lawyer who will fight. If you want to help then I’d start getting recommendations for lawyers and doing some research on local firms. You can lot from websites…the ‘best for our client’ vibe vs ‘fair for everyone’ vibe.

That doesn't alter the fact that you are wrong . . . 🙄

How is this a criminal matter ?

He bought a house and presumably his family and his solicitor thought he was legally competent to do so.

Then he went to university AND got Married AND transferred part of the ownership of the property to him and again no one raised concerns about any of this.

But now he’s getting divorced and she wants money , suddenly everyone is suggesting that he isn’t competent to make his own decisions. IANAL but I don’t see how that’s going to work as an argument .

Yes of course he’s been a fool, but he wouldn’t listen to family advice and this is what happens when you are young, arrogant and rich and fall for an abuser. It’s very sad but it’s not a crime.

She will argue that she supported him through his studies ( which seems to be true ) and that they both spend the money that they borrowed against the property ( can you disprove this ? ). There’s no such thing as “ his half of living expenses “ when they were a a married couple .

Where did the £50k go - into a joint account or her alone? Make sure he gets a copy of all his and any joint bank statements and credit cards .

Op I understand your anger and upset for your brother, but the best solution here is going to be one negotiated by a good solicitor , to avoid going to court for the divorce.

I would seek legal advice because any claim that he has capacity issues could cause a lot more issues with the mortgage and bank!

He can't have lack of capacity for one part of the transaction and not the other.

Everyone’s talking about abuse of a disabled person & power of attorney, but nothing I’m seeing from OP suggests that level of disability. OP says “mild learning disability” and he’s living alone in a house he owns independently (no trustee or conservator to manage his financials), attending university and (now it sounds like he’s moved on to graduate school). Most cases of being young, foolish and in love are not related to a disability.

OP, is your brother asking for your help to “cut her out” or are you inserting yourself into his divorce? If it’s the latter, do you actually think a court would see him as incapable of making financial & life decisions for himself? Going that route is likely to have serious impacts on his life well beyond this divorce.

Apologies, that wasn't my intention.

Child Exploitation covers young people up to the age of 25 years where there is a disability (including SEND).

You may find something helpful there.

If your brother lacks mental capacity to understand the implications of putting her on the deeds to the house and the fact she spent the mortgage on jewellery and handbags and left after 3 months I am sure there are laws on this sort of thing and whether they fall under criminal or civil laws

With your brother’s mental disability there is an argument that he couldn’t actually give consent to anything surrounding deeds and mortgages

Interested to know what was put down on the mortgage application forms for the reason to mortgage the house
Can’t believe that they would hand over £50k to be spent on handbags
I presume it was his wife who filled out the forms

I think your brother also needs to be assessed on how badly he needs someone to look after his finances etc

What a shame he didn't listen to your concerns. Live and learn. This likely will end up being an expensive lesson. It's too bad his payout wasn't placed in trust till age 25 or 30.

Only a solicitor can really advise him.

Your brother could be a victim of financial abuse regardless of his mental capacity. It can be a police matter as could be considered coercive control. Might be worth speaking to lawyer, social services and the police.

If he has LD and ex hasn’t I’d be looking at coercion. I think you need more of a specialist lawyer, maybe contact one of the learning disability charities, or Citizens Advice to see if that’s possible.

The solicitor who did the transfer should have advised him to get independent legal advice. I’d potentially look to see whether he was advised, and if not I might consider going down that route.

This was quite a few years ago but a friend of mine owned her house prior to her marriage, when they were divorcing there was no question about the ownership of the house but she discovered that her husband had fraudulently borrowed a large sum of money with the house as security and she was liable for the debt. Luckily he was a senior NCO in the Army and one visit to his CO had him paying up pretty smartish.

No it's not, it's a learning difficulty. Learning disability is a different diagnosis.

Get legal advice from a different solicitor. They do vary in approaches. Worth talking to several to get the whole picture

So I understand now. Had the original said "an actual diagnosed learning disability as opposed to an actual diagnosed learning difficulty (like dyslexia)" I would have had no problem. The original phrasing suggested that dyslexia was an excuse rather than a diagnosis and a recognised disability under the Equality Act which has a substantial and long term adverse effect on day to day life.

I don’t think he’s mentally impaired enough to be classed as a ‘vulnerable adult’ and is capable of going about his daily business but he does need support with organisation and executive functioning skills. He often struggles with paperwork and processing new information. He can’t manage official phone calls and struggles to vocally represent himself. Generally knows what he wants to say but struggles to put the argument together in his head, if that makes sense.
She was very vocal and confident. She did 85% of the talking whenever we were around them and sort of ran circles around him.

His disability is mostly physical the learning disability is secondary.

Objectively I do believe there was coercive behaviours and emotional abuse. They simply were not equally matched in their intellect or ability. That being said he’s never going to fight that because he’s terrified she’ll just try to say he abused her and turn the whole thing around. No real evidence on either side so one word against the other really.

Can he have a legal guardian, recognised by the Family Court?

His learning disabilities would warrant this, perhaps?

in your update Op
you confirm nothing to indicate that you have a clear idea about this situation
your brother is a student with “mild” learning difficulties

I would go with your brother to get legal advice so you can process what he is actually being told.

In view of the facts ie. she took out and was repaying the mortgage and used the whole £50k and the very short marriage they may deem the split to be as suggested above 80/20 and it could be argued she already had the benefit of the £50k cash which was 20%.

Please go with him to get legal advice as you say he can't process such information. It may not be as bleak as you fear bearing in mind the background story and 3 month marriage and the manner in which his house purchase was funded. Lawyer up!