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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I stood at a concert

694 replies

MangosteenSoda · 11/07/2024 01:12

Went to a concert and had a seat to the side of the stage. In my experience, everyone stands when the act comes on. This didn’t happen universally, but probably around a quarter of the crowd started by standing. I was a little in front of most of the other ‘standers’ and sort of leaned on my seat a bit to minimise myself I suppose, but wanted to enjoy the songs and not sit.

A few songs in, a lady behind me tapped my arm and asked me to sit because her boyfriend/husband (sitting next to her) couldn’t see. I just said, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a concert’ and carried on standing. I’m pretty small and there were massive screens and a stage. I don’t think I blocked it all out.

A few songs later, the ‘very popular and famous’ song was performed and everyone stood up including the woman and her boyfriend. After that, most of the crowd continued standing and a bunch of people were dancing like windmills and nobody bothered them. The angry man and his girlfriend stormed out at this point.

I don’t have a particular aibu, but I felt that I was only asked to sit because I looked like an easy target to ask. It annoyed me that the woman had to ask for the guy and that it was put to me that I should sit because this guy’s preference was all important. I also felt sad for the woman because she was wearing the band T Shirt (so I assumed she was the fan) and this guy seemed to ruin her night with his moans and complaints while she just seemed to want to dance and enjoy the concert like everyone else.

So, should there be areas at concerts where everyone has to stay seated? I don’t think all the seating areas should be this way because they outnumber the floor and it would make for pretty sedentary concerts but maybe a compromise somewhere?

OP posts:
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CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 13:40

And from the Utilita Arena in Birmingham...

I stood at a concert
GeraniumLeaves · 15/07/2024 13:40

It's not selfish if it's actually allowed. It's just the norm. It would be selfish to do it if it wasn't against the venue's rules and you just ignored the rules for your own benefit.

Yes, this is just like the outrage over people reclining plane seats. In the real world, it’s obviously a feature that appeals to and is taken advantage of by most.

Selfish would be if there were rules or a social consensus not to do these things. There isn’t. You can just as easily say it’s selfish to expect people to sit at a concert or sit bolt upright on a long haul flight - even more so, in fact, as you’re expecting the majority to conform to your wishes.

TheProphecy · 15/07/2024 13:48

Tiredalwaystired · 15/07/2024 12:31

I don’t think that matters - you’re itching for a fight here where I have none You explain your situation with me (I’m sorry I’ll need to stand for a bit, but I’ll try not to do it for too long so I don’t block your view) stand for as long as you need to be physically comfortable again and then sit down. The person behind needs to be as understanding of you as you are of them.

I’m genuinely not itching for a fight. Not at all. I’m presenting a different view. It’s difficult when people have conflicting needs, that’s all.

beanii · 15/07/2024 13:59

northernbeee · 15/07/2024 09:49

Concerts are a place where you need to look around and act accordingly. If its a seated concert and people behind you are seated, don't stand up - if you want to stand up move to somewhere you aren't blocking someones view. Imagine paying good money to go to a seated concert and the person in front of you stands for the while thing!

I ask them to sit down. More people should.

I have 20 screws and 2 rods in my spine - I can't stand for long.

If they refused, I'd get the stewards to ask them.

You usually find it's a ripple effect - one person stands and instead of the person behind asking them to sit down, they stand up to - and so on.

There's zero excuse - you know if you're booking a seat so act accordingly.

beanii · 15/07/2024 14:01

Victoriancat · 15/07/2024 07:56

I had a seated concert with my mam for a present as she's disabled, someone stood in front of her the whole time and refused to sit down, some people are just rude as Hell and should book standing.

Next time get security.

Tiredalwaystired · 15/07/2024 14:02

TheProphecy · 15/07/2024 13:48

I’m genuinely not itching for a fight. Not at all. I’m presenting a different view. It’s difficult when people have conflicting needs, that’s all.

But surely in my example both needs are met? You stand when you need to and then you sit so the person behind can see. That’s meeting needs. Meeting wants is a different thing but that’s where kindness (from both sides) comes in

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:02

beanii · 15/07/2024 14:01

Next time get security.

LOL

To do what? They've not broke any rules.

beanii · 15/07/2024 14:05

MrLambertsPersonalAssistant · 14/07/2024 19:22

YANBU at all!!

On the tickets in small print it always states ‘People Around You May Stand’ and whilst I fully appreciate that there are reasons why people aren’t able to stand, equally there are people that do want to stand!

I have been to hundreds and hundreds if not a thousand gigs and concerts (I’m 59 and have been going since I was 15) and my preference is to stand but sometimes they are all seated and standing tickets are not available. I always try to get a seat as near the front as possible to be amongst people who will be up on their feet but if I want to stand up and dance then I will - there are always the people who sit welded to their seat not even swaying or singing (why are they even there ?🤔) and looking po-faced

In America they never have standing tickets (in Vegas they allowed people in Seats 1 & 2 for the first few rows to stand at the barrier but this was controlled to the extreme!) so at a concert there I moved to the side - no problem and everyone was happy…..and moving even if not able to stand

Carry on enjoying yourself!

Why are they there? To enjoy the music - you can just sit and enjoy it.

If you want to stand and dance either move to the aisle or go to a nightclub.

Possinass · 15/07/2024 14:18

beanii · 15/07/2024 14:01

Next time get security.

And what are security going to do if an entire block of hundreds of people are standing up? AND it's allowed?

This was a concert recently. What exactly is security going to do to get ALL these people to sit down?

And this was fairly near the front. Imagine being another 50 rows back and trying to get 3 times that amount of people to sit down? Especially in the middle of a row. How are security getting their attention? What is people start arguing and saying no because it's allowed?

I stood at a concert
CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:19

beanii · 15/07/2024 14:05

Why are they there? To enjoy the music - you can just sit and enjoy it.

If you want to stand and dance either move to the aisle or go to a nightclub.

You can also sit and enjoy the music without seeing it. HTH.

Krumblina · 15/07/2024 14:22

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:19

You can also sit and enjoy the music without seeing it. HTH.

Do you genuinely think that's comparable?

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:26

Never said it was @Krumblina but, it's a bare fact. You can.

Krumblina · 15/07/2024 14:28

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:26

Never said it was @Krumblina but, it's a bare fact. You can.

Ok so do you?

Borborygmus · 15/07/2024 14:33

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:19

You can also sit and enjoy the music without seeing it. HTH.

If you can't see it, you may as well just listen to it at home!

Drfosters · 15/07/2024 14:34

1offnamechange · 15/07/2024 11:14

Obviously people are referring to stadium gigs because your average student union or small night club venue doesn't HAVE seated tickets therefore there's no argument!

Now you're being condescending towards "pop" concerts but I don't remember the 70,000ish audience in muse at Wembley or rammnstein in the principality all sitting down politely (or just "swaying a bit") either?

Come on give us example of all the gigs youve been to in venues large enough to have a majority of seated tickets where the audience just "swayed slightly" in their seats. Because they sound like great fun.

If your point made sense and there were only actually a small minority in every gig who wanted to stand and everyone else is standing resentfully as a consequence of being behind them then it's a bit of a coincidence that they all end up in the front rows of blocks of seating, isn't it? Otherwise they would just pop up individually and there would be multiple rows of people sitting before the first weirdo selfish stander???

Edited

Saw Bruce Springsteen recently plus imagine dragons. Also saw Bon Jovi a few years ago plus U2 and goo goo dolls not so long ago. Everyone stayed seated until pretty much the end when they did their most catchy, dancy numbers. I have never actually been to a stadium concert (and I have been to a lot) where every stood for the entire thing. Smaller gigs yes but for the most part most people sit to enjoy the music and have a boogey at the end when it ramps up.

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:59

Saw Bruce Springsteen recently plus imagine dragons. Also saw Bon Jovi a few years ago plus U2 and goo goo dolls not so long ago.

Think that might say more about the demographic to be fair.

beanii · 15/07/2024 15:01

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:19

You can also sit and enjoy the music without seeing it. HTH.

But people have paid to SEE the performance.

Yadelaide · 15/07/2024 15:13

beanii · 15/07/2024 15:01

But people have paid to SEE the performance.

Ableist. Do you think blind people cannot enjoy live music?

Noosnom · 15/07/2024 15:15

"Saw Bruce Springsteen recently plus imagine dragons. Also saw Bon Jovi a few years ago plus U2 and goo goo dolls not so long ago. Everyone stayed seated...."

They'll be mostly older fans at those gigs though.

Nuglife · 15/07/2024 15:22

Wow! Everyone getting salty over OP standing at a literal rock concert is completely wild! If the OP had been jumping up and down screaming during an orchestral rendition of the lark ascending I could understand everyone getting sandy flaps about it, but she’s not. She’s singing and dancing on her feet at a rock concert-something which is encouraged and expected. Majority of mumsnetters live in an absolute fantasy world-I’ve never been to a gig where the majority of people sat down and if I did I would think it had been a total flop! Absolutely not being unreasonable OP! The majority of mumsnet just enjoys a spot of pearl clutching and having a moan, presumably while firmly seated.

Drfosters · 15/07/2024 15:26

CandiedPrincess · 15/07/2024 14:59

Saw Bruce Springsteen recently plus imagine dragons. Also saw Bon Jovi a few years ago plus U2 and goo goo dolls not so long ago.

Think that might say more about the demographic to be fair.

Been like that for 30 years! Most people were much younger then! And to be fair when we went last year there were quite a lot of young people!

Drfosters · 15/07/2024 15:27

Drfosters · 15/07/2024 15:26

Been like that for 30 years! Most people were much younger then! And to be fair when we went last year there were quite a lot of young people!

And I’m only 40 so not that long in the tooth yet!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 15/07/2024 15:37

Maybe security should stop the show and say the act will only continue when everyone has started back down 🤣

Noosnom · 15/07/2024 16:24

I stood at U2 and Bon Jovi in the 90's.
The thought of sitting at a gig has really put me off seeing older acts that I've so far missed.

runrabbitruns · 15/07/2024 16:35

If you want to dance you need to buy stall tickets. You can’t have it both ways . You either choose a seated ticket (clue is in the name) or a standing ticket.