I stood at a concert

[MangosteenSoda]

Went to a concert and had a seat to the side of the stage. In my experience, everyone stands when the act comes on. This didn’t happen universally, but probably around a quarter of the crowd started by standing. I was a little in front of most of the other ‘standers’ and sort of leaned on my seat a bit to minimise myself I suppose, but wanted to enjoy the songs and not sit.

A few songs in, a lady behind me tapped my arm and asked me to sit because her boyfriend/husband (sitting next to her) couldn’t see. I just said, ‘I’m sorry, but this is a concert’ and carried on standing. I’m pretty small and there were massive screens and a stage. I don’t think I blocked it all out.

A few songs later, the ‘very popular and famous’ song was performed and everyone stood up including the woman and her boyfriend. After that, most of the crowd continued standing and a bunch of people were dancing like windmills and nobody bothered them. The angry man and his girlfriend stormed out at this point.

I don’t have a particular aibu, but I felt that I was only asked to sit because I looked like an easy target to ask. It annoyed me that the woman had to ask for the guy and that it was put to me that I should sit because this guy’s preference was all important. I also felt sad for the woman because she was wearing the band T Shirt (so I assumed she was the fan) and this guy seemed to ruin her night with his moans and complaints while she just seemed to want to dance and enjoy the concert like everyone else.

So, should there be areas at concerts where everyone has to stay seated? I don’t think all the seating areas should be this way because they outnumber the floor and it would make for pretty sedentary concerts but maybe a compromise somewhere?

This would be me, sadly. DP and I no longer go to gigs because people tend to stand even when they have bought seats.

People can't expect seated gigs to be guaranteed seated

say what???

if people want to stand, they should buy standing tickets.

of course those of us buying seated tickets expect it to be seated! & to be able to actually see the concert.

Even though it explicitly states on tickets and venue websites and posters around venues that "people around you may stand for the concert"

Why are you so annoyed with people doing what they are allowed to do? Is it because you expect everyone to do as you do?

No. Everyone can do what they want. People can sit if they want, I've never said everyone has to stand up, you're just making that up.

So your access needs matter but not other people's. Interesting.

I'm not impinging on what others do by having a seat available to me. And in fact there's lots of stuff that happens routinely that I struggle with, like music being played in shops, and I have to just put up with it.
I think it's very unreasonable to expect everyone to sit down at a concert. It's an event for music and dancing!

You are impinging on others by literally making it impossible for them to see the show they've paid to see. If I stood in front of you at the cinema would that not be impinging on you?
Your actually affecting people a lot more than shops playing music.

I've sat behind selfish arsed like you, in the past.

I’m really not bothered if people in seats stand up in front of me. I fully expect it at a concert. Similarly, if I’m standing I often end up behind someone tall which spoils my view but that’s my tough luck.

I would love to be in the standing section but my dodgy back can’t cope with it. Also, I’ve been to many gigs where pitch tickets have sold out and only seated left.

I usually sit through most but might stand for the odd song.

You write: "Surely not being able to stand and dance is only a minor inconvenience whereas not being able to see a thing the entire concert is quite a major thing?"

That is your assumption, but I can assure you you are wrong. It would not have been a minor inconvenience to my DD and her friends at the Eras tour if they had been told to sit. It would have absolutely ruined the experience for them. They would probably have been too polite to say no, but be absolutely gutted inside.

Seated tickets often carry a warning that people around you may stand, only thing you can do is pick a seat on the front row of a section, assuming the venue is pitched

This! I like seated tickets and don't mind standing for some songs, but have some respect for the people behind you!

Would she have been more or less gutted if she'd been blocked from seeing the show completely? Like those people that ended up behind big tent things?

They would definitely have been more gutted about not being able to dance than not being able to see. We had obstructed view behind the stage, so mostly watched the screens anyway.

I mean not able to see at all. Not even screens

They would have still been more gutted not to be able to stand up and dance. Not seeing anything would have sucked, yes, but the request to sit down would have crushed them. Before we got tickets we were all prepared to be outside the stadium so they could maybe at least hear the show, and hang out, dance and sing along with fellow Swifties. That is what the experience is all about. They're fans. They want to embrace those emotions and that enthusiasm and spirit.

Don't go to these types of shows where you know standing is the norm if you cannot stand up and will be annoyed if that means you cannot see. Write to the venue to make accommodations and advocate for more accessible seats, but don't stop people from dancing and experiencing the show with their whole bodies. I cannot believe how many people cannot see how utterly selfish such a request is.

‘…but don't stop people from dancing and experiencing the show with their whole bodies. I cannot believe how many people cannot see how utterly selfish such a request is.’

But you could equally argue that those that want to dance and stand are selfish, because they’re preventing those that want to sit and enjoy the show from seeing the act .

I think I’m in the 50:50 camp. Big, lively numbers , get up and dance, and most people seem to accept this, even the ‘sitters’, but not for the whole show.

Obviously if you stood in front of the screen at the cinema you're an arsenal
That's in no way the same as standing at a concert of rock or pop music

Most venues don't have standing areas. Where are the standing areas at Hammersmith Apollo, or the Albert Hall, or The Sage, in Gateshead, for example. Standing areas are not that common. A lot of music still happens in theatres

Ah, the parallel universe of MN where a single chicken feeds a family of five for a week, no one answers a knock on the door and everyone expects to sit through a rock show 😁

I’m sorry for the sitters because it is perfectly reasonable to want to enjoy the show you have paid for in the way that works best for you. However, it’s completely at odds with what actually happens in live music venues and I’m amazed at how many people refuse to believe it.

At the concert in question, pretty much everyone was standing from song 8 out of a 28 song set list. I think the band probably intended this because they played their most well known song at position 8.

However, it’s completely at odds with what actually happens in live music venues and I’m amazed at how many people refuse to believe it.

Your experience does not tally with my experience. No need to be 'amazed'. You were selfish. You clearly don't want to own that so not sure why you posted tbh.

“Your experience does not tally with my experience.”

Snap!

That just shows your ignorance of neurodivergence. Being bombarded with noise in everyday life affects me a lot more than someone might be by having to look around someone at a concert. It induces anxiety, makes it almost impossible for me to think or focus or hear/talk to my children (because I can't filter sounds so I hear everything at the same level of volume), raises my heart rate, and means I have to leave as quickly as I can. I actually don't go shopping physically any more as a result.
I don't think people standing at a concert, which they have done for decades, is in any way comparable.
Even if people are standing, it's possible to look through the gaps because concerts are usually in a huge rake, and there are big screens you can watch easily. It's only the same for everyone standing anyway, because all the heads just get raised up the same, it's not like anyone gets a better view by standing, it's about being able to dance and enjoy the music, which is what people have paid to do.

I'm probably not going to reply to you any more now, because having to explain and justify my neurodivergence takes too much energy and is upsetting.

Well, I posted because I was interested in the responses. And because I posed the question of seated only sections which a lot of people seem to agree with but which you haven’t mentioned.

I don’t think I was particularly selfish to stand at an event where standing is allowed and encouraged. Ideally, everyone would have stood at the same time and I was a bit self conscious of being in the first 25% but my favourite songs were at the beginning of the set 🤷🏻‍♀️

I actually feel much less bad about annoying people off the back of this thread because the posters who are outraged and who don’t seem to think separate areas would be a workable solution, strike me as being the professionally annoyed sort of people who are looking for ire around every corner.

So you wouldn't go in the standing area because your view would be blocked.
So your solution is you want to go block the view of people in the seating area....