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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to end this friendship over this?

71 replies

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:05

A friend and I both went to the British Grand Prix this past weekend. We're both in our late twenties, and have been friends for nearly a decade. Before this weekend, I would've called her my best friend.

For context, this friend has always been spoilt by her mum, but I had never really got a taste of just how bad it was. She was in a minor car accident about 7 weeks ago, and at the time had "severe" bruising to her legs. Since then, she has said she cannot walk for more than 10 minutes at a time, and was signed off sick. Her work told her if she went to the Grand Prix, she had to go back to work, as she would be active all day for the entire weekend.

The first problem was she ended up being over two hours late. She was supposed to prick me up from the station, left two hours later than she was supposed to and then ended up leaving me to walk about two miles to a spot where she could pick me up - promising me she was only 5 minutes away the entire time.

Then she, to put it simply, had tantrums both days. On the Saturday it was because the weather was bad and she wanted to upgrade to a grandstand ticket - I said no, when I booked the tickets in September I had asked if she wanted a grandstand ticket. She said no. Our original tickets were £259, the cheapest grandstand tickets when I booked were around £450, if I remember correctly. On the Saturday, she wanted to spend £150 to upgrade for just the Sunday. I explained this was too expensive and she kicked off. She whinged, cried and sulked, and ignored me for the rest of the day.

We ended up in a pretty rubbish spot as we had general admission and had got to the track around 11:30. So we agreed that on the Sunday we would leave around 7, with an aim of getting to the track for 9am ish.

On the Sunday, she threw a tantrum because her phone hadn't connected to the car properly, and she hadn't wanted to leave as early as we did. She was slamming her hands against the steering wheel, crying that she couldn't drive without music and swerving all over the road. Again, she ignored me for the whole day, choosing to spend her day with her head buried in her phone and on the phone to her entire family (mum, grandmother, brothers, aunties, uncles). She barely spoke to me and I had to stand there on my own like a bit of an idiot.

We get to the track and it's sunny, so I buy a hat (Ferrari fan), she looks me up and down, laughs and says I look stupid. She comments a few times that I'm stupid and should be a fan of another team.

The race ends, I wanted to stay and watch the podium ceremony - she said no because she wanted to go. Fine, I went, it was a shame but I caught up on it later. We got directed to leave one way, and she whines the entire way because we walked a bit further. She was crying saying her legs hurt and it was my fault as if we had gone the other way (that we were told we could not follow) we would've got there quicker. We wouldn't have, it was the same distance, just inside the track instead of outside.

The entire weekend just felt like it was a petty, school child level trip. Everything I said was met with a snarky comment and she continually told me I was stupid and and idiot.

Driving back from the circuit she ignores me again, kicked me out of her car at my hotel and has sent me a cleaning bill for the boot of her car - because her muddy shoes were in the back!!! I had wrapped mine up in a rain poncho on her instructions.

Apart from that text, she hasn't spoken to me since. I have texted a couple times to ask how going back to work was, and some F1 news, and she has read the messages and not answered.

To be honest I felt like an idiot the entire weekend. I would've been better off going on my own and I really regret going, even though it was an amazing weekend I hated every second I spent with her.

DH says I'm silly for ending a nearly ten year long friendship over one bad weekend. I feel like I can't be friends with her after she acted so stupid and childish for the weekend. AIBU to block her and not speak to her again?

OP posts:
ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:08

Jeez, sorry, didn't realise how long this was! I think I needed to rant because every time I mention it to DH he rolls his eyes and says I'm being silly

OP posts:
ChristmasPostman · 10/07/2024 16:08

Once someone shows you who they are…..you know the rest. Dump and move onwards and upwards.

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:15

ChristmasPostman · 10/07/2024 16:08

Once someone shows you who they are…..you know the rest. Dump and move onwards and upwards.

Very true. DH just keeps focussing on the fact I'm bothered by her comments about what I was wearing and the dangerous driving, he thinks I'm being childish

OP posts:
Bellabatwings · 10/07/2024 16:17

Jesus!!
Do not waste another minute on this fool!
I have no idea why your DH is minimising her behaviour as she sounds unbearable!!

She wasted what should have been a great weekend with her carry on, i would never speak to her again, she has treated you like shit.
fool me once and all that…

Nothingeverything · 10/07/2024 16:17

Sorry but nobody needs friends like that!

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:18

Bellabatwings · 10/07/2024 16:17

Jesus!!
Do not waste another minute on this fool!
I have no idea why your DH is minimising her behaviour as she sounds unbearable!!

She wasted what should have been a great weekend with her carry on, i would never speak to her again, she has treated you like shit.
fool me once and all that…

I'm glad I managed to still enjoy the actual race etc. as it was a special weekend for me, but she really did ruin it with her attitude and how she spoke to me

OP posts:
Fannyfiggs · 10/07/2024 16:20

Dump your 'friend'. She's a grade A arsehole.

And, if your husband doesn't stop minimising your feelings and calling you 'silly', dump that arsehole too!!

Renamedyetagain · 10/07/2024 16:21

Some parents really do fuck up their children; zero independence, resilience, maturity, respect, manners.....

Get rid!

Lifelover16 · 10/07/2024 16:21

She spoilt what should have been a great weekend at the GP. She doesn’t sound much of a friend to me. I’d just let it drift .

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:22

Renamedyetagain · 10/07/2024 16:21

Some parents really do fuck up their children; zero independence, resilience, maturity, respect, manners.....

Get rid!

Sums her up to a tee. She was driving at 45 on the motorway and blaring her horn at everyone who overtook her! She just showed a totally different side to herself

OP posts:
Cattery · 10/07/2024 16:22

Bin

xxSideshowAuntSallyxx · 10/07/2024 16:22

I can't believe there are adults that behave that way but then I remember the strop my ex once had, slamming the car seat right back into someone

I also had a friend who was the eternal victim. She used to send me messages telling me what I had done wrong because she "believed in honesty" and it was always my fault. I don't speak to her anymore.

I'd ignore her, and move on. She ruined what should have been a good, fun weekend.

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:28

xxSideshowAuntSallyxx · 10/07/2024 16:22

I can't believe there are adults that behave that way but then I remember the strop my ex once had, slamming the car seat right back into someone

I also had a friend who was the eternal victim. She used to send me messages telling me what I had done wrong because she "believed in honesty" and it was always my fault. I don't speak to her anymore.

I'd ignore her, and move on. She ruined what should have been a good, fun weekend.

Her driving was honestly scary - I'd seen online about people who do that to scare the people they're with but never understood it before Saturday

I just find it so astonishing she's a fully grown adult and acting like that

OP posts:
LadyWhistled0wn · 10/07/2024 16:38

She sounds like a spoilt brat, I'd delete her number.

LadyWhistled0wn · 10/07/2024 16:39

@ChunkyChips76 and now you know why she was in a car accident, she clearly cannot drive safely.

Proudbitch · 10/07/2024 16:39

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:15

Very true. DH just keeps focussing on the fact I'm bothered by her comments about what I was wearing and the dangerous driving, he thinks I'm being childish

Absolutely please don’t think you are being childish.

And don’t ever get in the car with her again! I don’t know you, but I want you (and others on the road!) to be safe please.

fairydust11 · 10/07/2024 16:39

Yanbu.
Who needs friends like this? I honestly wouldn’t speak to her again, why have you texted her after she treated you like crap?
I’m surprised you are you even questioning this, plus I’m surprised your DH thinks you’re being silly about even thinking of removing her from your life.
She sounds like a complete idiot.

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:41

LadyWhistled0wn · 10/07/2024 16:39

@ChunkyChips76 and now you know why she was in a car accident, she clearly cannot drive safely.

Very true, it's likely the dancing in her seat, swerving when she looks in her mirror and constant fiddling with her hair that did it!

@Proudbitch definitely never, EVER getting in a car with her again. It was terrifying.

@fairydust11 in his defence I think I maybe am being a little silly about her comments about what I was wearing. It just upset me because I felt a bit out of place as a woman at a mainly male event, and then she said that. Just frustrating all around

OP posts:
DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 10/07/2024 16:45

Has she never been anything like this before??

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 10/07/2024 16:45

You're well rid of her but are unfortunately still stuck with the husband.

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:49

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 10/07/2024 16:45

Has she never been anything like this before??

Nope - it was the first time for each of us. Gutted it went like this

OP posts:
moose62 · 10/07/2024 16:54

I'm a huge F1 fan and love Silverstone. It is not a cheap weekend and if someone ruined that for me by being petty, they would be blocked!

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:55

moose62 · 10/07/2024 16:54

I'm a huge F1 fan and love Silverstone. It is not a cheap weekend and if someone ruined that for me by being petty, they would be blocked!

Especially this weekend of all weekends - I wanted to stay to watch the historic podium but she said no as her favourite driver came 3rd!! Like come on, are we still at school?!

OP posts:
Blubbled · 10/07/2024 17:03

Fannyfiggs · 10/07/2024 16:20

Dump your 'friend'. She's a grade A arsehole.

And, if your husband doesn't stop minimising your feelings and calling you 'silly', dump that arsehole too!!

I'm also struck by how your H is dismissing your understandable upset and telling you you're being "silly"! I don't like that at all! She was a long standing friend and her behaviour was inexcusable and of course you feel hurt and upset! You need to find your anger too though! Sending you the bill for cleaning her car is a thundering cheek and I would ignore it but I'd be raging and would expect my H to empathise with my anger, as well as my hurt, not be just another person who puts me down! Does he have form for rubbishing your upset when you've been badly treated or is he normally supportive? If the latter, sit him down and talk to him. If the former, maybe it's not just the so-called friend who needs to be evicted from your life. Constantly telling someone close to you that they are wrong to be upset/hurt/ angry when they have good cause is not loving behaviour OP.
Anyway, you've every right to be upset and end the friendship and I'm sorry, it's always a sad thing to have to do, even if you can't stand the person anymore!
YANBU to dump the "friend" and have a good think about your H as well!

Tablesalt111 · 10/07/2024 17:06

Op I'm surprised at your husband!! He really doesn't have your back does he!

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