Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to end this friendship over this?

71 replies

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:05

A friend and I both went to the British Grand Prix this past weekend. We're both in our late twenties, and have been friends for nearly a decade. Before this weekend, I would've called her my best friend.

For context, this friend has always been spoilt by her mum, but I had never really got a taste of just how bad it was. She was in a minor car accident about 7 weeks ago, and at the time had "severe" bruising to her legs. Since then, she has said she cannot walk for more than 10 minutes at a time, and was signed off sick. Her work told her if she went to the Grand Prix, she had to go back to work, as she would be active all day for the entire weekend.

The first problem was she ended up being over two hours late. She was supposed to prick me up from the station, left two hours later than she was supposed to and then ended up leaving me to walk about two miles to a spot where she could pick me up - promising me she was only 5 minutes away the entire time.

Then she, to put it simply, had tantrums both days. On the Saturday it was because the weather was bad and she wanted to upgrade to a grandstand ticket - I said no, when I booked the tickets in September I had asked if she wanted a grandstand ticket. She said no. Our original tickets were £259, the cheapest grandstand tickets when I booked were around £450, if I remember correctly. On the Saturday, she wanted to spend £150 to upgrade for just the Sunday. I explained this was too expensive and she kicked off. She whinged, cried and sulked, and ignored me for the rest of the day.

We ended up in a pretty rubbish spot as we had general admission and had got to the track around 11:30. So we agreed that on the Sunday we would leave around 7, with an aim of getting to the track for 9am ish.

On the Sunday, she threw a tantrum because her phone hadn't connected to the car properly, and she hadn't wanted to leave as early as we did. She was slamming her hands against the steering wheel, crying that she couldn't drive without music and swerving all over the road. Again, she ignored me for the whole day, choosing to spend her day with her head buried in her phone and on the phone to her entire family (mum, grandmother, brothers, aunties, uncles). She barely spoke to me and I had to stand there on my own like a bit of an idiot.

We get to the track and it's sunny, so I buy a hat (Ferrari fan), she looks me up and down, laughs and says I look stupid. She comments a few times that I'm stupid and should be a fan of another team.

The race ends, I wanted to stay and watch the podium ceremony - she said no because she wanted to go. Fine, I went, it was a shame but I caught up on it later. We got directed to leave one way, and she whines the entire way because we walked a bit further. She was crying saying her legs hurt and it was my fault as if we had gone the other way (that we were told we could not follow) we would've got there quicker. We wouldn't have, it was the same distance, just inside the track instead of outside.

The entire weekend just felt like it was a petty, school child level trip. Everything I said was met with a snarky comment and she continually told me I was stupid and and idiot.

Driving back from the circuit she ignores me again, kicked me out of her car at my hotel and has sent me a cleaning bill for the boot of her car - because her muddy shoes were in the back!!! I had wrapped mine up in a rain poncho on her instructions.

Apart from that text, she hasn't spoken to me since. I have texted a couple times to ask how going back to work was, and some F1 news, and she has read the messages and not answered.

To be honest I felt like an idiot the entire weekend. I would've been better off going on my own and I really regret going, even though it was an amazing weekend I hated every second I spent with her.

DH says I'm silly for ending a nearly ten year long friendship over one bad weekend. I feel like I can't be friends with her after she acted so stupid and childish for the weekend. AIBU to block her and not speak to her again?

OP posts:
DoYouSmokePaul · 10/07/2024 17:58

Sounds like a day out with my three year old niece! That would be it for me.

WeeOrcadian · 10/07/2024 18:01

She sounds like an insufferable grown child

Fuck that OP

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 18:09

Definitely cutting her off. I just can't be bothered for any more of this if we went on any more trips

OP posts:
Fluffytoebeanz · 10/07/2024 18:29

I suspect her employer has also got their eye on her. She sounds like a complete liability

ShinyPebble32 · 10/07/2024 18:35

Oh bless you, I wished you’d posted this at the weekend and I would have come and found you and rescued you! My 5yo was 100 times better behaved than this.
Even if this is totally out of character for her and she’s having some kind of breakdown, that’s no excuse for being so horrible to you. It should have been a fantastic weekend for you, god know it costs enough, and she’s ruined it! Unforgivable.

Nevermind31 · 10/07/2024 18:38

Seems like one of those friendships that will fade away. Just stop putting in the effort and stop organising anything with her

CedarFence · 10/07/2024 18:38

Well, she’s not replying to your messages so she seems to be absenting herself from the friendship anyway.

I am boggled that anyone pays to get their car boot cleaned if a bit of mud. Pays!!!!

BowlOfNoodles · 10/07/2024 18:43

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 16:05

A friend and I both went to the British Grand Prix this past weekend. We're both in our late twenties, and have been friends for nearly a decade. Before this weekend, I would've called her my best friend.

For context, this friend has always been spoilt by her mum, but I had never really got a taste of just how bad it was. She was in a minor car accident about 7 weeks ago, and at the time had "severe" bruising to her legs. Since then, she has said she cannot walk for more than 10 minutes at a time, and was signed off sick. Her work told her if she went to the Grand Prix, she had to go back to work, as she would be active all day for the entire weekend.

The first problem was she ended up being over two hours late. She was supposed to prick me up from the station, left two hours later than she was supposed to and then ended up leaving me to walk about two miles to a spot where she could pick me up - promising me she was only 5 minutes away the entire time.

Then she, to put it simply, had tantrums both days. On the Saturday it was because the weather was bad and she wanted to upgrade to a grandstand ticket - I said no, when I booked the tickets in September I had asked if she wanted a grandstand ticket. She said no. Our original tickets were £259, the cheapest grandstand tickets when I booked were around £450, if I remember correctly. On the Saturday, she wanted to spend £150 to upgrade for just the Sunday. I explained this was too expensive and she kicked off. She whinged, cried and sulked, and ignored me for the rest of the day.

We ended up in a pretty rubbish spot as we had general admission and had got to the track around 11:30. So we agreed that on the Sunday we would leave around 7, with an aim of getting to the track for 9am ish.

On the Sunday, she threw a tantrum because her phone hadn't connected to the car properly, and she hadn't wanted to leave as early as we did. She was slamming her hands against the steering wheel, crying that she couldn't drive without music and swerving all over the road. Again, she ignored me for the whole day, choosing to spend her day with her head buried in her phone and on the phone to her entire family (mum, grandmother, brothers, aunties, uncles). She barely spoke to me and I had to stand there on my own like a bit of an idiot.

We get to the track and it's sunny, so I buy a hat (Ferrari fan), she looks me up and down, laughs and says I look stupid. She comments a few times that I'm stupid and should be a fan of another team.

The race ends, I wanted to stay and watch the podium ceremony - she said no because she wanted to go. Fine, I went, it was a shame but I caught up on it later. We got directed to leave one way, and she whines the entire way because we walked a bit further. She was crying saying her legs hurt and it was my fault as if we had gone the other way (that we were told we could not follow) we would've got there quicker. We wouldn't have, it was the same distance, just inside the track instead of outside.

The entire weekend just felt like it was a petty, school child level trip. Everything I said was met with a snarky comment and she continually told me I was stupid and and idiot.

Driving back from the circuit she ignores me again, kicked me out of her car at my hotel and has sent me a cleaning bill for the boot of her car - because her muddy shoes were in the back!!! I had wrapped mine up in a rain poncho on her instructions.

Apart from that text, she hasn't spoken to me since. I have texted a couple times to ask how going back to work was, and some F1 news, and she has read the messages and not answered.

To be honest I felt like an idiot the entire weekend. I would've been better off going on my own and I really regret going, even though it was an amazing weekend I hated every second I spent with her.

DH says I'm silly for ending a nearly ten year long friendship over one bad weekend. I feel like I can't be friends with her after she acted so stupid and childish for the weekend. AIBU to block her and not speak to her again?

Block 🚫 today what am absolutely lunatic

xyz111 · 10/07/2024 19:01

I would completely dump her. I'd love to go to the GP, and she sounds a spoilt brat!! She sounds 14. Your husband is the weird one by not understanding! I'm sure he wouldn't accept that from a male friend.

xyz111 · 10/07/2024 19:02

I would have got a taxi home instead of missing the podium!!! #teamlewis

ChunkyChips76 · 10/07/2024 19:41

xyz111 · 10/07/2024 19:02

I would have got a taxi home instead of missing the podium!!! #teamlewis

Unfortunately we stayed over 2 hours total from the circuit (her idea as well!) so there wasn't a ton of choice 😕

OP posts:
Thunderandlightningisfrightening · 10/07/2024 20:09

Fuck that whiny shite. Time to move on.

Teacherprebaby · 10/07/2024 20:12

If you told him what you just wrote then he is an idiot. She is a psycho, how are you even asking if you're being unreasonable?

NotThoseKindOfEggs · 10/07/2024 22:10

I accidentally said you were being unreasonable when voting, but you clearly are not. I also sent an accidental friend request to an old colleague when doing a bit of Facebook snooping tonight so perhaps it’s time I get some sleep.

Final note though, if your friend acted completely out of character, is she suffering any mental health issues or perhaps has some real pain from her accident (or an undiagnosed head injury)?

VentBox · 10/07/2024 22:52

Which mobile network is she with? Signal at Silverstone is really hard to find!

Get yourself watching the GP with Girls Across The Grid next year!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 10/07/2024 23:17

Yanbu. This isn't a difference of opinion with a mate, a Drunken argument, or someone saying or doing something thoughtless or hurtful in the moment. It's not some kind of 'she net a guy at a bar and got caught up in the moment and didn't realise she was ignoring me' type thing. This is an entire weekend of her keeping you waiting, insulting you, moaning and whining, sulking, and tantrumming and dangerous driving. I can't imagine a situation where someone is a nice kind rational person, acts like that for entire weekend and then switches back to their nice kind persona for ever more. She clearly can't up the pretence of being a decent human for more than a few hours at a time. Unless she contacts you with some kind of believable explanation (she'd run out if her medication and wasn't coping or something) and a full apology...why would you want to be friends with someone who is capable of all that?

Strangerthanfictions · 10/07/2024 23:37

You're bigger issue here is your DH OP. The friend sounds like a nightmare but only you know if this is something you've perhaps subconsciously known or experienced for some time and have reached your limit, or whether this is a one off and out of character and you can put it behind you. It sounds like she might have made the decision for you. Aside from the friendship though, if be worried that you've had a draining and stressful experience (,I can imagine feeling burnout, disappointment and possibly a bit humiliated from that weekend myself personally) and so why isn't your partner listening and supporting you and helping you figure out your next steps. It sounds like he's totally invalidating a stressful experience and has no empathy that you might be hurting over a lost friendship. This is where you focus needs to be I think.

ChunkyChips76 · 11/07/2024 08:26

Thanks everyone.

I had a discussion with my husband last night and he still thinks it's all a bit silly - the friendship shouldn't end over something like this. But I'm honestly done with her

OP posts:
Muffin101 · 11/07/2024 08:29

moose62 · 10/07/2024 16:54

I'm a huge F1 fan and love Silverstone. It is not a cheap weekend and if someone ruined that for me by being petty, they would be blocked!

This, exactly this. The friendship would be dead and done for me, your friend is an incredibly selfish, silly woman.

Notsuredontknow · 11/07/2024 08:36

OP, I’m really surprised your DH thinks you should overlook or put up with that. Value yourself more, she sounds like an unpleasant child and you would be well rid. I’m sorry your weekend was ruined and I hope you can treat yourself again soon to make up for it.

hopefulnothelpful · 05/09/2024 16:45

Had something similar on a recent holiday with a friend and wondering if it was a one off or if we’re no longer compatible. Any update on this @ChunkyChips76 Have you heard from her since?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread