Is it weird to gift a student?

[Josbak]

Hi all
I'm a 1:1 in a school to a student with complex needs. Theyre going to a special needs secondary school in September. She's been fabulous and I'm so proud of her progress. It's my first year working in a school as I'm training to be a teacher. Anyway, it's her birthday tomorrow and I've bought her a pencil case, some pens and a seat cushion (as she's always asking for one.) It cost me about £25.
I've spoken to my colleague and she says it might come across as 'too much' and I should give her one of the gifts at the end of the year instead.
I feel a bit silly and embarrassed as I didn't realise it'd come across this way.
What are your thoughts?

If that’s what you want, and can afford, to give then I don’t see the issue. I’m sure she’d love it but I do also see that maybe keeping the cushion to the end of year could be a good idea, a nice goodbye gift for her to take with her.

If she's always asking for a seat cushion I'd give her it now before somebody else buys her one.

You could keep the pencil case until end of year if you feel it's too much.

Either way, very kind of you.

I'd check school policy, giving gifts to one child is often not allowed because of safeguarding (could be a grooming concern).

Are her parent/guardians present when she leaves school? Could you give it to her with them present?

If you had a full class I’d say it would be inappropriate but as a 1:1 I think it’s a lovely and thoughtful gesture.

I'd be more concerned about school policy to be honest.

Have you checked it?

I can see why you want to, but I can also see why it might be seen as inappropriate

Some schools have policies where you don't gift individual studemts. I'd check that out first.

Surely this is against your school policy and code of practice? no adult in a school can single out a child for a gift, Gifts are normally declared, and recorded by the safeguarding lead. and should not come to more than about £4-£5, max, and should always be for a complete group.

I bought my prefects and exam compliant water bottle each, for £2 each, all 12 of them. This was acceptable, as it fell within the rules as above.

If I like my tutorgroup, I may give them a small xmas gift each, with a value of around £1,

But no, you cannot spend that much money, and you cannot give a gift to just one student. In any school

all schools do

This. I wouldn't be impressed if my child came back with gifts from a teacher or TA or whatever. If the whole class gets a pencil or something that's different. I'd feel really uncomfortable at what you're proposing.

And even if they didn't it's common sense

You sound well meaning but I'm surprised this would be allowed?

My son made his first holy communion this year and he was the only child in his class making it (small asd class) and his teacher gave him a lovely present. He was delighted and I was very moved by her kindness

Do they not cover this as part of the training?

That's such a sweet thought from you.

My ds has special needs and has been given presents at milestone events by some of his 1:1 TAs. (I think they must have spent less than you did, if that matters).

He has always been super chuffed and I have always been really touched and appreciative, practically to the point of tears on occasion, when i know they and he have been through a lot.

I would advise you to check with the school leadership team, but as long as they give their blessing I think it's wonderfully kind of you, and not remotely weird.

They're such school-appropriate gifts, that I'd be disappointed if it was not allowed. Have an informal word with the SENDCO or whichever member of staff seems most appropriate. Arguably the cushion should have been provided by the school.

Buying items that are used in school for a child you work with 1:1 is very different from singling out one child in a class to buy non-school items for (which would be inappropriate).

I used to work as a TA in a deprived area and bought things for pupils where needed. It wasn't unusual. Don't be put off by posters who have no clue passing comment.

Perhaps the cushion now and pencil case at end of year though.

we are not "posters who have no clue". We are posters who know good practice, education code of conduct and school policies.

you sound like you have no clue, and if you are singling out pupils to buy things for, and have not recorded these gifts properly, then these are sackable offences.

I have worked in many deprived areas. if you want to give something to one pupil, it has to be to all in that group, and it has to be declared and recorded, whether that is toast, fruit, pen, sewing kit, calculator..... whatever it is

Many of the PPs admit they don't have a clue but are just giving their personal opinion.

You however @combinationpadlock,
are the professional who said: "If I like my tutorgroup, I may give them a small xmas gift each, with a value of around £1". That is unethical and unprofessional.

"whether that is toast, fruit, pen, sewing kit, calculator"... Dear me! I think you have embraced box-ticking culture a little too enthusiastically.

As I said, OP should check with the appropriate member of staff.

you clearly have absolutely no idea.

You seriously need to catch on fast, before your ignorance loses you your job

Union rep here.

If you're not going to do this for everyone then absolutely don't do it for one. It is inappropriate and could very easily be seen as grooming.

Do not jeopardise your career over this.

THIS

No its not what are you on about

I also agree with @BeardedLodger . You should not do this as it's not an appropriate thing for a professional to do.

You however @combinationpadlock,
are the professional who said: "If I like my tutorgroup, I may give them a small xmas gift each, with a value of around £1". That is unethical and unprofessional

I don't know what you mean here. It's not unethical to give your tutor group a small Christmas gift if they are a group you like.

I would have thought there was a clear school policy on this.

Ours has a clear no gift policy