To hesitate to give lessons for free?

[jajajajajajajajajaja]

I am a lecturer and an acquaintance of mine gave my details to a Ukrainian refugee who asked me to tutor her child for free in my subject. I am hesitating - I have a lot of work and 3 children myself. I have very little spare time. BUT the situation in Ukraine is awful at the moment, and do feel for them. Am I a heartless b and should I help them?

Hmm you would think a lecturer wouldn’t make quite so many spelling and grammar mistakes.

I’d say no. Your acquaintance is very generous with your time and skills isn’t he/she? How bout this “generous” acquaintance pays for the child to have a tutor (who isn't you)

what do they need tutoring for anyway? Lots of free stuff online.

Why? This is an informal setting - and of course we don't know what their specialist subject is.

Anyway - to answer your query OP - given that the first reply has sadly not done that, I don't think you're being a bitch.

You have a very full plate already, and your time is precious. People shouldn't just give out your details, and volunteer your time for free. Any disappointment caused is on them, not you.

What does the situation in Ukraine has to do with tutoring? Presumably, the person is in the UK with appropriate level of social support/job. I wouldn’t be offering free tuition.
Consequently, my family live in one of the European countries who accepted quite a large number of Ukrainian refugees with a very generous social support package, an offer of free language courses and a guaranteed job. And there is a bit of a discontent brewing at the moment as, despite, having jobs and government-subsidised housing, they approach businesses for free services under the guise of war. It’s not a good situation for the locals AND for the refugees as a few bad apples spoil it for everyone else as far as attitudes towards refugees.

There's an arsehole on every thread. 👆

OP. What about a defined offer. E.g 2-4 free tutorials and then after that they'd need to pay.

That way you are doing your charitable bit but aren't getting sucked into a long term commitment.

However if you can't do it then there's no need to feel guilty.

This is a good idea, thank you! If I give them a couple of sessions, I can also give them ideas of resources for self-study and explain what they need to do for their exams

If I had three children I would not be doing even more to make my life harder. I think a very kind offer of two lessons to get them started and a road map as to how they can improve and books and tests papers would be incredibly generous.

Yes, I think one or two sessions would be lovely of you, and more than generous.

What a ridiculous comment.

A free taster session but make it very clear that if they want more then it will come at a cost.

if it was helping a child with their English to help with school I would probably offer one or two shorter sessions and point them in the direction of additional resources.

if it was an older student in a more specialist subject I wouldn’t get drawn into it. As a PP said, it was very generous of your acquaintance to offer your time for free! It sounds like you already have a lot going on and I’m sure there will be plenty of other worthy students who could benefit from free tuition. Where would you be expected to draw the line?! It’s better to have very clear boundaries.

It would be hard to stop lessons. If you have time, you could do once a week. But I guarantee they'll moan if you cancel one week for a holiday! I don't see the point in only offering a few lessons. What are they going to achieve in 5 lessons? It will never be enough. They'd expect regular lessons for the school year.

🙄

List them. I see one word omission. Rest is standard informal writing.

What exactly are the 'so many' mistakes?

Three DC and a full on job? You have enough on your plate.

Is the child school aged? You presumably don't even know the most important topics for exams and such, they'd be better off with a school teacher.

I'd just say sorry but that you're too busy at the moment, then compile a list of self-study resources and ideas on where they could find a tutor to get them started. Your time with your family is precious, and you're not a charity.

I give private lessons for a living - the Ukrainian family I teach pay just like everyone else.

What spelling mistakes? I just see a shortening of a word some people might hesitate to write out in full, and one missing out of "I" which people sometimes do as shorthand (see Bridget Jones' diary).

I am sorry but free tutoring is not an essential and they are taking advantage of potential kindness.

as with all thing s there are always people who will look to abuse the system or take advantage- it’s human nature.

i have a lot of ex-Pat Ukrainian family members most of whom took in refugees and even they will concede the free loading and pissing taking of some of them is just embarrassing.

I’m a writer and posts written on my phone are littered with errors that wouldn’t be made on paper or on a desktop.

If you are feeling generous you
could give one session - assess the child and point them in the direction of resources appropriate to their level.

Why? This is an informal setting - and of course we don't know what their specialist subject is.

as a side note, what does "informal setting" means? Either you know how to spell or you don't.

It means this is MN, not a dissertation.

Presumably you use different language and tone when you text your friends than you do when you email an important work contact? That.

Apologies to people offended by my spelling, I was typing quickly 😔 and I didn't want to spell out the word meaning "female dog"😜