What would you take someone in intensive care?

[cottonwoolbrain]

DD's friend is in intensive care and is finally allowed visitors after 2 weeks in hospital.

She's apparently rigged up to monitors and has tubes and cables all over the place. she's on morphine. She can't eat so no food. Toiletries are out. She's got netflix and audio books though she can only focus for about 10 minutes if that. No flowers allowed

DD is very worried about her (understandably) and wants to take her something but has no idea what. She's also nervous about going into an intensive care unit but is desperate to let her friend know she's supported. She and her friends have set up a visiting rota to make sure that someone goes in every day it's allowed.

She's 18. What on earth can DD take her except friendship and gossip.

And what should DD know about visiting intensive care?

I'm posting here for traffic. Any advice and ideas would be really appreciated please.

It's quite overwhelming going into IC - seeing all the tubes and the seriousness of it and how vulnerable her friend will look. I remember being a similar age and visiting my sister and feeling a bit faint! Obviously that then felt really ott but I would say be prepared to feel a bit teary or overwhelmed.

I'd take something soft like a blanket or shawl or teddy. But nothing would also be fine.

I second a nice card she can have up and some lip balm, Other than that friendship and gossip will be fine.

no blankets, or toys or anything like that. infection risk as bedding has to be changed daily and and any fluffy toys etc. are a magnet for bacteria. interventions involving blood and other bodily fluids are often done on the bed so anything that can get soiled is a no go.

hand cream maybe but she will be cannulated so may not be able to use
frankly I dont think she should take anything

Whatever you choose go for something hard that can be disinfected. Anything soft and fluffy is an infection risk. Perhaps a lucky charm or bracelet with a charm? Something you can douse in IPA.

I was going to suggest this, my friend ended up very unwell a few years ago and it really helped her not just feel like a patient to be able to choose a colour etc

When my sister was in ICU I took her some books/magazine and those adult colouring book type of things.she could also get her a voucher for Spotify so she can listen to music/ podcasts etc.

You've had great advice. I hope it goes well. I spent a long time in ICU with a family member and I'm sure she knows that there will be very ill people, often sedated, trachied, etc around her. Other visitors may be very distressed so being prepared for that. I will never forget the families who visited to say their final goodbyes in our unit. Feeding tubes, catheter and machines will kind of normalise after a while, but your daughter might need your support after the first visit. If her friend has been sedated her voice may sound different after the tubes. Strong drugs will also have an effect. She will be v vulnerable. Photos are a brilliant idea. We hung them around the bed. Also wrote a description (funny) of our family members likes, dislikes, hobbies - when she was on the mend). Kind of a funny CV - and hung that up too. Sweets/biscuits for the waiting room/ staff were also a win. Good luck.

My dad is currently in intensive care and I wasn't allowed to take anything, and had to mask up. Not allowed to touch him either.

When he was on high dependency I took him scratch cards.

Seeing someone will help your friend, be prepared not to be able to stay long though.

A nice water spritz spray, it can be hot and dry. Maybe an eye mask as lights are on all night so can be hard to sleep. Video of messages is a lovely idea. Bear in mind her concentration may be short so visual or auditory things might be better than things to read. iTunes voucher so she can have podcasts or music downloaded, she can help choose and do so for her.

What about a book with photos of your daughter and the friend? A book of memories, something she can look at when she wakes up properly?
my son was in ICU and having these pictures to look at was a really lovely reminder that through the hideously dark times there was an incredible support system and hopefully more fun times to look to. Really lovely of your daughter and friends to set up a visiting rota, I do hope she makes a full recovery xx

My son is 8 and he was recently in PICU for 7 weeks.

He was allowed and even encouraged to have his own blankets and cuddly toys. A nurse also made some bunting of his name to hang above his bed which he loved too.

His favourite thing was definitely receiving some cards from his school friends and football team. It really brightened him up.

They preferred for him to use the hospitals lip balm but they were happy for him to use his own products for bed baths.

I also agree with pp’s in that intensive care is incredibly overwhelming, it will really hit your daughter going there and unfortunately she may see some really upsetting things. During my sons 7 weeks there, seeing parents crying in the hallway wasn’t unusual.

Your daughter and friends sound lovely.

What about a couple of stress balls that she can squeeze, my brother had these when he was in ICU for about 8 weeks.

You take yourself.

That's all that's needed.

Scrunchies or soft hair bands to hold your hair away from your face. Simple face wipes so you can wipe off the greasy feeling. A pen and notebook. Gum if she’s allowed it and ribena or similar if allowed. Tissues, and a cheap packet of clean pants.

Bear in mind that her other friends will be taking things too. There's no room in ICU for loads of stuff. If all of her friends take that number of gifts, they'll end up being a burden, not a pleasure.

Jellycat.

There are cute and loved by teens and young adults.

I've had to visit in intensive care on a couple of occasions, and I didn't take anything, nor did I see anything personal around or on anyone's beds. I'd wait for the first person to visit and to report back on whether anything is allowed.

Just be there and talk for a while. From experience, nothing else is wanted or needed.

I agree.

Thank you everyone.

She took some hand cream and a magazine and was able to spend an hour there. They let her stay a bit longer than usual so her mum who's been at her bedside almost constantly for the last 2 days could have a quick shower, get something to eat and go outside for a little while. DD hadn't really thought about the fact it would give the parents a break but was pleased it did.

Her friend was very tired and kept dozing off but in between seemed to enjoy chatting and talking about plans for later in the summer - even if they're not going to happen DD thought it best to talk as if they can and will as she thought that was better than focussing on the negative. The nurse had told her before she went in to use positive phrases like "when you're better we can... "

DD said an ICU nurse met her outside, talked her through what to expect and another talked to her as she came off the unit to make sure she wasn't too shaken. The nurse looking after her seemed very kind and professional and as PPs suggested the whole experience was very calm even if it was in some ways frightening.

DD is going back tomorrow then someone else is going on Thursday and Friday. She had the impression that her friend was seriously bored as well as being ill

Honestly, a nice card that says her friends are thinking of her, homemade is nicer, and maybe some funny photos included in the card? (Been the friend in this situation and the card really kept my spirits up at low ebbs)

PS Apparently no stuffed toys allowed as they're an infection risk

I agree with @DinnaeFashYersel @Boomer55.
Most important is for your DD to hold her friend's hand (make sure DD has clean hands) and be prepared to do all the talking to her friend. Have a think beforehand about what to say. The Friend should in ITU will be too exhausted to participate. Oh and stay away if there coughs /colds etc; ITU patients are extremely vulnerable. Good luck x

-Photos of outside hospital life of you with loved people doing things that are fun or to talk about.
-Cards from friends thinking about you are really heartening
-Conversation about the world outside (but not about people who have things even worse than you).
-Positive assumptions about the future.
-Favourite well-loved films (so you can doze and miss bits and still know what is going on).

Photo of friends, white company socks, Khiels lip salve (it’s the absolute best), L’Occitane shea hand cream.