Would this bother you? Dating related

[LavenderHaze19]

I was on a date with a man last week. He was nice and I enjoyed myself.

The only negative thing was this. We discovered that we are both into running and we started talking about races. I said I'd never run a marathon but have run many half-marathons. He said he'd run one marathon. I asked what his time in it was. He said it was 2hrs 58m.

For the benefit of anyone who isn't familiar with marathon running, 2hrs 58m is an INCREDIBLE time for a non-professional runner to finish a marathon, especially a first marathon. I forget exactly what the men's world record is but it's somewhere around the 2 hr mark. There are many very experienced marathon runners out there who train for years to try and run a sub-3 hr marathon. My brother is incredibly fit and has run many marathons and his personal best time is somewhere around 3 hrs 30m.

I told him that was an incredible race time and the conversation moved on. But when I got home I couldn't shake a feeling of scepticism about it. So I looked up his time online (he'd told me which marathon it was and for lots of races times are public).

He ran it in 4hrs 10. Which is a great time, especially for a first marathon. But it isn't 2 hrs 58m.

I definitely didn't mishear his time, he repeated it several times. And he definitely said he'd only ever run one marathon. So I'm as sure as I can be that it was a fib.

Would this bother you?

YABU - No, it's a trivial fib and we all exaggerate our achievements a bit especially if we're nervous

YANBU - Yes, if he can lie about that he can lie about other things, plus how stupid to lie about something that's so easy to check

Yes it would put me off - honesty is the most important thing to me so that would be a deal
breaker.

Why would he feel the need to lie about something like that? I'd move on.

Yes it would put me off as well.

It's also a stupid lie to tell someone with a keen interest in running.

It would put me off. It says his ego is more important than just being honest or, God forbid, showing a bit of vulnerability. Strong self-assured men don’t need to puff up their chests or perform machismo. He’s a weak and insecure individual.

It would put me off, 2.58 is so good it's a ridiculous time to make up tbh, are you sure he didn't do another one?!

He is obviously trying to impress you but if he thinks he can get away with lying to an expert, I do really wonder if you can trust him? How do you know what is real and what is bluffing?

I had a similar experience with a colleague who I thought was an amazing professional. We both love free diving but she said she had a week long course and was able to hold her breath for 4 minutes. In a second I realised she was full of sh*t! 🤣

I suspect he meant 3 hours 58. And having a 10 minute difference between your time and official time is nothing unusual

Was he trying to impress you? Honesty is very important to me too.

YANBU - take it from me from someone who spent four years with a constant liar.

The first lie I found out was his age. Less than a year into the relationship. He was a bit older than he'd claimed. I (stupidly) let it go.

I then caught him out on loads of ridiculous lies over next few years. He'd lied about where he was born said London, it was Bedford. Lied about going to school in my hometown. Lied about a childhood dog, he'd never had a dog in his life.

Then daily little, pointless lies. You get to a stage where you don't even believe it when they say they love you. You become naturally distrusting. Always on edge.

Eventually, I found out he had a child. He told me he didn't have any children when we met. I had no problem being with someone who had kids. But turned out he had nothing to do with the child and was literally angry about paying maintenance.

Honestly, give Marathon Man a swerve.

It would.

I dated someone similar for 2 years, he was very dear to me and helped me turn a corner in my life.
But the lies... The tiny silly lies, there were no need for them.
Call him out or just cut him off OP.

Don't wait 2 years thinking it's not that big of an issue, to find out that - although he hadsn't cheated, he's been really good to you, his family adore you... That lie after lie after lie - all over nonsense things - I was at gym until 3... You're cycling with mates at 12... You're on our shared FB, I mean ffs. I drove me a bit mental in the end.
Rather than admit if I'd pointed something out, he'd just dig deeper. I couldn't take it.

Call it in or sack it off. Not worth it.

Really bad sign that he lies so easily.

Thanks so much for your replies. It bothered me (to the extent I’ve posted on MN about it) but I wasn’t sure whether I was overreacting. He was otherwise nice, funny, attractive.

I definitely didn’t mishear the time because I repeated it and he confirmed it a couple of times.

He also very clearly told me it was his first marathon and the only marathon he’d ever run (running a sub-3 hour marathon is extraordinary in itself but to do it on a first attempt would be incredible).

Completely agree with the poster who said it’s so good it’s a ridiculous time to make up. That was what made me sceptical. If he’d said 3hrs 45m for example I would never have thought to check it, because that would be impressive but perfectly credible.

Send him a screenshot with a laughing face. If he fesses up with the most logical excuse which is that he was trying to impress you maybe spell out there is no need as lies aren't impressive... If he sulks and denies it just block him.

Yes. A lie is a lie

It would seriously put me off and I had similar in the past. I do a lot of rock climbing and before meeting this guy had told me that he was massively into hiking and climbing. When we met up it became very clear that he knew absolutely nothing about climbing as while chatting about it he described some things that had apparently happened while climbing and were very very clearly untrue and just hadn't happened (I can't remember all the exact details) and anyone with climbing experience would have known a mile off that what he was saying was a lie. It made me cringe so badly that I made my excuses and ended the date very shortly after. I think it's a really bad sign if they feel the need to lie for an ego-boost.

Either this guy is an idiot, or he thinks that you are.

Ugh, if this was me and I otherwise really liked him I'd be so tempted to try and find a way to ask him about it 🫣

Was it downhill?? If he knew anything about running he'd know how easy it is to check - and that as a fellow runner you definitely would!

Oof deal breaker for me 😂 I'm someone who has a mental breakdown if someone lies about their age.

Immature idiot. I wouldn’t bother seeing him again

Err this. He’s assuming you know nothing about running or marathons. Plus he’s arrogant if he thinks you won’t Google it either. It’s very easy to find out what good, bad and indifferent times are. Not a great start

Yeah.

I’d assume he got it mixed up with another race (a half marathon maybe?). That’s something I’d do!

Were you on a date with Jay from The Inbetweeners? 😂

Seriously, what a tit. I’m not a competitive runner and I’ve never run further than 8km, and even I know 2h 58 would be an unbelievably unlikely time, so he’s an idiot for thinking he wouldn’t get found out.