Birthday invite - questionable movie

[Holdemhigh]

Need some options because I don't know if my thinking is way off here. My 10yr old son has been invited to a sleepover, and the plan is for them to watch the Deadpool movies. All the other parents in the group are OK with this and they are all what I would consider to be responsible,intelligent people. Birthday boys mum is a teacher at our school. I haven't replied yet, but I'm thinking I'll just say we're busy that weekend. What I'm really thinking is wtf!!!. I'm pretty relaxed, but Deadpool is really not something I would think ok for this age group. Would you be OK with your kids watching it?

My DC12 has been begging us to let him watch the Deadpool films for ages (at least 2-3 years). DC says everyone else has seen it. We've always said no but with the new film coming out we decided to rewatch the first film to see if we'd changed our minds. No way! The violence is way and even the swearing, but not the sexual content. He can wait until he's 16!

The Mum involved doesn't know the content here, at a guess

Would be a big no from me. And I would send the screenshot privately just to confirm the host knows the film content. This reminds me of when people took their kids to see Sausage Party because they assumed it was a kids film. If she thinks 10yrs old is ok to watch the sex scenes, then she needs to reassess her career!

Are you able to gently enquire if mum has seen the movies before?

My son is 12 this year and looking at that screen shot I wouldn’t be wanting him to watch it let alone a 10 year old!

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/deadpool

hard no from me. There are plenty of other marvel movies that I’d be fine with - not this one.

See I'd be quite upfront in a group chat and say 'I see that Deadpool has a 15 rating and is sexually and violently explicit. DS would find it far too scary to watch and so he will not be attending the party. Thanks for inviting him and for being open about the planned events, I hope the rest of the children have a lovely evening.'

There will be some parents who don't care and there will be parents who don't know what the film is like. I'm happy to be the unpopular parent who marks her boundaries clearly, it will allow other parents who are unhappy with the choice the opportunity to say 'oh, actually, my DS will struggle with that as well' and may make the hostess rethink her choices to a film that can be enjoyed by more of the children. I'm actually shocked a primary teacher would do this, schools are always so careful about watching age appropriate films.

The blood and gore aren't the issue. Even the swearing isn't. The sex scenes definitely are.

@DinnaeFashYersel - He's not sensitive, and he has older teen brothers, so no stranger to some swearing. The blood & gore isn't so much my worry either. From the research I've done, what's been posted here and taking to my teens it's the adult nature of the humor and the explicit sexual references. I really want to message the host mum and ask if she's actually watched it but I didn't want to come across as a judgey twat.

I also have a 10yr old DS, who does get to watch some older-rated things eg Good Omens, Free Guy... but I would not be happy about Deadpool!

Deadpool versus Wolverine
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) - Parents Guide - IMDb
Violence & Gore

• Blood and gore in fight scenes.
• Deadpool pulls out 2 katanas from Wolverine's abdomen and a smaller blade from his shoulder.

I’ve let my 9 and 11 year old watch Deadpool but it’s not a film I would be happy for them to watch on a sleepover. Adult supervision only

I’d probably just say that DS isn’t allowed to watch Deadpool yet, and leave it at that. The host will either look into it, or get a wee shock at the time.

It's a comedy though surely, it's not like a really horrible gory horror or something.
I can't see what's that terrible for a 10 yo in it? I watched 15 rated films at 10. But if you don't want him to then that's your choice.

Not a chance and I am pretty lax.
DS had wanted to watch Deadpool for ages but I waited until he was 14 (probably still too young but DH and I disagreed and he won that one)

Sorry, that's the latest cinema release
Deadpool (2016) - Parents Guide - IMDb
Deadpool 2 (2018) - Parents Guide - IMDb
I liked both movies but she's brave given they're a 15 and the job she's in.

I didn't let my DC watch any 15s until age 13 and initially it was with me and DH. So it would be a hard no from me and I'd be telling the Mum why in case she hasn't realised it's a 15.

Speak to her in person and just say you're super grateful for the invitation but you've heard the film has x & y in it and you don't think your son is ready for it yet.

It keeps the judgement off of her parenting decision and if she reconsiders then your son can still go x

I would text the Mum. Something like “Thanks so much for inviting Ds, but I must admit I am a bit boggled by some of the reports I have heard about Deadpool. Have you seen it? Is it a lot less explicit than these reports make it sound? <<attach screenshot and mention pegging in early scene>>. Not sure I am ready for Ds to see all that. But best wishes to Xx for his birthday and have a great time “

"thanks for the invitation but we will have to pass I'm afraid - there's more sex and swearing in that film than we are comfortable with DS watching. I guess that's why it's a 15! Hope birthday boy has a great time though and maybe we can celebrate with a playdate?"

It's the explicit sex talk and scenes

Is the mum aware that is what they will be watching or is it just what the boys are discussing between themselves. It’s quite a while since my children were that age but often they made plans for watching x rated movies on sleepovers/parties but ended up watching something a lot tamer

I think this is the definition of “it takes a village to parent” and would agree that you should flag this up …if your kid is potentially going to secondary with these other boys and will remain friends then there’s going to be a whole lot of tackling their viewing “ material “ with regards to sexual content, porn, violence ….parents of boys have to be really mindful of what their boys are sharing amongst themselves. So if you (wisely!) think a 15 film is not on at this stage then you need to stick up for your boy and for those boys whose parents are as thoughtful as you!

Bless you for not wanting to be "that mum". I absolutely am.

I'd be posting the sex scene breakdown screenshot directly into the group chat since "I haven't seen it and wanted to check if it was something my son would enjoy and I don't think my 10 year old should be watching this at all. Sorry he won't be coming to the party."

Doesn't bode well she is a primary school teacher either! I know it's a comedy film but a child being exposed to that level of nudity/sex scenes at home could trigger safeguarding issues with schools.

Same here - I gave way at 14 too. 10? Not a chance.