Who was in the wrong here?

[TaylorsVersion1]

I feel really silly writing this but she's made me doubt myself so I would like some outside opinions to see if I really was being unreasonable.

Went to see grandma today (82 if it matters) with 3 year old ds.

I'll cut to the point she gave DS a big bag of cola bottles. I'm okay with him eating sweets but wasn't keen on her giving him a big bag but let him have a few.

After he'd scoffed almost half the bag DH took them off him (irrelevant but he has a genetic condition that's prone to obesity so we're trying to teach him to eat in moderation) we were a bit slow to notice as we were chatting, that on us.

DS started crying obviously so I tried to explain to him that he'd had enough and next time he comes he can have some more and it's nearly tea time etc but grandma hit the roof calling my husband out of order, awful and horrible - DH obviously wasn't happy with this and took DS out to change his nappy.

Whilst he was out my grandma was like "say something to him" and I said no, I agree with him and she just said I'm as bad as him and she'll stop me visiting as we've really upset her so I said I appreciate you're upset but he can't just eat a whole packet of sweets (a big pack as well, wouldn't have minded too much if it was one of those little Haribo packs) and she said well he can at my house.

The whole thing was just awkward after that so we left but now I'm sat wondering did we really need to cause such a fuss and upset her? Was I being unreasonable?

It feels like such a none issue but I'm a bit upset about it.

Thank you

Even if that wasn’t the case it was still a horrible and judgey comment to make, parents know their child better than some random off the internet so maybe next time don’t judge so quick

You and DH did nothing wrong. If it happened again, I'd had said something when the bag was produced and put a few in a bowl for him. Not let him sit with the entire bag. What a bizarre and controlling comment from her!

My nan did similar to me apparently, but it was a bag of my grandfathers diabetic sweets which contained sorbitol. I woke with diarrhoea and stomach cramps which continued all night. Thankfully, I can't remember but my mum does- 40yrs on.

I think it can be very tricky with your grandma’s generation. They were brought up in a world where there was automatic respect for the elderly and no one questioned them- and it’s just not like that anymore. But instead of meeting their younger relatives way they take great offence if they are ever questioned/criticised. I wonder if it makes them feel insecure and/or irrelevant?

I also think a lot of older people can feel quite anxious about life in general which makes them try to hang on to their sense of self by trying to be in control?

sorry you’ve had this situation with your grandmother and, of course, not ok for your little boy to eat so much sugar.

Hope it all settles down for you.

Wtaf

@PinkyAndTheBarnacle

you're sorry "in that case"?

You don't ever, ever, comment on a child's chosen underwear whether pants or nappies.

Who do you think you are?!

You are in the right.

It's not healthy to allow a 3 year old to each that much sugar in one sitting.

It's not healthy to allow extended family members think they can do as they please with your child, and disrespect you when you ask them not to do something. Some people are so rude.