Please someone tell me.what to do

[IamaRevenant]

I'm sorry, I'm aware I've posted before.

I'm the breadwinner between me and husband, always have been. He doesn't work full tim due to mental health. Over the last few months I've not been working (my mental and physical health has gone to shit). Husband is saying he's going to divorce me as I'm pathetic. Meanwhile he's never worked more than 16 hrs and everything else is funded by me.

Aibu to expect a bit of reciprocation? I've supported him for.six years and now he's stomping around the flat screaming at me and threatening that he'll forcibly evict me (it's HA, his tenancy) because I don't have a job. And in the same breath asking for more money.

I don't know what's normal any more.

No DC. I have a house but my brother lives there with his wife and kids.

I don't think I can afford to rent, it's ridiculous in Bristol.

I just feel stuck.

With respect, OP I very much doubt that any loving brother would want you to endure this type of abuse whilst he lived in your house. I would ask if you can move in with him and go from there. Good luck.

Aibu to expect a bit of reciprocation?

Yes. YABU to expect him to be someone his is not. He is [insert string of expletives and choice adjectives here].
It is never reasonable to expect him to give what he won't give, behave how he will never behave. He is just not that person.

Your mistake is thinking that being in a relationship means he has to try and be a better person for you.

He won't change. EVER.

Your only choice is to leave.

I feel I'm.drip feeding and apologies for that, but he stalks my posts and so does his ex. So they'll be shared shortly.

Need to get out of this don't I.

Tell your brother what’s going on, either move in with him or give him notice to move elsewhere. You cannot stay with this horrible horrible man

Please someone tell me.what to do

LTB.

Tell your brother everything he is doing to you, a kind brother would let you stay until you can sort something out.

Leave. Tell your brother you’re coming to stay, take your stuff and contact the relevant support services and go from there.
Rights of women
Women’s Aid
Citizen’s advice
google free divorce solicitor consultations in your area

good luck. You deserve better

There is no room, my DNs live there and it's a 3 bed. Otherwise my brother would do whatever is needed

If it's your house, then you need to tell your brother what is going on, and you need to move back in.

Leave

It's your house OP they either need to make room or you need to get the house back. Are they paying you rent? Would they consider giving you a bedroom for reduced rent? How many children do they have? Xx

He’ll divorce you because you don’t have any money? So is he only married to you because you’re the breadwinner and pay for things?
I don’t think you would be unreasonable to point out that you’ve supported him for 6 years whilst he’s struggled with his mental health and you now would like some support back. If he carries on stomping around after that then you know where you stand so have to decide to leave or stay and be used

You need your house back OP, tell your brother that they need to find somewhere else but you'll be moving in in the meantime.

You can't stay any longer in that house with that man

We had 4 DC in a small 3 bed, move back into your home and your DB can move out when they've found somewhere else.

You need to take your house back, obviously give them notice and then take your life back coz this fucker won’t make it any better, the leech

By posting repeatedly on here, OP, you get to offload your discomfort and frustration on us, while simultaneously resisting all attempts to help yourself.

Only you can stop this.

No room? Nope. Your house! Do you have a cellar? Fix it up. Large living room? Partitions! A dinning room? Your new bedroom. More than on kid? Gues they share. Family first!

is your husband claiming any benefits via universal credit

if he isn’t then I would point out that sure you will be happy to leave his house
he will have to up his 16 hours to probably double that to pay his rent / bills and be able to live

No children?! It's so easy then - get out asap. You deserve a better life than this. You deserve kindness and happiness.

Can you not stay on your brother's sofa for now until you work something else out going forward? It is your house after all!!

Actually no sod that

How many children does your brother have? Why can't they share a room so you can have a room in YOUR house? Do they pay you rent?

Leave.
Prepare yourself slowly and quietly and when ready, LEAVE, FFS, woman.
Think about the life you would have for yourself and yourself only (I presume there are no dependant kids).

Stop pleasing everyone else and think of what you need for yourself!! It’s YOUR house for goodness sake. The kids can share till you are back on your feet! At worst they have to look elsewhere.

You need to take drastic action before his verbal abuse takes a turn for the worst.

And throw the kids out on the street?!

I don’t know where to begin but lists always help me so

1. Tell your brother what’s going on. They either need to make room for you or they’ll need to find somewhere else to live
2. Wait for the prick to go to work and leave.
3. Phone shelter
4. Speak to the dr and get yourself sorted
5. Find a job