To want to call out Dad's behaviour on social media

[Justkeepswiimming]

Election time. Always a fun time for familes who have wildly differing political views. Younger members of my family are very pleased with this election result. My Dad isn't. My sister has put up something about being pleased about a Labour win on her personal Facebook page, I have written something along the lines that I agree and feel a tiny bit of optimism about the future. My Dad has responded, on my sisters personal Facebook page, calling out both of our views. Basically telling us how stupid we are, how it will all fall apart. He uses incredibly condescending language.

We avoid political discussions with him because his way is the right way and he will not tolerate other views. But personal Facebook pages are different and I feel that my sister should feel able to post her views on her page without him consistently gatecrashing with his views and basically trying to make her, and now me, look pretty stupid. Ironically I think he comes off looking more ignorant, but it's the attitude and intention behind it that makes me cross.

For years I have ignored similar instances where he had been pretty rude and condescending on our Facebook pages when we post something vaguely political and as a result I no longer do so. It's more trouble than it's worth. And I usually just ignore him when he does comment but this time I think he's gone too far. My sister has bit back at him, to which he's now saying he has a right to voice his views without fear of being shut down, which I think is pretty cheeky bearing in mind he's gatecrashed a post my sister hasn't directed at him at all, voicing her own views on her own page, where he's tried to shut her down and humiliate her and me

I'm torn between ignoring him for the sake of peace and telling him how inappropriate it is to speak so condescendingly to someone about their very well informed political views (my sister is a political geographer by background). How do I deal with him? Any clever responses would be hugely appreciated.

Can’t you just block him?

@crumpet for future reference it's not a bad idea.

Would simply respond with wouldn't the world be a boring place if we all thought the same thing and leave it as that.

Let him dig himself into a hole then just leave a laughing response on the post.

Social media isn’t personal. It’s like standing in the street shouting your views. His behaviour isn’t anything to be proud of but posting on social media invites any passing idiot to comment.

Restrict him from seeing your posts. Simples.

I'd block him. Just doing that sends a message loud and clear - that's what my DH did to his bigot of an uncle.

I’d just respond with a gif of a crybaby, and leave it at that.

Only way to deal with some people.

Mine has hugely different political views and a wide following.

I now make a joke out of it, continually calling out his disinformation and making a point of where he needs factchecking.

Just type “as ever, thanks dad” with a smiley face.

I know it’s passive aggressive but it answers him without stooping to his level, it slightly ridicules him, and everyone will get it.

Next time make sure he can’t read political posts.

I’m all for respecting your elders but if a parent calls their child “stupid” on sm, are they really worthy of respect?

So we just ignore rudeness ffs. Give me strength.

You all need to grow up, quite frankly

Squabbling on social media isn’t a good look for anyone

@MidnightPatrol I haven't responded!

Why?

What if they are racist/homophobic/criminal/violent?

Why on earth do you think I should respect that (ffs)?

Oh fuck off with bollocks. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you demand respect. Sometimes, being older makes you stupid because you’re more stubborn

When I post anything political (which isn't that often) I change the audience settings so that the person most likely to respond that way, doesn't see it. Then for my next status, I reinstate them. It takes a few seconds

It's not a personal page, it's social media 🤣

Just because you don't like his views, it doesn't mean they are not valid.
Are you the type that just shouts gammon at anyone who dares to have a different opinion?
Just block him
End of problem.

Sounds like a storm in a teacup to me. Your DF accuses your DS and you of being stupid; you accuse him here of being “ignorant”. If your sister chooses to express her views on a public forum to which she has permitted your father access, it’s hardly surprising that he should respond. You are all equally entitled to your opinions - but bandying words about like “stupid” and “ignorant” adds nothing to the argument.

Your sister can just delete his comment without responding. My sister in law, who I need to keep on my friends list, has a habit of sucking the fun out of any post I make that's meant to be fun and entertaining. She's just a very earnest person and doesn't get it. I always delete her comments on these posts.

Tbh, I would block him and say if he cannot comment on other people's posts in an intelligent manner without resorting to humiliation and name calling, he doesn't get to be part of your social media circle. He sounds like a bully and I wouldn't put up with it, even if he is my elder! (FFS!)

Just delete his comment (and possibly block him).

He "has a right to voice his views without fear of being shut down"... on his own Facebook page. Not on anyone else's. Just like he can put up political signs in his own front garden (within reason), but not in other people's gardens. If he posts on your sister's page, then she can absolutely remove those posts if she doesn't like them for any reason.

And if he's insulting towards anyone - whether it's on his social media, someone else's social media, in person, whatever - then there are consequences for that. Nobody has the right to go round insulting people and expecting that relationship to be undamaged.

he hasn't 'gatecrashed a post' though? I find your emotive wording a bit weird.
If her sister posts publicly on her page, then he is entitled to respond, exactly as you did. Or are you saying that people are only allowed to comment if they have the same opinion?

It's equivalent to her making a political comment in a large party where your dad is also in attendance. He is as entitled as anyone else there to respond. She wasn't having a 'private conversation' that he eavesdropped. She posted on her wall where all her 'friends' would see it, it's the equivalent of standing on a box and shouting your opinion out to the room!

Yes, if his responsive is unnecessarily aggressive or belligerent your sister might feel entitled to be a bit aggrieved abut the way he responded, but, as you've already accepted, the majority of people will judge him for that so there's no need for you to do anything.

You seem to be suggesting he shouldn't have commented at all, but that's on your sister for posting where he can see it and respond. If you say something (particularly something likely contentious, which a political statement days after an election is!) in a public forum, whether online or real life, you can't expect only people who agree with you to respond. If you only want an echo chamber then only make those comments to a restricted audience that you know agree with you.

(I'm closer to you and your sister's political leanings, so not defending his views, but think on this occasion your annoyance is a bit hypocritical).