To want to call out Dad's behaviour on social media

[Justkeepswiimming]

Election time. Always a fun time for familes who have wildly differing political views. Younger members of my family are very pleased with this election result. My Dad isn't. My sister has put up something about being pleased about a Labour win on her personal Facebook page, I have written something along the lines that I agree and feel a tiny bit of optimism about the future. My Dad has responded, on my sisters personal Facebook page, calling out both of our views. Basically telling us how stupid we are, how it will all fall apart. He uses incredibly condescending language.

We avoid political discussions with him because his way is the right way and he will not tolerate other views. But personal Facebook pages are different and I feel that my sister should feel able to post her views on her page without him consistently gatecrashing with his views and basically trying to make her, and now me, look pretty stupid. Ironically I think he comes off looking more ignorant, but it's the attitude and intention behind it that makes me cross.

For years I have ignored similar instances where he had been pretty rude and condescending on our Facebook pages when we post something vaguely political and as a result I no longer do so. It's more trouble than it's worth. And I usually just ignore him when he does comment but this time I think he's gone too far. My sister has bit back at him, to which he's now saying he has a right to voice his views without fear of being shut down, which I think is pretty cheeky bearing in mind he's gatecrashed a post my sister hasn't directed at him at all, voicing her own views on her own page, where he's tried to shut her down and humiliate her and me

I'm torn between ignoring him for the sake of peace and telling him how inappropriate it is to speak so condescendingly to someone about their very well informed political views (my sister is a political geographer by background). How do I deal with him? Any clever responses would be hugely appreciated.

Nowhere did OP say it was a public post. Most people these days have the good sense to keep their fb pages restricted to friends.

If you shout 'Liverpool are the best club,' in a crowded pub when Man U have just lost to Liverpool then you can't be surprised if you get some strong feedback disagreeing with you.

If you only want people to agree 'yes they are' then post it on the Liverpool fans website or only say it quietly to the group of your Liverpool supporting friends sitting on the table with you.

Your sister needs to pick her audience, time and place, if she can't handle disagreement.

If you put a political view in sm you just expect some response you don't like? If you don't want that either don't post or hide it from him

so her dad must have been on the restricted list in order to see it and comment? So not really sure why that's a "gotcha?" If anything that supports the dad commenting, as he would think 'Oh, I know she restricts her page, so if she's included me within the access that means she's happy for me to see it and comment, otherwise she would have restricted me too.'

It might not be the equivalent of standing in the street shouting it to the entire world, but it's still saying it in a party that your dad is in attendance at - if it's not a private conversation you can't complain if it's overheard!

This.

X100

With bells.

If you don't want to unfriemd him, just restrict him. He won't know you've done it, but he won't be able to see what you post.

You can restrict individual posts on facebook so I'd do this.

I don’t agree with the premise that he can’t voice his opposing views on you DS Facebook post. Of course it all depends on how rude or insulting his comments is but I’d call out the rudeness, if necessary, not the difference in political opinions.

My sister has bit back at him, to which he's now saying he has a right to voice his views without fear of being shut down

"Freedom of expression works both ways. You are free to post your views (no matter how [ill-advised/batshit/other insult of choice] they are), she is free to respond with hers."

Alternatively you could descend to his level:
"What's up snowflake? Can dish it out but can't take it?"

He will. It's very obvious when you're on a restricted profile, as you see so little. The difference is very noticable.

I have only been moved to a restricted profile once, and as I keep my FB friends list restricted to 14 people, it's easy to keep track of what's going on.

I have no objection to not being anyone's FB friend, but I can't see the point in being restricted to the level of only seeing a public profile. I always think it's for people who people can"t bring themselves to unfriend, but don't really want as FB friends.

Just delete his comments and change your settings so he can't see your future posts.

@Justkeepswiimming I know it’s not quite what you asked, but your sister can just delete Dad’s comments as you can usually remove anyone’s from your own post. Also, for future ref, she could post to ‘friends except’ so he won’t even see it on his timeline, or turn off commenting for posts where she wants to announce something but not enter into a debate etc.

I don’t agree with him being rude to your Dsis but she’s a bit naive to post political stuff on social media and not expect replies of all descriptions. Just put a sad face on his post and ignore him.

Is the OP's father likely to be bright enough to realise though?

I'd be tempted to stick up for your sister by stating you are within your rights to have your own opinions on your own pages and, with regard to him saying he has the right to state his opinion without being shut down, point out that that is exactly what he has done to her, aggressively and unnecessarily rudely, too!

'Rising above it' just means he'll continue to do it and you'll be forced to either put up with it or never post anything political in nature - who can be arsed with that?!!

I agree that blocking him from seeing further posts is the way forward. It's up to you if you say anything before doing so.

Either block him or limit the audience of certain posts so he never sees them to comment. Depends how obvious you want your boundaries to be.
I blocked and deleted my truly awful cousin for his constant fb racism and don’t regret it but appreciate you probably feel a lot more for your dad than I ever did for my cousin.

Just to make it clear I don't have any issue with the voicing of opinions. I have an issue with the way it is done. You can respectfully disagree and disrespectfully disagree. There is a huge difference. It always amazes me how rude a person will be one social media which they wouldn't dream of being face-to-face. It's cowardly.

Block him and tell him why.

If it's her post, can't she delete his post?
Every time he posts something, delete it.

True, but -rightly or wrongly - you have to consider your audience and how they will react to what you say.

I accept it's a person's private page, but at the same time they invite their audience, and have to prepare for the reaction.

I have unfriended several people on FB because I didn't wish to see what they were posting. It hasn't stopped me interacting with them in real life...funnily enough, one of those people met my husband and me for dinner last year, and spent a lot of time saying how much their mother had criticised their facebook page.

But as I said to my husband on the way home, I don't know why that person added their mother as a friend on FB, as they struggle to be civilised in person. Added to which, I find their content makes unpleasant reading too. I don't beleive that responsibility for FB content starts and ends with "well it's MY page!".

I blocked DF because he's a prick. Also, has some really extreme political views and clicks on every crap possible. He posted something that had a link to a hard core porn. I got FB to take it down, then called me out on this. In return, instead of stopping clicking on every shit he sees, he asked me to keep vetting his account. I told him to go and f himself sideways, blocked him completely and eventually became NC with him (plenty of other reasons too).

Is he a Reform voter @Justkeepswiimming ?

I am so sorry folks. I didn't mean to quite the entire OP!

Well then it's like standing in your own street and just shouting to your neighbours.

Just because a FB page is 'private' it does not mean that in reality it can't still be like shouting at a group of people.

I’d reply with your second-to-last sentence then - “It always amazes me…..” if you truly think he wouldn’t say it in person.