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Original poster

To want a baby before career?

45 replies

Saoirse96 · 07/07/2024 11:20

Hi all!

I'm looking for some advice on whether or not others have took the path of baby first, career second, and what were people's experiences of this. If people felt like sharing, I'd really appreciate reading them.

To give some background, I've just graduated with my Masters degree. I'm in my late 20s, and have a lovely owned house with my partner. I have all my family support in the same village. My end goal is to become a teacher, for which I need to do a one year qualification. I currently work in a school. I know that being qualified in this would be night and day financially - but I can't help but feel so incredibly broody! I wonder if it's better to have a less intensive job while your baby is young, to spend quality time raising them and focus on being a mum.

Has anyone here happily had babies on low incomes, and don't regret their timings? Or is it a huge mistake and a lot of unnecessary strain?

OP posts:
Peonies12 · 07/07/2024 11:23

For the sake of a 1 year qualification I’d do that first. I’m 33 expecting my first and I’m grateful I concentrated on my career first as I’ve got to a good level of job where it’s well paid, so will benefit maternity pay. And please do consider your financial situation if you’re not married and do have a child, if you plan to make sacrifices to your earning-you are far more protected if married.

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 07/07/2024 11:24

Get your qualifications first. Every time. I did a masters with a 3 year old and it was very hard.

Peonies12 · 07/07/2024 11:24

I’d also say far easier to do a year studying without a child! And if you have a few years good experience under your belt, much easier to go back into it if you did take time off

Changingplace · 07/07/2024 11:24

I’d do your qualifications first, do your NQT year teaching then think about it. Then when you go back to work you’ll be in a better place financially, plus you’d get mat leave whereas if you had a baby now what financial support would you have?

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/07/2024 11:27

It’s only a year. That will fly by.

I’d get married too.

SauvignonBlonk · 07/07/2024 11:28

Do the teacher training first. Out of all the qualifications I studied for my PGCE was the most intense and time consuming: it would be harder with a young child.
Train, ECT year then have a child would be the route I’d go for.

NightBirdy · 07/07/2024 11:28

Sense would say do your qualifications first. But then you have to do your NQT year and maybe another for experience ... then you're heading for mid 30s and if a baby doesn't come you would beat yourself up and wish for more time. I had my kids young and sacrificed my early career for that, but I have no regrets. Just feel grateful that I had them without difficulty.

eish · 07/07/2024 11:30

A PGCE is incredibly intensive and I’d recommend doing it before children.

Sunnydiary · 07/07/2024 11:32

PGCE nearly killed me! Do it first, get NQT status over, then you will be in a far better position to have baby.

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/07/2024 11:35

Agree with other posters. For the sake of a year just get it done. Studying (or working) with a baby is gruelling.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 07/07/2024 11:35

I’m a teacher - had a baby a year after starting my career. So glad I did it that way as I had time to build knowledge and contacts while I still had brain cells and an ability to sleep on the weekend…. Now I’m running on muscle memory and I’m so glad I have experience up my sleeve - starting teaching is hard enough without having a teething not sleeping toddler at home

BuffaloCauliflower · 07/07/2024 11:36

My SIL did her PGCE last year with a toddler and it was a nightmare. As the parent of two toddlers and the child of a teacher - if you want to be a teacher do your PGCE and NQT year and then have a baby. Otherwise you’re probably not going to do it until your kids are in school. It’s so much harder with kids. You’re working full time for no money on placement and would still need to pay for childcare. If you have your kids when you’re working you’ll get maternity pay. I had my first baby at 32, you really do have time.

NuffSaidSam · 07/07/2024 11:39

I'd do the PGCE and NQT year and then take some time out to have a baby. It'll be much easier to get back into teaching after a career break than to start out on a PGCE with a child in tow.

howshouldibehave · 07/07/2024 11:40

I would say definitely get qualifications done before having children-it will be so much easier. As a teacher, I would say don’t do teaching! On a day to day basis, it is very inflexible and not very compatible with having children.

tam23 · 07/07/2024 11:42

I career changed from a corporate job and did a PGCE with a one year old in my late 20s. It was hard work but less demanding than my corporate job. I had a lot more energy then than I do now - every decade you get a bit more tired! I’m glad I did as I have in the last couple of years had some major health issues and I’m glad my children were in their 20s and they didn’t have to deal with their mum having a life threatening illness in their teens. I am also able to focus more fully on my recovery, Of course this didn’t factor in my decision making at the time!

Greenlittecat · 07/07/2024 11:47

Just so you are aware, NQT has been replaced by ECT (Early Career Teacher) which is 2 years.

I have to ask, why would you do a masters and not go straight into teacher training?

Sharrap · 07/07/2024 11:48

I did a PGCE at 31, with a 1 & 4 yr old. It was a second career for me, though.

It was tough, but manageable if you have support. No regrets. Glad I had my children young-ish. I’m in my late 40s now, kids are grown up, I’m in an exec leadership role (moved away from schools, but still in education). My career is flying.

Get married first, though.

Overpayment · 07/07/2024 11:51

Irrespective of career considerations, Don’t plan a a baby without being married first.

Helar · 07/07/2024 11:52

Get married and have your children first - don’t delay that. There is plenty of time to study more and work in a different job later. Your fertile years are much more limited.

Sleepersausage · 07/07/2024 11:55

I had DD at 27 after doing various admin roles, income was okay though due to DP job. When she was two I started a job that offered a qualification alongside it now in a professional role and dd is 5. Not a teacher though and have lots of flexibility and work from home which I don't think would be so easy if you're a teacher.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 07/07/2024 11:55

Get qualified. Get married. There's a reason this is the advice of the majority of posters on this thread. I'm glad I progressed my career first, it meant I didn't have the same financial worries during maternity and I can take my foot off the pedal promotion-wise for a few years.

twistyizzy · 07/07/2024 11:56

Career first. Build up CV and experience and money before baby. Makes taking a year out much easier and you don't lose earning power.

Fudgetheparrot · 07/07/2024 11:57

I had my DD at 25 and did an intensive masters afterwards, it was really bloody hard! I’d get qualified first

MoodEnhancer · 07/07/2024 11:59

Definitely do the qualification (and preferably the NQ year) pre baby if you can. It’s pretty gruelling from what I hear and doing it with a baby will be really tough. And don’t forget you don’t know what your baby will be like. You might get one that barely sleeps or is ill a lot etc. So could be even tougher.

Also, I don’t think enough women consider that being a bit established in your career before kids is incredibly helpful. I had my daughter in my 30s. It meant I had an established reputation and track record in my field. As a result I am given a huge degree of flexibility to work around the needs of my daughter because my employer wants to keep me. I am also frequently headhunted which means I never feel stuck in a job and don’t have to stay at one for the sake of security. It’s an incredibly freeing feeling and I know that if I need at any point to stop and focus on my daughter, I can take time out and still walk into another job. I know teaching is not quite the same, but good teachers are always in demand and it is worth thinking about establishing yourself at least a little if you can because it makes family life easier.

Flatsallypinkpants · 07/07/2024 11:59

My NQT year killed me ! The pgce was hard but teaching as you know is exhausting and non stop. There is no way you would choose to do PGCE and NQT with a baby or toddler.

After 9 years of teaching I had my baby and I was so burnt out and exhausted I didn’t go back after maternity because there is no way I wanted to leave the house at 7 and return at 6 to work all evening and all day Saturday!!!! I now have a non teaching , full time role and with two tiny people I enjoy life and am not constantly working and anxious and exhausted.

I can see the children and relax on weekends. I am a hard worker and work full time but teaching requires working in evenings and weekends and is physically and mentally exhausting and I would never do it with small children.

My advice - do the training now. Then if you have baby and want to go back to it. I am not being rude but The first years of teaching saw me staying at school until 7pm most nights ! Working all weekends. I’m not being negative but it’s a HUGE job. I know you work in a school but the planning and assessments and pressure of being the teacher and not Ta is huge .