Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do husbands act like cxnts

57 replies

smxlly · 06/07/2024 23:57

Had a disagreement with my husband. Who is in the wrong - he seems to think it's all my fault.

Some lady made a joke with her colleague and I heard it and laughed. An he came over to speak - but was really trying to talk to my husband. Even to the point to touch his shoulder to get his attention.

He turns to me and said why did you have to laugh she came over and spoke to me. Basically blaming me and he was really pissed off at me (his ocd and doesn't like people on his personal space)

Got out of the shop and because I said it's not my fault she touched you and spoke to you, he told me to shut up and then threatens to leave me in the car park (we were a 3 mile drive from home and I am 6 weeks pregnant), he turned really nasty. He proceeds to tell me to not talk to anyone else in the future and don't make eye contact with strangers. He said I ruined our shopping trip,

I am so pissed off at him for blaming me, I told him if you felt uncomfortable you should have said something to her. I actually think I hate him (maybe it's heightened emotions or hormones) it's like walking on egg shells around him and I'm fucking sick of it.

OP posts:
TeaGinandFags · 07/07/2024 04:33

GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.

He's abusive and WILL turn physically violent very soon. He's probably already shouting at you and soon he will be shoving and pushing you. Then he will slap and punch you.

Leave him and it would be best not to have this baby because it will be the means by which he makes your life hell

Call Women's Aid PDQ for help and advice. In the meantime gather all your important documents and put them with a friend. Document every little thing. Speak to your midwife; she's trained to get you to safety.

I wish you a safe exit. 💐

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 07/07/2024 04:44

smxlly · 07/07/2024 00:38

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees his cunty ways. I can't stand him right now.

Make this a permanent change and cut him loose.

HoppityBun · 07/07/2024 06:09

This is coercive control. Please get in touch with a woman’s refuge or advice agency and be very aware that his behaviour may get worse as your pregnancy progresses and you and the baby will be highly vulnerable after the birth. If he’s behaving like this now, he could become physically violent once the baby is born. If you can’t contact any please tell your ante natal professionals at your next appointment. I am not being alarmist: men really do behave as I have described. Your instincts are telling you that what he is doing is dangerous. Red Flag!

LuvMyBoyz · 07/07/2024 07:38

My husband is not and never has acted like this. It’s not acceptable.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/07/2024 07:41

As per the first post. Husbands don’t act like this. Yours is abusive.

Bogeyes · 07/07/2024 07:45

You have an abusive partner. Don't put his name on the birth certificate. Get rid of this abusive dick

Bestyearever2024 · 07/07/2024 07:46

smxlly · 07/07/2024 00:38

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees his cunty ways. I can't stand him right now.

Hopefully you'll get rid of him right now

Useruserdoubleuser · 07/07/2024 07:48

Good grief. Do not tolerate this however hard it feels at the moment. Tell him you are a normal person who will continue to interact with whomever you please and he is not your controller. Do not ignore.

lovemycbf · 07/07/2024 07:50

Leave before he completely controls you
I'd not put up with that treatment pregnant or not!

Rosebel · 07/07/2024 07:52

Leave him and do it now.
He's controlling you, telling you not to speak or make eye contact with anyone. This is how it starts.
I know. Next he'll be issolating you from friends and family. Then if you're really unlucky the physical violence starts. Again I know.
I'm not saying this to scare you but because you deserve better than an abusive arse for a husband. If you can't do it for yourself do it for your baby. Please leave him.

AhBiscuits · 07/07/2024 07:56

He does sound awful OP. You don't have to use your one life on this man, where you can't relax and be yourself. I would terminate my pregnancy and leave. You still have chance to cut him completely out of your life.

Cantfindthewordsddstruggling · 07/07/2024 07:57

I would be giving serious consideration as to whether or not to continue with the pregnancy so you are not tied forever to this man. Parenting is tough enough as it is when you are both on the same team without adding abuse into the mix. Pregnancy is an incredibly high risk time for abuse to escalate. Whatever you decide op you need support moving forward.

Behonest32 · 07/07/2024 08:02

smxlly · 06/07/2024 23:57

Had a disagreement with my husband. Who is in the wrong - he seems to think it's all my fault.

Some lady made a joke with her colleague and I heard it and laughed. An he came over to speak - but was really trying to talk to my husband. Even to the point to touch his shoulder to get his attention.

He turns to me and said why did you have to laugh she came over and spoke to me. Basically blaming me and he was really pissed off at me (his ocd and doesn't like people on his personal space)

Got out of the shop and because I said it's not my fault she touched you and spoke to you, he told me to shut up and then threatens to leave me in the car park (we were a 3 mile drive from home and I am 6 weeks pregnant), he turned really nasty. He proceeds to tell me to not talk to anyone else in the future and don't make eye contact with strangers. He said I ruined our shopping trip,

I am so pissed off at him for blaming me, I told him if you felt uncomfortable you should have said something to her. I actually think I hate him (maybe it's heightened emotions or hormones) it's like walking on egg shells around him and I'm fucking sick of it.

Most abuse sadly starts in pregnancy 😢

BarryCantSwim · 07/07/2024 08:15

OP this isn’t just a disagreement about whose turn it is to put the bins out.

He told you not to talk to strangers or make eye contact and threatened to leave you in a car park - whilst pregnant.

You need out and now.

Life2Short4Nonsense · 07/07/2024 08:20

OP, I don't know your age or how easy it was to get pregnant.

In the very least, please leave him. Maybe even consider an abortion. However, if you do decide to keep this child, at least be rid of the toxic father. You can offer this baby a much better childhood without such an asshole in your life.

Zanatdy · 07/07/2024 08:27

I really wouldn’t be having a baby with this guy, I don’t blame you for feeling like you hate him, he sounds abusive and miserable. I’d be rethinking

Bananalanacake · 07/07/2024 08:42

I don't see how it's possible to not talk to strangers, at work you have to talk to colleagues, if you go for a meal with friends you need to talk to the waiter. If he's stopping you going out with friends, run, very controlling.

pictoosh · 07/07/2024 08:50

What he is asking of you is that you prioritise his comfort and experience at all times. Your job is to make sure that he is having a nice time, the fucking arsehole.

Abusive piece of shit. So sorry.

DeliciousApples · 07/07/2024 08:52

Sorry OP but all the posters above are right, he's not nice. His behaviour isn't normal. Speaking is a basic human right.

Think of yourself now. Could you be a single parent? Could you cope financially and do you have a good support network?

If you don't desperately need to have a baby right now I think I'd be getting the appropriate pills from the GP and terminating. You don't want him to be talking to a child like that. And he would. That he did that to you is bad enough but I'd not want him as the father of my kids. They'd be getting shouted at left right and centre. He's not fit to be a parent. And don't let him apologise and wheedle his way back into your hood graces. LTB

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 07/07/2024 08:52

smxlly · 07/07/2024 00:38

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees his cunty ways. I can't stand him right now.

What are you going to do? Surely you can see that staying with this man is a big mistake. Not all husbands are like this, mine is lovely.

Carebearsonmybed · 07/07/2024 08:54

LTB

And don't co register the birth.

You don't want him controlling your life first the next 18 years.

ByCupidStunt · 07/07/2024 08:57

6 weeks pregnant and he wastes no time in starting his abuse.

What. A. Cunt.

GloriaSmornin · 07/07/2024 09:00

If you choose to stay in your current situation, you and your potential child are in for years of damage.
Midwife appointment or Women's Aid asap.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 07/07/2024 09:05

God I would go see a doctor and then a solicitor.

Your pregnant and the abuse starts, it's only going to get worse.

ClemFandango1 · 07/07/2024 09:16

Leave, and abort if you can. Please learn from those of us who stayed. This made me cry, because god I wish I had seen the abuse for what it was before it was too late - now I'm tied to him forever via a child.

You deserve to have a baby with a good, loving man. You deserve to be spoken to with love and respect. You deserve a partner who will make your life better. Please leave now.