It’s my birthday and nobody got me anything

[autismmumx]

Just feeling really sad. I’ve been in hospital all week unwell and got discharged on Thursday afternoon. Me and my partner haven’t had much money recently, but it’s my birthday today and he didn’t get me anything from him or our little boy. I didn’t expect anything much but even some flowers from the garage would have been appreciated.

I got a short ‘happy birthday’ message from my mum, who had our son last night. She text me saying he’d had a nice Facetime with his auntie (my sister) but they didn’t think to FaceTime me for my birthday. He’s non-verbal and autistic and I’m not sure if he even knows it’s my birthday.

I had told her I wanted to collect him early today to spend the day with him but she’s taken him out without telling me so I’ve just watching TV on the sofa.

My friends haven’t messaged me so I’m assuming they forgot. The only message I’ve had is from my granny.

My partner saw I was upset and said ‘why don’t we go and get you some flowers?’ I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I don’t want to go with him to choose flowers for my birthday because it’s not the same.

It’s not a big birthday, it’s my 29th. But I’ve had such a bad time with my health recently that it’s just made me really sad.

AIBU to be upset about this or should I just get over it as it’s just a birthday?

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday 🎂. I am sorry that those around you appear to be pretty selfish. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated x

Happy Birthday OP. I feel your pain, it has happened to me too with my husband. I'll let your mum off because she looked after your DS whilst you were in hospital but your partner is a real shit. Is he always such a thoughtless bastard? The belated offer to "choose my own flowers" is a fucking insult and makes it almost worse.

Happy birthday 🥳 your partner is a loser tell him how upset you are and that you want a big deal made next year in your birthday. Could your mum have maybe taken your son out to give you a bit of a break?

You deserve more after time spent in hospital

Happy birthday

Flowers 🎂 & chocolate 🍫

Happy birthday OP. Feeling lonely, when you aren't alone, is one of the most brutal feelings. I feel like that a lot and I'm sorry that today you're feeling like that too. I hope you can find a little happiness for yourself today, however small, and hope this next year sees your health improve. 💐

Oh lovely I’m so sorry, I know the pain and I bet it’s even worse since you’ve been ill and In hospital etc. send your partner to the shops for flowers and cake. Do you feel up to a takeaway? I would honestly have a little shower/bath as they always make me feel refreshed, then go and have a tea or whatever your drink is and relax. I also wouldn’t be making a big deal about your partners birthdays in future.

Thing about Tit for Tat not doing his birthday only works if he cares about his birthday.
The best thing is to make sure that going forward her partner, at least, knows he has to put in some effort. That it is obligatory.
What to do about the rest of the family, I do not know.

Sorry to hear no one has been thoughtful enough. Next year, tell your other half a few days before your birthday and drop hints. Or, go and buy yourself a birthday present. Most people buy things I don't need or want anyway.

Happy birthday. Don't cook. Go get yourself a takeaway. X

Your partner is being rubbish - did he say happy birthday this morning or had he forgotten? Did you do something nice last night while your mum had ds? Did he apologise or explain why he hadn't got you anything already? I really don't understand why he wanted you to go with him for the flowers! It's not like clothing or jewellery you might want to pick yourself!

In your mum's case though, presumably you are seeing her later to get ds back? So I wouldn't assume she hasn't given anything yet as in our family if we were seeing someone later on their birthday we would usually leave any cards, gifts or even messages until then, not think we had to get it there for the morning. And to be honest as you get older I find most friends don't do much unless you are actually doing something for your birthday and that reminds them!

I would be furious your mum hasn't let you have your son back at the time you asked though! That's terrible.

I hope you feel better soon, and can do something nice today, even if low key.

YANBU. This is pretty shit…you can buy a bunch of flowers from Aldi for under a fiver. It’s the thought that counts.

This is unacceptable. It takes 5 minutes to make a card out of a piece of a4 paper. And to buy a £1.10 bar of cadburys chocolate.

Happy Birthday! Sorry this happened to you and I hope you’re feeling better. If it makes you feel any less alone I’m a single mum so I put my own banners and balloons up this year lol. I always save a bit of money then on my birthday buy myself a few things I want. I bet you’re the kind of person that makes everyone else's birthday special and it sucks when it’s not returned.

I never get anything from my hubby or kids or anyone. It does get me down some years, even someone saying happy birthday would be nice but hey ho. Hang in there, get well soon and maybe plan a day out somewhere when you're back on your feet.

A huge happy birthday to you from me 😃

I've just noticed that this post is months old! I hope you're fully recovered and things are better for you.