Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

Heartbroken? Seriously? Suck it up.

Not RTFT but could you volunteer to help the teacher to set up some sort of extracurricular club that your DS can attend (along with others, obvs!) that way they can stay in touch but your DS can have the experience of changing class teachers same as everyone else?

Perhaps a club for the hobby they share if that’s likely to benefit other kids too? If not, what sort of thing would the school’s pupils generally benefit from?

Be prepared to get a no due to an
ongoing lack of home/life balance for teachers but you are more likely to get a yes if you are willing to invest your own time (you’ll need to go through the DBS process).

It's not punishment, it's logistics. Being exposed to different people, teachers good and bad, are what builds resilience. If you think your (probably only) child is this perfect, you will get a shock at some point. I'm not trying to be rude here, but just trying to prepare you for life/ parenting.

Are you single?

Is Mr T Single?

Can you become Mrs T?

If yes, problem solved.

HTH

I saw the thread title and assumed the teacher had died. FFS. Your job as a parent is to help your child adjust to having a new teacher.

One of mine did - purely because they had one class per year group and one of the teachers (usual year 6 teacher) daughter was in my daughter's class - so when they went from year 5 to year 6 the old year 5 teacher became the year 6 teacher - so they had the same teacher 2 years running - to avoid someone teaching their own child - thats the sort of exceptional circumstances they are talking about

There is nothing more certain in life than change. Your son sounds lovely but he needs to get used to the fact nothing stays the same.

Many kids in the class won’t be musical, sporty, winning awards constantly etc. They will be struggling, lacking in confidence, have SPLDs or SEN.

My severely dyslexic child transformed under her version of Mr T. Had there been an opportunity for continuation I’m sure the head would have prioritised her over the children who were academically doing well, confident and socially skilled.

I think you need to understand your privilege and the fact your DS is ALREADY advantaged by being NT, talented and socially able. I think you have no concept of what it means to have a child who really needs support at school.

Unfortunately, it is the attitude of parents like the OP that makes some schools postpone telling parents about the new classes and teachers until as late as possible.

Disappointing if you thought he'd have the teacher again. In a normal sized school you wouldn't have the expectation of having the teacher twice. It's good your ds got to experience the teacher. It sounds like your ds is thriving so maybe they thought your ds would be fine anywhere but other kids needed the Mr T touch more.

@UtilitarianNameChange

Are you seriously recommending the OP organises an after school club that MrT can run so as to continue a " relationship" that she has magnified in her own mind! I would expect him to run a mile, it's tantamount to stalking!

I really hope this post is sarcasm. But I have my doubts...

I’m pretty disgusted by OP, the entitlement and superiority. And I have huge sympathy for any teacher who has to deal with this level of batshittery.

DD has had the same teacher for the final 3 years of her primary school. I wasn’t happy about this. But I also realised that this was a fucking ludicrous reason to whinge at the school about.

Its not a disadvantage. Its normal for kids in most schools where they change teacher each year.

I attended the funeral of a teacher friend yesterday. I thought the OP's son's teacher had died too.

OP I'm sure your son is well equipped to use the foundations this teacher gave him and hopefully he'll continue to thrive with his new teacher.

Putting him at a disadvantage? By getting a new teacher in year FOUR?! What kind of disadvantage? How? Most kids have to deal with this most year, and if anything he sounds pretty advantaged already IMHO. He will be just fine. Give your head a wobble.

This seems like a big deal now but I promise it won’t in future.
be positive about the change infront of your child,
don’t make their already difficult jobs more difficult!

The headteacher likely came to join the conversation to support Mr T with a demanding parent.
Write Mr T a nice card and move on.

I thought the teacher was dying or something …..

@Bluetie I know how important getting the right teacher is for a child. DS was struggling with arithmetic/maths in year 5 and was in the bottom section and put in with the year 4 pupils. His teacher didn’t like him and was always saying he couldn’t keep quiet. He couldn’t keep quiet because he was bored and was finishing his work before the other pupils.

He then had a fantastic teacher in year 6, who he really bonded with. He went from being in the bottom section in maths to the top section (in with year 7s) during that year. His behaviour and attitude completely changed with this teacher, because the teacher gave him work that challenged him and treated him with respect and DS returned that respect.

He, very luckily, had the same teacher in year 7 and was actually chosen as 1 of 4 pupils to represent the school at an inter-school competition, which they won. Without this teacher, he definitely wouldn’t have thrived the way he did in all subjects, not just in maths.

OP, such is life. It's an important life lesson.

That won’t wash, and nor should it. If the child's confidence has improved so much with Mr T, he’ll be able to cope fine with a new teacher.

@Fannyfiggs 😂😂😂

Exactly.

Also a possibility Mr T. asked for this separation

likely he felt the weird vibe 😉