Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

You (and OP) wouldn't think the system of changing teachers was "insane" if your child had a poor teacher, or one they really didn’t get on with, and were then told they had to have them again for the next three years.

I thought the teacher had a terminal illness or something!

There's another thread about how a new government will manage the expectations of a more entitled public.

This seems a very good example

me too at first glance @InsolentNoise 😆

It’s normal in primary school to change teachers every year. Mr T has helped your child a lot this year but the new teach may be able to help in some areas. I think you just need to accept the situation and try be positive.

The only thing I can think of is that you need to stop being a drama Llama and realise this is normal in a school. 🙄

If Mr T wanted your child in his new class, I’m sure he could have requested it.

I also suspect this is more about you than your child.

Please don’t volunteer to start a club with him - politely, you already sound a bit unhinged, and that pushes it into stalker territory

It sounds like you and your child have an unhealthy attachment to Mr T. Is he lacking male role models in his life or something?

This.

I thought you were going to say his teacher had died. Get a grip.

No its a creepy weirdo idea. Stop fantasising about Mr T

Good point maybe Mr (Tumble) asked for DS to be moved

Part of life is coping with change. It's normal for children to have different teachers each year, and that's actually a healthy opportunity for them to learn about working relationships changing and ending. There will be many important educational and social people who come in and out of your DS's life, and it's important for him to develop healthy ways of establishing and ending relationships.

I'd suggest modelling resilience. It's great that DS had a positive relationship and that relationship as it is, is changing. Your DS needs to see that it's ok for that to happen. Then, your DS gets to have a new relationship with Mr T based on being in the same school but different classes, and gets a new teacher as well - the new person could be great for your DS too, if they get given a chance.

Tangential, but now I'm curious— is this a thing, parents having crushes and/or making inappropriate advances towards their child's teacher?(!)

This.

Your son will have a new teacher each year. Best to accept it.

Not bitchy replies. Realistic ones. The OP needs to grow up and grow a pair for her son's sake. Damn lucky he's had a good teacher to date but changes happen and we have to bring our kids up to be resilient.

I have an autistic grandchild so I have some sympathy but DD would never behave like the OP is doing. Heartbroken indeed! No-one died. Now that would be heartbreaking.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Ds1 had a rough P1 with a teacher who really didn’t get him. In P2 he got Ms S. she was brilliant. All the children loved her and ds came on in leaps and bounds. The following year Ms S was moving to teach P1’s and I was desperately hoping ds2 (ASD, elective mute, minimal speech) would be in her class especially as he already knew her from visits with ds1. He was allocated the other class. To make it worse I found out, in the playground, on the first day that that there had been a bit of movement in the class allocation as some other parents had asked for their dc to be in Ms. S’ class. Parents of older children were also keen to tell me how hard this teacher was on the children and she wasn’t well liked. I was devastated and felt such guilt that I hadn’t even tried to get him moved.

Fast forward a couple of months. Ds2 loved his new teacher and would do his reading “out loud” for her. Ms S had a very aggressive child in the class that was constantly hurting the other children and the parents were complaining to the school and wanting the other child gone or their children moved. So we definitely ended up with the best deal. Year 4 May end up being the best year yet for your ds.

If you think this is a punishment you’re literally batshit! It’s totally normal for a new teacher to take over each year. I’m with everyone else on this thread you’re being more than unreasonable.

Well no, because you have said that All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN. None of those things have anything to do with being 'good' or 'bad'.

DS will do better overall if he learns that he is not special and that his achievements are down to his own efforts, resilience, and ability to grow during times of change. Support him to do this and it will be worth ten years with Mr. T.

I also thought the teacher had died, btw.

This does not actually help you but, don't you think that if Mr T is such a fantastic teacher it would be lovely for more pupils to benefit from his wisdom, instead of him always teaching the same children? Also my DD's class had the same teacher in year 1 and 2, who was admittedly very good. When they announced that the class would have a new teacher in year 3 a lot of parents were up in arms because they thought Mrs M was amazing, I conversely thought that our children needed to experience different teachers with different teaching styles , and as amazing as Mrs M was, for all we knew the new teacher could have been even better. ( She was IMHO!)

I work in a 3 form school and we have a male year 6. The children all worship him and, there are actual tears and tantrums from many of the year 5s when they discover that they haven't been placed in his class.

This coming Tuesday is "new class" day when they get to meet their new teacher. There will be the usual upset shortly followed by emails from parents demanding to know why their child hasn't been placed with Mr X.

It can get deeply undignified.

Omg you're being ridiculous. Kids get new teachers most years. Your child isn't anymore important than others kids. So being precious and deal with it.