To feel disappointed in my friends?

[TheOnlyVoter]

I’m 30yo Female.

Have a group of friends, mainly since school/college. 8 of us in a group chat. All range from 28 - 31 yo. See each other regularly. Meals out, baby showers, hen dos, bbq’s, etc. all close.

I am the only one who voted. The rest of them either couldn’t be bothered or “don’t understand politics”.

I feel really sad and disappointed. AIBU?

It's also worth pointing out - when women got the vote, it also gave lower class men the vote too, women being fully able to vote came later still

This is totally my point.

I’m more disappointed that my friends are in the ‘emotionally disenfranchised’ group rather than making the effort and spoiling their ballot.

you really have no right to complain when you haven’t tried to make your voice heard

How ridiculous - of course people who didn't vote still have the right to complain about ill treatment or shoddy public services.

People have a right to vote, but they're not obliged to - if an individual chooses not to, that's up to them, as it's their vote to use or abstain from using as they wish.

I have voted in the past. But I’ve not voted this time around, they are all a bunch of useless idiots. My friends understand my stance on this, they don’t feel disappointed because it’s my choice, and the respect my decisions. DP voted independence i believe as a tactical vote but would prefer Tory’s over labour and my FIL is a massive tory supporter. That’s thier choice. I’m not politically inclined but I do pay attention to certain things… I’m just living my life, day by day, we’ve had ups and downs in my 36 years of existence and I survived. I have a roof over my head (owned outright) and that’s all that matters.

And until 106 years ago, all men didn't have the vote either. People seem to forget that a lot.

@TheOnlyVoter I bet a lot of them did but didn't want to talk about it.

I don’t give a monkeys who my friends, family, colleagues etc vote for.

I’m just disappointed they didn’t vote at all.

You might not discuss it with people, but a lot of other people do. It shouldn’t be taboo.

I was always taught not to discuss politics. Maybe your friends just don't want to have a conversation about it. Sometimes easier to say you didn't vote

But some people may not want to discuss it

This!!

I think if someone is eligible and fit (physically, mentally and practically) to vote, but chooses not to for 3 consecutive elections, they should have their right to vote removed.

Not just women. Peterloo massacre, etc.
Sorry, don't want to be pedantic, and as much as I respect the suffragettes - lots of people think it's just a women's issue and men have always been able to vote - but before the 1918 Representation of the People Act, only about 60% of men were entitled to vote. 100 years before that it was only about 11%. People have fought so hard for the ordinary person to be entitled to have a voice I think it's respectful of us to use it - even if it's just voting for the least worse candidate.

although saying that, given the examples on the 'I vote for who my husband tells me too' thread running atm, I suppose not voting is probably better than voting uninformed - but to me that itself isn't justifiable in this day and age, its so easy to at least get a basic understanding of the parties - the manifestos are available for free online, you can do 3 minute quizzes to work out which party your values are most closely affiliated with, or watch 30 second tiktoks that summarise everything.

I really struggled this time, it hardly seemed worth it because there is no one who really inspires me at all. However, my dad would be horrified if I failed to vote, he taught us how important it is. I remember going with him and he proudly told anyone he could catch that it was my first time. So I looked at our local candidates and picked the one that I know has been good for our area up until now. That was the best way for me to choose this time

At 30, there is no excuse for "not understanding politics". We live in a time where we have the world in our pocket. If you don't understand something there are numerous websites that can explain things to you or quiz sites like voteforpolicies.org.uk, which can tell you which political party aligns with your own personal values on different issues.

I don’t understand the ins and outs of politics, especially compared to my educated MC DH and his family, so I never ever enter any kind of politics talks.

I do understand what women’s suffrage is though and would never dream of ever wasting a vote. I didn’t vote in my first 2 elections and regretted it ever since. I also understand what’s important to me and what I mainly Do Not want in a government. I’m sure many will mock my uneducated views and voting reasoning, but most important to me is I do what I feel is right, which is what a democracy is about.

Ive found I have become more aware of the importance of voting as I’ve gotten older which is why I think the voting age should be increased. I know “educated” teens would not agree, but it’s not an even playing field for school leavers and for many of us understanding the importance of elections and politics isnt something we are taught from young ages. It’s only through experience we see how important it is.

Me too. I absolutely love voting, and I think about the brave women who fought for my right to vote every single time I step into a polling station. Today I had the joy of taking my DS with me for the first time, and I felt moved thinking that comparatively few children in history will have watched their mums vote like it's normal, and see all the women and men in that polling station on equal footings, their voices counting the same. There are many things I worry about, when it comes to the type of society and planet that we are leaving for our children, but today I had the rare feelings that we've at least got something majorly right.

Having said that - OP, I'd try not to take it personally and try to avoid disappointment. I think that people can go through stages and depending on what's going on in their immediate life, politics can seem daunting and distant from the details of their lives. Also people sometimes don't vote if nothing feels like a perfect fit, or I'd they feel disenfranchised by the system. The real question is, why haven't these politicians managed to inspire people to vote for them?

Alternatively you can invite them round for a viewing of Paola Cortellesi's film "there's still tomorrow". I am not exaggerating when I say that this film is the most perspective changing film I've ever seen in my life. I'd recommend everyone see it, it'll get you running to the polling station.

I can not imagine not voting. My DC get the concept. If you don't vote then never complain about the state of the country

I agree with this. I know someone who openly admits they never read or watch the news (which I know is a slightly different example), and yet they have an opinion on most things. This might sound harsh, but I don’t think they deserve to have an opinion on things if they don’t inform themselves.

Similarly, with your example, I agree that voting gives you a clear ‘stake’ and input into the running of your society, and if you choose not to vote, it’s not fair to complain about it.

It's still nothing to do with you if they don't want too.
They don't have to justify it to you.

I absolutely agree with all of this, @ComtesseDeSpair , apart from "it’s ultimately no different to not having bothered in the first place."

You may think that, but at least the spoiled papers are counted and recognised, even if the have zero impact on the end result.

When we had the brexit vote, I didn't vote. I didn't agree with the referendum period, and I lacked (and still lack) the ability to know what I was voting for one way or the other. However, the next day there was much talk on radio and TV about the 1/3 (approx) of people who "couldn't be bothered to vote", as though each and everyone of those people had given it no thought, no consideration, nothing. In my case that was far from true, and I only wish I'd turned up to spoil my paper, so as not to have felt that "I couldn't be bothered".

As for your last line "There’s no point getting riled up over other people’s attitude to politics", amen to that.

So many at work today saying they dont vote. It's shocking.

My kids voted for tge first tkme in a gen rlection because I am really strong on needing to use the powers your given and voting gives us a power to influence policies etc.

@TheOnlyVoter I'm 46, male. Both my parents are dead. Ditto my in-laws. I am all but estranged from one sister, the other has care needs that mean she could never support anyone.

I have a very good life partner, and a sister-in-law on the fringes of it.

But that's it. No one else, no children. My friends are my world, they are my support network, my everything. I do not like all aspects of their personalities, likewise nor do they of me. Some friends I have known for years and years, and yet I don't know them well, but the trust and friendship is solidly rooted. All my friends can be called upon in an emergency.

Choose your battles. People exercising their right not to vote it just that - them exercising their right to do so. But if you really, really value your friends, you will find what matters most.

Yanbu

i am not that political but I always vote because women have their lives fighting for us to vote

i am 31 and one of my friends couldn’t remember if she was registered to vote… went down the polling station and wasn’t registered… I was so shocked!

So many at work today saying they dont vote. It's shocking.

I don't understand how anyone is shocked by this when the election results always display the voter turnout for each seat.

The results show that lots of people don't vote so why is this surprising to the people who are engaged with the election process?

It's their choice, and to be honest, there wasn't exactly anyone inspiring to vote for. (Yes, I did vote)

Do they normally vote?

You’re right, they don’t have to justify it to me. Nor have I or will I ask them to. Ever.

I’m just disappointed that they haven’t been and even spoiled their ballots.