To let my DD quit her sport?

[roughride24]

She's just 7 so is still really young I know.

She's been doing gymnastics for 4 years now and it's always been her passion. The house is full of mats, bar, beam etc and she never stops playing on them.

She's in a team working up towards the squad to compete nationally. She loves her team and her coach and always has a great time. She's learned so many skills and keeps up so well, no doubt that she's on track.

Occasionally she's moaned about going after school when tired. I'll be able to get her there though with no issue and she'll trot in quite happily. Lately though she's becoming really upset, almost panicking the day before and I've had to put her in the car and carry her in.

She really wants to quit. I've always said that's fine but she needs to give it a month to be sure. She won't do this - for her it needs to be now. I can't keep carrying her in and don't want to ruin sport for her in the future by making it such a huge deal. I also don't want her to make any rash decisions as it won't be easy to get back into it.

There haven't been any triggers that I've seen or heard such as injury, I honestly think she's tired with the end of term and this is the only thing that can give for her right now.

Has anyone been through this?

I’m hoping it’s because she’s just burned out but hobbies are a place where kids can get bullied or abused too. They are one of the places they ar away from us. Whether it’s her coaches or team mates pushing her too hard and making her feel emotional or potentially something more serious, kids have a way of telling us when they don’t feel safe and happy in a place.

from what you’ve said about her reaction to tumbling, she loves what she’s doing but the setting is not right for her. I’d pull her out immediately.

I felt like this when one of my dds gave up dance at a similar age. She’s now doing synchronised swimming to a high level. Would never have predicted that, she went along to it after a random conversation one day.
i guess what im saying is it might not be the catastrophe you think it is. I agree with taking the pressure off for a bit and then seeing what she decides but it will give space for other opportunities if she decides not to continue

For those of you worried, I'm pulling her out. I'm not forcing a crying child any more, she hasn't been for a week and was upset for the 2 classes prior to that.

She's very excited at the thought of cheer and decided to do her conditioning tonight without any prompting so she can still do her skills. Here's hoping a change of sport - although it's more side stepping - gives her more joy. Also it seems to be more of a team sport which might quash that competitive side slightly 🤞. She has a trial so we'll see what that brings. I'm going to keep her out of the competition side and opt for rec if she's successful.

If that fails then she can stick to swimming for a while and consider something else down the line.

Thanks for all of your advice ❤️

I can only speak about Cheer but even the competitive teams will probably be 5ish competitions per year and the big difference is they are a team, no competing against your club friends it's all team work.

Of course not, but it’s worth acknowledging that children go through phases, it could be that she just needs a break. Another child could have upset her, she could just be genuinely exhausted.

A break, some time to consider after speaking to coaches and making adjustment's, I think, would be best.

I assume that at some point she really wanted this. I’m also assuming it cost a fortune to get her the equipment and lessons, that’s not something you throw away without really considering it.

If after a month or two she doesn’t want to be on the team then I would respect that. I would make her aware that she needs another sport/activity to replace it. I wouldn’t make her feel bad for dropping it, I would just ask her to really consider it. To make a decision she won’t regret it in the long run.

I think we can let children give up to easily, I don’t think it’s good for them.

Of course not, but it’s worth acknowledging that children go through phases, it could be that she just needs a break. Another child could have upset her, she could just be genuinely exhausted.

A break, some time to consider after speaking to coaches and making adjustment's, I think, would be best.

I assume that at some point she really wanted this. I’m also assuming it cost a fortune to get her the equipment and lessons, that’s not something you throw away without really considering it.

If after a month or two she doesn’t want to be on the team then I would respect that. I would make her aware that she needs another sport/activity to replace it. I wouldn’t make her feel bad for dropping it, I would just ask her to really consider it. To make a decision she won’t regret it in the long run.

I think we can let children give up to easily, I don’t think it’s good for them.

That's what my plan is and I totally agree with you. I've asked for a chat with the coach to find out if there is an option to rest for a while but I'm not hopeful as they're moving forward so quickly, DD will have so much to catch up on. This will make it worse for her as being behind really impacts on her. She always wants to be the best and struggles when she isn't.
I do think it's a phase, there is so much going on with us all at the minute that something has to give and for her that's gym. She's happy to go to an activity tonight for an hour as usual so that's positive.

I've spent an absolute fortune on classes, outfits and comps but that's fine, the Leo's can go on vinted and she's seen so much benefit from the training. She can keep the home equipment for messing on for now and find her next thing.
She's said herself that she doesn't want to lose her strength and flexibility she worked so hard to get. She isn't a naturally flexible or strong girl and has put so much work in. Her pull ups and press ups are something else, and she can now do the splits easily after trying for so long.
I agree that it will be good for her to do something with less pressure, fewer hours and to keep up what strengths she has already. Team work is a bonus. Comps were a struggle for her although she always did well, she's painfully shy so having all eyes on her was tough - I was always so incredibly proud that she completed them. Having a team around her I think will help her with this. Cheer seems to be a good move from what I've read.

I quit suddenly at this age. Some other kids were making means comments and I couldn't face going back. Years later one girl apologized and told me she was jealous. I did rejoin a few years later.

It is always a tough one with sport or instruments! You can only make them up to a point, though, ultimately it’s their call.

Personally, I think 9 hours a week at 7 years old is just way too much. I know gymnastics works that way, but there is also plenty of evidence that it damages young bodies longer term.

The general advice re talented children and sports (from the head of PE at a school I knew) is to let them try and enjoy lots of different sports before really making a choice (if they want to) in their early teens. That is meant to give the best outcomes both physically and mentally.

DD12 has been a gymnast since she was 4 and on the squad since 6 years old. It's a massive commitment! She trains 13 hours a week, plus competitions and extra training in the summer.

She's never complained about training, even the stamina and conditioning, which is a huge part of the sport, it's not just all the fun stuff.

It's more than a hobby for the girls on the squad, it's a lifestyle. The girls who aren't as dedicated get their hours cut right back, then they end up quitting because they don't progress.

The other thing to remember is that if she misses training often, she will get kicked off the squad.

I have a swimmer, and our advice is that they shouldn't be doing more hours of sport per week than their age and sounds too much and she's clearly not enjoying it.
Hopefully the coach will be approachable and help.

I'd speak to her coach first. Then see if she could take a couple of weeks off. She might miss her gym friends and ask to return. In the school holidays she could potentially do both swimming and gymnastics.

Don’t give it a second thought! It’s great if kids get to try out different activities. Both of mine as teens had one that “stuck” and they did until gcse level. The other stuff fell by the wayside and that’s fine! I’ve picked up a sport I did at school 30 odd years ago and am enjoying it.

At 7 my dd went right off dance and gymnastics, both which she attended since 3. It was a big part of our lives at the time. And I did try to persevere but she was also getting upset so we did quit.

I think her personality was developing and she now thoroughly enjoys clubs like young writers club, a music lesson and also a social gamers club, which she goes to happily with no pushback.

I have said that she does need to have a sport and we have tried various ones. She currently just quit athletics and I have either tennis or netball in the pipeline as I think it's important to keep trying to find a sport she enjoys for her health and also the message that I feel it sends to her that moving your body is something you should be doing.

I don't want her to be unhappy doing a sport so tend to give it a good go for 6 months or less and move on. We've tried football, various martial arts and swimming club. I think she leans towards creative things because she likes a chat whilst working alongside like minded classmates at the club and that's OK.

I'd let your daughter quit and test out creative clubs. Then maybe add in a sport in a year or so with the message it's good to try new things, "once you've given it a good go we can try something else" :)

My DD was the same and I let her stop. She'd just got to a point it wasn't fun for her. She tried her hand (feet!) at rollerskating and was fab but finally moved into taekwondo. On the Poomsae side. Her flexibility from gymnastics has seen her taekwondo rocket up past people who have been doing it longer.
Just take the transferable stuff she can do and go and let her try other things. Core strength, fitness and flexibility will read across to loads of other sports. The new classes you've found sound fab for her. I hope she enjoys them.

She's 7, not elite level. Let her stop whenever the term finishes or if you have to give notice. There are so many other sports and activities for which it is good foundation and discipline. Let her move on but maintain a certain level of activity and fitness.

DD was a squad gymnast who quit age 8. She was very strong and excellent at vault and bars, but just got bored and put off when she wasn’t allowed to wear hand guards, even when her hands were bleeding after 6h long summer holiday sessions. She needed to ‘toughen her hands up’ apparently. I should have pulled her out earlier.

Age 12, she now plays county netball and ranked top 10 nationally across 4 different athletics disciplines. I really believe the strength, flexibility and work ethic gymnastics gave her has been a huge part of that, so I don’t regret her time as a gymnast, but pleased she’s successfully moved on to other sports she’d never have had the time to try if she was still a gymnast.

One thing about gymnastics is it can be quite scary. Our gym wasn't as equipped as your typical gym with mats all over the place like now, but I got to a point where I was too scared to progress on vault and beam. Dunno if that's a factor for your daughter.

That’s kids, really like something one minute and then switch to something else. Just let her quit, she may return to it in future or may not. Definitely don’t force her to continue if she isn’t interested.

I think you made the right call in letting her have a break, and possible reset.
It's also worth considering that after the summer holidays, she will be starting Yr. 3, and in my time as a KS2 teacher, I've seen that take the wind out of many a pupil's sails! They do adjust, but it can really knock them for six at first, just as starting in Reception does for some children, and although being active is very important, she'll probably cope better with an activity that lets her use her skills and let off steam without competitive pressure.
You might even find that she misses gymnastics when she regains her equilibrium, but if she takes to another sport, the grounding she got from gymnastics will stand her in good stead.

Let her quit. Perhaps you could find a hobby that uses the skills she has, but is less intense.

I know it’s different but my 12 year old is about to quit dance after 9 years! Mainly because she has found she loves netball more and wants to commit to more training on that front (she currently trains twice a week for netball and wants to up it to three). This is pretty sad for me as I myself have built a great community round the dance mums!

However it’s her choice, she’s just much more passionate about netball now, so I’d say give it a break and then see if there is anything else she wants to try?

This is great advice.
She is very youngs and looks like she needs a break. I do think talking to her coach is best rather than pulling her out completely.

It's not about wanting your children go to the Olympics, I certainly not my case.
But once they become preteens and teens you will be glad they focus in a sport after school. Or at least that is our case with our two teens (different sports at competitive level). It gets them to focus in something that requires discipline and get them out of trouble. They make great friends at the club. It makes a big difference.

Is there a new team member or has a team member moved away a new member of staff I would seek out a child councillor and let them speak to your dd they will get to the bottom of any worries of insecurity this is stemming from good luck

So she’s panicking, and rather than listening to her, you’re carrying her in against her will and forcing her to take part in something that is causing her distress? Why?!?!