To let my DD quit her sport?

[roughride24]

She's just 7 so is still really young I know.

She's been doing gymnastics for 4 years now and it's always been her passion. The house is full of mats, bar, beam etc and she never stops playing on them.

She's in a team working up towards the squad to compete nationally. She loves her team and her coach and always has a great time. She's learned so many skills and keeps up so well, no doubt that she's on track.

Occasionally she's moaned about going after school when tired. I'll be able to get her there though with no issue and she'll trot in quite happily. Lately though she's becoming really upset, almost panicking the day before and I've had to put her in the car and carry her in.

She really wants to quit. I've always said that's fine but she needs to give it a month to be sure. She won't do this - for her it needs to be now. I can't keep carrying her in and don't want to ruin sport for her in the future by making it such a huge deal. I also don't want her to make any rash decisions as it won't be easy to get back into it.

There haven't been any triggers that I've seen or heard such as injury, I honestly think she's tired with the end of term and this is the only thing that can give for her right now.

Has anyone been through this?

I wouldn’t let her quit, I would let her take a break. She’s so young, and she could come to regret it.
Make sure there are no underlying reason's she’s worried. She made a commitment to the team, she should continue to honour that commitment.
Talk to her coaches, respect her concerns, but you have invested time and money in supporting her, she needs to give it much more time.

Agree with the consensus on here - there's no point forcing it. But I would talk to the coach to try and understand it if she's naturally so talented?

DD was gymnastics obsessed age 7 - but then she discovered netball. Maybe your dd just hasn't found her sport yet?

She can always go back to if if she changes her mind.

Gymnastics is brutal. And physically and psychologically pretty damaging. In your shoes I'd be heaving a huge sigh of relief.

My daughter was in the development squad at 7 doing 10-12 hours a week. She really was exceptionally talented (not just a mums rose tinted glasses). She started moaning about going, then outright refusing and crying. She started gettting tummy aches around the same time, we think anxiety related. We 'let her' quit after a couple of months of this, only waiting so long because she too was conflicted as she absolutely loved parts of gymnastics (being so good, being able to do fantastic handsprings etc) but the training was too gruelling and intense for her (and many others her age). As parents we had to admit we were gutted due to our own aspirations and pride in her talents. She now does cheerleading. It's more fun, more of a team sport and she still gets to do the handsprings! She is overall a happier child. Let you daughter quit - she'll find something else.

I would suggest letting her try Allstar Cheer, far fewer hours she will be good at it and will keep her tumble skills going.

Thank you all so much for the advice. I'll get a chat with her coaches in as soon as I can to see if they have any thoughts. It's heartening to know that others have been in the same situation. I feel daft that I'm so invested and not just letting it go.

Tumbling or cheer might be a good option for her. Whilst she doesn't want to go to her sessions she's still messing about at home with it so the love hasn't gone totally, she started the day with a cartwheel handstand and ended yesterday with walk overs which makes me think an alternative might work for her. Floor is her favourite discipline so maybe taking the beam and bar out of the equation could be it 😃

Have you thought about Acrogymnastics? Might suit her if she loves floor?

It's end of the year and she's tired.

As she loved it so much Id be having a discussion with her and trying to make sure I had all the bases covered.

Ensure her nutrition is right and she's getting enough food and the right sort for her age, sex and energy levels. Make sure she's drinking enough and getting enough sleep.

Make sure she has good quality gear so doing the tasks are more comfortable like hand guards.

If she still isn't loving it then exploring related sports she can take her transferable skills to
Dance
Acro
Rhythmic
Synchronised Swimming
Trampolining
Yoga
Rock climbing
Baton twirling is an old video but shows the gymnastics skills required at the highest levels.

Anything requiring a serious amount of flexibility requires a lot of training and conditioning as otherwise the muscles don't stretch. Equally any of those sports at a competitive level requires a huge investment in time and money.

DD tried various sports over the years, we've finally settled on rugby, 1 X mid week training and 1 training or Match on a Sunday, September - May. A couple of months off which overlaps when she's tired at the end of term and then pre training conditioning in August. Cheapest activity so far £70 a year subs, subsidised training shorts andt shirt £5 each, all she needs full price is a few mouth guards, boots and socks.

It's quite disgusting that you force her to go and carry her in.

Stop doing that.

Speak to the coaches.

one big alarm bell though is you say you have a houseful of gymnastics equipment. When does she get away from it?

speak to the coaches. Get rid of every last bit of home equipment. Home should be a place away from the gym mentally and physically. She doesn’t need to train at home, the long hours in the gym are more than enough. Add to that is often results in bad technique when they are self taught or practice with bad habits. Ditch it.

i’d let her take the summer off. Chances are she needs a break and will want to go back- speak to the coaches and make that an option. If she doesn’t want to go back no harm.

maybe something that’s less intense and more fun but still gymnastic would be good like others have said. Acro or trampolining maybe. Perhaps the push to the squad has been quite hard going for her. I would definitely try and keep her doing something where she uses her gymnastics skills if you can but something that’s more fun for her to enjoy. Gymnastics at squad level only gets more and more intense as they get older. My son quit at 6- he was doing 9 hours a week on the squad which was set to go up to 16 then 20. He swapped to football and has never regretted it.

She's currently on 9 hours a week which is a lot I know. Squad are massively higher so I did wonder in a year or two would it be too much.

She hasn't been in for a week, she cried for the 2 sessions prior to this and was happy once she was in which is what made me so conflicted. If she'd been upset throughout or not wanted to do anything that would have been the decision made for me.

Near us there is a circus skills club, it looks amazing, lots of crossover from gymnastics but AFAIK they do displays, but not competition

If floor is her favourite, there are many other options - tumbling and TeamGym have much lower training hours than WAG but can still be done to a national standard. They tend to start slightly older than WAG too.

There’s also a ‘Lite’ pathway where competitions are just at County level. The maximum training hours are 6 hours/week for this pathway.

Mini blondes is 7 and does gym

But 1.5hrs a week once a week and then 3hrs so an extra 1.5 for a few weeks before a competition but then Back to 1.5

9hrs sounds a lot. Is it over a couple of evenings and few hours at weekend

Can she do less hours and go back to enjoying gym

It's 3 hours 3 x weekly including Saturdays so to be fair after a day at school it's pretty tiring.

I've looked around locally and found a cheer club and a tumbling club, I asked her if this would be better and her face lit up. I've enquired at both about availability so we shall see how we get on. Both seem to be 1.5 hours twice a week which is far more manageable I think.

Oh that sounds great. I bet she would be brilliant at both with her skills

Yes sounds s lot

I know Tom will shatter mini blondes as 3hrs for next weeks competition but least weekend

We've just done the exact same thing.
My daughter is 7. She was dancing 3 hrs per week. She's been with the school since she was 3 years old!

The last 6 months or so had been a bit of a struggle to get her excited to go. She always loved it but would get upset and really quiet before lessons.

The classes increased in time from September as she will be yr3. I spoke to her and explained she can stop if she's not enjoying it and that's what she has decided. Sport is so important for lots of reasons but also she's 7. My gut was telling me she needed to just enjoy Saturdays with her family and not have to run about after a school.
We've told her she can choose something else or go back whenever she's ready.

Let her have a break so she does resent it in future ❤️

Not to be overly dramatic as she could just be a bit tired as you say, but I was sexually abused as a young gymnast and the sport is notorious for that as well as bullying and toxic culture, are you 100% sure she is well safeguarded when she is there?

How long for if she doesn't want to do it? A year, 5 years?

It is gym class for 7 year olds not the olympics!

I feel sorry for any 7 year old in tears being carried into her 9th hour that week of something she hates and finds painful.

As a parent watching her perceived potential I understanding how proud OP must be, but this about the child not the parent, forcing her to go is wrong. A 7 year old is not responsible for the time and cost incurred by an adults decision to start a sport when they were age 3/4, they are allowed to decide they don't want to do it anymore.

bloody hell, you can’t force a 7 year old to do a sport activity. Carrying her in?!?!
anxious the day before!

she should stop .let her stop now.
and maybe she’ll want to start up again.
or maybe she won’t ever want to do it again.and both of those are absolutely ok.

making a kid do a non essential activity by force is not ok.

Agree, this needs to be fun for her. If it’s not, what’s the point? There are plenty of other things that she can do and not so many hours a week. Humans need down time or we burn out. It’s no different for children, and we as parents need to recognise that and factor it in for our kids. They can’t understand burn out or recognise the signs in themselves; it’s our duty to monitor their mental well-being as much as we do their physical health.
Equally, I’d say when you’re young is exactly the time to try different things and find out what you like and don’t like. I don’t see picking up and dropping hobbies as a bad thing at all at the age of 7! It’s all about exploration. Having them do some form of sport gives them the physicality to be able to turn their hand to lots of different activities of course, but limiting her to one thing is exactly that. Limiting. At professional level injuries can and do happen. You wouldn’t want her to feel she has to retire from all sport if gymnastics suddenly became out of reach.