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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

An apology, for a stupid mistake.

40 replies

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 09:56

Some while back I posted something totally stupid on here, and it still haunts me. It was ill informed, it was done in haste, and it created mayhem. I want to apologise for that. And, if people believe it is unreasonable for me to try and bury my shame, by that means, then I am fully ready to accept that. This will be a little long, because I need to get it right. It may be vaguely amusing, for some, and if it so then I have zero issues with that. (Like I'm the reactions police!)

I bought a r/c car for my nephew, when he was 12. I am his uncle. First issue with the original post is that people assumed I was his aunt, and in the shit storm that ensued (and with me genuinely not understanding how to negotiate specific responses, on this site) I never put that right - and that meant that I couldn't even engage with people who were trying to be helpful, once it had all gone so far... The responses came so thick and fast (I was expecting maybe a handful) that there was no way I could deal with ANY of it, sensibly. I posted, and quite soon after grabbed a bite to eat, looked back and.... JFC!

Anyway, the model cost quite a bit, and was quite cool, and I said he could take it down to the area outside my (Social Housing) flat, and play with it on the tarmac that used to be a car park, but by then had a gate where the dustcart people have keys, and the fire brigade and, yes, it IS possible for cars to come in - to a restricted area, with a 5mph limit, but where if someone HAD somehow managed to run it over, by accident, I would probably have taken that hit. Warnings along those lines WERE in place. But, maybe even the permission on THAT area was a bad idea. However, it has these old decayed mini speed bumps, that were perfect, and most other areas round our way are taken over (quite rightly) by sports.

I was actually with him, down there, for a while, and then I went up to my flat. It's at the end of a block, first floor, nearest to the access road into the estate as a whole, and I watched for a bit, then went in. My nephew (I know a lot of this, because of subsequent conversations) then assumed I wouldn't know if he took the car under the barrier (where there was another of those little speedbumps) and out into the main access road. That road is quiet, and kids DO play on it, and it is blocked at one end to stop people rat-running. I've had to stop, before, for skateboards and bikes. I'm not saying it's right, that kids do this, and it is something I had absolutely told my nephew not to do, along with me telling him that if he ever saw a ball (or even an animal) go into a road, of any kind, he was NOT to chase after it. He did, on one occasion, follow that advice and see someone else's ball get run over by a bus, in an entirely different road. I'm afraid that rather fascinated him, but I still believe that what happened to his car (yes, getting to that) was NOT intentional, on his part.

So, he (meaning his toy) was now in the actual road, where he should NOT have been, even though this was hardly the M4. And, inevitably, a car came along. A woman, in a 4 x 4. The size of the car IS actually relevant, and only further underlines how stupid and (unwittingly) irresponsible this all was. My nephew ( I believe him) said afterwards that he did NOT try to 'buzz' her, or anything. What he did in fact do was leave his toy, still in the road, but on the opposite side to her approaching car. (This part, I happened to walk out and see, from the raised walkway to outside my flat, and it wasn't good viewing.)

What my nephew failed to take account of, was that the parking is on one side of the road, as the woman was approaching the flat, but on the OTHER side, for once she would have passed. So, she proceeded to cross the white lines, as she came towards his smaller car, and then ran her wheels right over it, and then kept going. I drive a car myself (I didn't say much about that, because of the whole Social Housing thing) but even I didn't catch on, straight away, as to the effect of the parking, on her clear decision to cross to the wrong side of the road, at that point. I CAN say, however, that I believe I would have been able to avoid the toy, given the speeds and distances involved, BUT, if I had come along in my own car, and seen what my nephew was doing, I'm not entirely sure that I would have. However, that would need to assume that I had not given my blessing to him playing in a disused car park, in the first place.

Anyway, we're getting the smashed mess out of the road, when she comes back. Given the nature of that road, this is NOT actually all that surprising - although I never said enough, so as to make clear how likely that would be. Perfectly possible that she discovered the road was bollarded, further down, or that she had dropped something off, again further down a closed road. She then pulled up and asked my nephew if he'd enjoyed what had happened. He started crying. Actually, in the end, I have no issues with this. Even if she did it totally on purpose, and then hammered it home, I still have no issues. In hindsight. Issues, only, with her needing to have been involved, at all.

I am NOT saying I had no responsibility in all this. I bought the car, I set him up in a (non) car park, I left him to his own devices, I did NOT specifically say, on THAT occasion, that he was on NO ACCOUNT to take that car into the road, or even to where it could be seen from the road, in motion. I genuinely hate when kids are allowed to do that. So, I didn't get it right, on that count, AT ALL.

I didn't get it right, either, in how I dealt with her. This was because I perceived her as aggressive, and almost like she was taunting him, and I didn't even get close to giving the apology I should have given, or to asking my nephew to do the same - regardless of tears. I knew, in my heart, that was wrong, and I did EXPECT to be told that, by some people, even though (yes, I admit) I deliberately chose to post in a place where I'd hoped the backlash wouldn't be TOO bad. I'm not a big SM person, even now. I DID feel bad for my nephew, despite everything. He clearly did not think about the set up of the road, when compounding his stupid decision, and what happened as a result was completely inexplicable, to him. He learned a great deal, that day, as did we all. I made a post, pointing a finger where I knew, even when I was still massively upset, I should not have been pointing it.

And, yes, perhaps it is still wrong, for me to try and get rid of my shame about this, with yet another dumb post. But, a part of this IS about saying sorry. I created a lot of anger, by not setting anything out properly, by feeling a bit pissed off, and by just hanging that washing out for other people to have to waste time and energy on.

Last bit. In the original post I also acted as if I had no idea that kids throw things under cars. I know it very well. A part of what I DID need people to remind me was, he might have taken a gift of mine, and decided he actually WANTED to see it get flattened. I was struggling to accept that possible reality.

I 'like' to think that a lot of his upset, afterwards, was about how this had played out for all three of us. And, for my own record, I honestly don't think that destruction was the intent. I think it was something entirely different. The r/c was actually a miniature of a real car, and quite big, as models go. He just wanted to see it on a real road, and didn't think - including not thinking about the result, for MOST cars, if the driver had needed to do the same thing.

If you got to the end of this, sorry. Sorry, for both posts, but more to do with the length, on this one. He's a great lad, and a lot of people in the first post were positive about what I try to do for him, however sometimes misguided. I hated that I couldn't even respond to THOSE comments. I'm not sure I've ever made myself look quite so utterly disgraceful, in my entire life!

OP posts:
dudsville · 03/07/2024 10:04

Hey @Weezapleeza , I didn't see your other thread, but based on what I've read here I think you're being awfully self critial to have held on to this experience so deeply. Social Media is a nightmare place, these aren't real relationships and people express themselves in ways that a lot of us wouldn't ordinarily come across in our usual social spheres. Whether your actions and the way you expressed yourself are something you're critical of or not, or others are critical of or not, you do not have to wear your heart on your sleeve for the approval of the anonymous masses.

dudsville · 03/07/2024 10:07

Also, your post reminded me of this, check out Season 1 Episode 7 of The Orville!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 03/07/2024 10:08

You had a go at the woman and you feel ashamed? I would've had a go at her too. Driving through a very quiet access road on an estate, you have to be alert to kids, their footballs and their toys. Dogs too.

I think the You Are Being Unreasonable votes on here are for you being hard on yourself. I'm sorry for your nephew and his car. Sounds as if he wasn't doing anything wrong - he didn't run into the road. It's not unreasonable that he took his car to play there.

One more thing - there are some lovely, helpful people on here. But things can change very quickly, with other people piling on to give someone a good kicking. It's not real life. Don't take to heart the criticism you got on your first post. You need a hard hat (and a suit of armour) to post on here because you'll get uninformed people wading in because they're frustrated in their own lives. Put this behind you and go back to real life! You sound like a lovely uncle.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:14

dudsville · 03/07/2024 10:04

Hey @Weezapleeza , I didn't see your other thread, but based on what I've read here I think you're being awfully self critial to have held on to this experience so deeply. Social Media is a nightmare place, these aren't real relationships and people express themselves in ways that a lot of us wouldn't ordinarily come across in our usual social spheres. Whether your actions and the way you expressed yourself are something you're critical of or not, or others are critical of or not, you do not have to wear your heart on your sleeve for the approval of the anonymous masses.

Thank you. It wasn't really about how it affected me, but about the absolute mess it caused. I do know that it is not actually my responsibility, as to how people chose to express themselves anonymously, but quite a few people who were being really nice to me (as his 'aunt') faced some quite scathing opinions. I ended up having to post something that basically threw them under the bus, in order to try and dampen down a fire from a post that I discovered I couldn't delete.

I am generally really careful not to put people into positions like that, and that is where my shame has continued. I also felt I should have made a clearer apology, at the time. But it was so out of hand, and so much was getting lost in the waves, that it was all but impossible.

I very much appreciate what you are saying, though, and your time to read, and say it.

OP posts:
Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:17

dudsville · 03/07/2024 10:07

Also, your post reminded me of this, check out Season 1 Episode 7 of The Orville!

@dudsville

I will. And I responded to your comment. I still have zero idea as to how you actually 'reply', on here, so that the person knows it!

Thank you!!

(I'm not usually as crazily contrite, but this one was bad, in my head!)

OP posts:
ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/07/2024 10:19

I never saw your original post but I don't think you were being unreasonable in the first place

Sounds like she deliberately drove over the toy and then came and mocked your nephew. Utterly disgusting

And don't worry, people say all sorts of worse stuff on here.

CelesteCunningham · 03/07/2024 10:22

Your original thread was 3.5 years ago, why is this all not long forgotten? It's not proportionate to still be worried about what strangers on the internet said or thought all those years ago.

What do you mean when you say you created mayhem? Do you mean in real life? Because if you mean a debate on the thread, there'll be 20 similar threads a day. Confused

heldinadream · 03/07/2024 10:23

Thank you. It wasn't really about how it affected me, but about the absolute mess it caused. I do know that it is not actually my responsibility, as to how people chose to express themselves anonymously, but quite a few people who were being really nice to me (as his 'aunt') faced some quite scathing opinions. I ended up having to post something that basically threw them under the bus, in order to try and dampen down a fire from a post that I discovered I couldn't delete.
Mate, gently, it's the internet. People 'express themselves' everywhere, all over it, every day. You did nothing wrong in posting no-one got hurt in responding and I doubt any of them even remember because they will have 'expressed themselves' on eleventy billion other threads since then. You sound like you've got a massive case of over-responsibility. Chill. It's all good, really it is. Have a hug.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:30

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/07/2024 10:19

I never saw your original post but I don't think you were being unreasonable in the first place

Sounds like she deliberately drove over the toy and then came and mocked your nephew. Utterly disgusting

And don't worry, people say all sorts of worse stuff on here.

@ButWhatAboutTheBees

Tbh, I am more than 50% that that was exactly what happened. But I never gave ANY of the context required, and I set up a firestorm.

Retrospectively, that was what I hated. While it was going on, it was a nightmare, and I am still often reminded of it.

How sad is that!

And, I would have willingly paid the price of that car, for what got learned. The tears, too, I'm happy to live with. He has a bike, and he is WAY more aware of what he needs to be looking out for, including the people who act like he has no right to ride it.

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jgjgjgjgjg · 03/07/2024 10:32

It sounds as if you are way over thinking this. Hanging on to it for 3.5 years isn't normal or healthy,and must be exhausting for you to keep going round and round the same issue.

Are you prone to anxiety and excessive rumination and overthinking generally? I'd suggest investing counselling with a therapist experienced in supporting people with those challenges, so that you can put it to rest once and for all.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:34

heldinadream · 03/07/2024 10:23

Thank you. It wasn't really about how it affected me, but about the absolute mess it caused. I do know that it is not actually my responsibility, as to how people chose to express themselves anonymously, but quite a few people who were being really nice to me (as his 'aunt') faced some quite scathing opinions. I ended up having to post something that basically threw them under the bus, in order to try and dampen down a fire from a post that I discovered I couldn't delete.
Mate, gently, it's the internet. People 'express themselves' everywhere, all over it, every day. You did nothing wrong in posting no-one got hurt in responding and I doubt any of them even remember because they will have 'expressed themselves' on eleventy billion other threads since then. You sound like you've got a massive case of over-responsibility. Chill. It's all good, really it is. Have a hug.

@heldinadream

Lol. Thank you. I don't even go on SM much, for that exact reason.

Usually, I react totally differently. But, yes.

And, sadly, I needed to hear this. Have a good one.

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 03/07/2024 10:45

It's the Internet. Be kind to yourself. Please forget about what some randoms wrote. It was a silly thing that happened. Lesson learnt, not to play with toys in a road. It was completely the 12 year old's fault. I doubt the lady driving deliberately ran it over. I remember my child letting go of a ball and it went into a main road. The driver slowed down and tried to avoid it, but it popped. It's one of those things. It was my child's fault, but she learned an important lesson, not to do it again. I have bought an expensive remote control car and I.struggled.with where to use.it. The dogs chased it in the park so I used a disused road, it's for access only. I.wouldnt buy another one again, because there's no where safe to use one properly unless you have a large flat garden.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:46

CelesteCunningham · 03/07/2024 10:22

Your original thread was 3.5 years ago, why is this all not long forgotten? It's not proportionate to still be worried about what strangers on the internet said or thought all those years ago.

What do you mean when you say you created mayhem? Do you mean in real life? Because if you mean a debate on the thread, there'll be 20 similar threads a day. Confused

Sure. This relates more to how I engage with the net, even now. Although I can deal with conflict, generally, I do go out of my way not to create it. I've seen the results of that, very bloodily, irl. I do actually think that a lot of ill-informed anger is pointless, and to some extent laughable.

But I have never posted anything as TOTALLY dumb, and I do still regret it.

Yes, I do over think a bit. But I also have an extremely retentive memory, which has served me well in many respects, but is sometimes a curse!

And by apologizing, I can let go of something that - as you say - most people would have moved on with, and ranted about something else, within ten minutes.

OP posts:
DoIWantTo · 03/07/2024 10:55

Your original thread got picked up by the DF did it not? Either way she was wrong then and still wrong now.

DoIWantTo · 03/07/2024 10:56

But also, with kindness, let it go and move on. It’s not healthy to hold onto things in this way. Unburden yourself and move on.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 10:58

Beautiful3 · 03/07/2024 10:45

It's the Internet. Be kind to yourself. Please forget about what some randoms wrote. It was a silly thing that happened. Lesson learnt, not to play with toys in a road. It was completely the 12 year old's fault. I doubt the lady driving deliberately ran it over. I remember my child letting go of a ball and it went into a main road. The driver slowed down and tried to avoid it, but it popped. It's one of those things. It was my child's fault, but she learned an important lesson, not to do it again. I have bought an expensive remote control car and I.struggled.with where to use.it. The dogs chased it in the park so I used a disused road, it's for access only. I.wouldnt buy another one again, because there's no where safe to use one properly unless you have a large flat garden.

@Beautiful3

This is soooo true. We had exactly the same thing with a ball, and a dog. It's all so built up that this stuff happens all the time. The local authority is really clamping down on car speeds, and loads of the roads are strictly access only now, with cameras.

But one of my many regrets about the initial post was that I tried to hide the Social Housing aspect, when I actually have no shame on that. Houses round here are not affordable. But I didn't want a load of people coming on and ranting about 'typical' estates.

The place we were in, back then, has actually gone. We are no longer in SH. But we still have no place we can do stuff like this, and - as you say - that's a fact of life.

At the time, I very much wanted to let my nephew have a taste of something that I am happy for him to aspire to. (But, not THAT taste!) That said, if he does not become a banker, and enjoys his life. That will do me fine.

I generally enjoy mine.

OP posts:
Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 11:08

DoIWantTo · 03/07/2024 10:55

Your original thread got picked up by the DF did it not? Either way she was wrong then and still wrong now.

@DoIWantTo

Not sure what DF is, in this context. I actually have no clue how this site works! (Though I have sometimes browsed topics, with interest, where I have been trawling opinion.)

Some of this, when it happens independently of my own input, I am just amused by. But I want to put this to bed, and I am fully in line with your other comment. I fully believe that if I hold my hands up, even if I don't need to, I can move on.

And, yes. On balance, I think she knew what she was doing or, at the very least, didn't have her head in the game.

Thank you!

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SilverSimca · 03/07/2024 11:14

DF in this context I suspect is Daily Fail ie Daily Mail, whose lazy, lazy journalists like to report threads as if they are news stories, despite having no idea whether they are true or not.

To reply to someone you either @ them or quote them (quote button at bottom of posts) both of which you are already doing. Nobody minds if you don't reply to every single poster specifically.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 11:18

SilverSimca · 03/07/2024 11:14

DF in this context I suspect is Daily Fail ie Daily Mail, whose lazy, lazy journalists like to report threads as if they are news stories, despite having no idea whether they are true or not.

To reply to someone you either @ them or quote them (quote button at bottom of posts) both of which you are already doing. Nobody minds if you don't reply to every single poster specifically.

Lol. thank you!

I did reply to this (clearly) as I thorougly enjoyed it!

OP posts:
dudsville · 03/07/2024 11:52

You've mentioned the word "shame" a couple of times, and how you hid details and threw others under the bus. Really, listen to what people are saying here. This is really all too intense and is likely signposting to a deeper or different issue.

KreedKafer · 03/07/2024 12:28

You posted about the radio controlled car three years ago… and it’s been bothering you so much that you’ve had to come back?

You weren’t exactly ripped to threads on the other thread, either. Looking at it, it seems that on balance the result was YABU, but not overwhelmingly so.

Absolutely nobody but you would even remember your other thread (I had to look it up).

I’m really puzzled as to why such an insignificant l thing as a minor online spat (about an equally minor real life incident) has been bothering you for three years, to the point where you feel the need to revisit it.

Do you have a tendency to dwell on small things and work them up into a huge thing in your head? That can’t be good for your mental health - honestly, it must be exhausting. I’m not saying this to be critical, but because I honestly think this feels unhealthy for you. It’s so disproportionate and it must be really stressful if you’re like this about other seemingly insignificant things. Please try not to be quite so hard on yourself!

voiceofastar · 03/07/2024 12:30

This is really sad, and it’s sad that you’re still ruminating on it. Do you think the driver’s comment, ‘Did you enjoy that’, possibly triggered something for you, and there’s a deeper issue here? As a child, being told off by a stranger is horrible. I can still remember the occasions it happened to my brother and me.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 03/07/2024 12:46

I don't normally say this, but she sounds like a bitch who did this on purpose.

Would I have done the same? As you? Yes. A 12 year old is old enough to be left outside alone to play with an RC car, and if something happens and it's broken then so be it. But it sounds like he drove the car out, wasn't able to retrieve it before a car came along, and unfortunately the next car was driven by some horrible person on a power trip.

Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 12:51

dudsville · 03/07/2024 11:52

You've mentioned the word "shame" a couple of times, and how you hid details and threw others under the bus. Really, listen to what people are saying here. This is really all too intense and is likely signposting to a deeper or different issue.

Sure. I am quite intense, and I like closure. I would say, in that regard, I am a little on the spectrum. There are huge plusses, and minuses, in how that plays out.

Actually, a part of this, is me accepting how stupid it all is. It's quite complex. Human's ARE complex, in different ways. I have always been quite open about how I feel. That's just me. I don't see the word shame in quite the same way as some might. I HAVE seen people about this (although not to ramble on about a post on the net) and that's all fine. Again, sometimes it works to be open, sometimes I know to be zippy.

All of that said, I would say that the original post I made was one of the most stupid things in my entire life, when it comes to what you say, and what you don't. And, given that I have from time to time thought about raising serious issues, properly, on this site, I felt I had effectively banned myself, should anyone check post history. (Which, on many sites, people do.) First thing I was going to get was, but you were a woman, and now you're a man?

So many assumptions got made, on my initial post, that I had no idea how to deal with. A great deal of what DID get attributed, I never said, or even got near to saying.

I've had issues before, on SM - even though I don't use it that much, and even though - on the few other occasions - I could hand on heart say that I had done nothing at all, to provoke some of the rubbish that ensued. In those cases, I don't care. I carry on using the site, because my post history, as a whole, speaks for itself.

I have even had issues, with THAT post, where people have searched on the username, and found it! Obviously, I stopped ever using that username!

Anyway, another long thing. But, just to reassure. It's not some full blown M/H issue! Though I have no problem, with people who've made that suggestion.

I was a whole lot more ready, this time!

Enjoy the day. I may be back, but I'll now feel that's possible!

OP posts:
Weezapleeza · 03/07/2024 12:58

KreedKafer · 03/07/2024 12:28

You posted about the radio controlled car three years ago… and it’s been bothering you so much that you’ve had to come back?

You weren’t exactly ripped to threads on the other thread, either. Looking at it, it seems that on balance the result was YABU, but not overwhelmingly so.

Absolutely nobody but you would even remember your other thread (I had to look it up).

I’m really puzzled as to why such an insignificant l thing as a minor online spat (about an equally minor real life incident) has been bothering you for three years, to the point where you feel the need to revisit it.

Do you have a tendency to dwell on small things and work them up into a huge thing in your head? That can’t be good for your mental health - honestly, it must be exhausting. I’m not saying this to be critical, but because I honestly think this feels unhealthy for you. It’s so disproportionate and it must be really stressful if you’re like this about other seemingly insignificant things. Please try not to be quite so hard on yourself!

Thank you. I think I just answered that, relative to another user. It's not quite that straightforward, and that post DID cause other issues, elsewhere.

Post history can be very damning, and I'd felt that i had effectively excluded myself from a place where, from time to time, I've found opinions quite useful.

Obviously, the easy answer to that is new account and change of username!

OP posts: